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creaternity's definitions

plug

Woo hoo! A parking spot! Doh. Nevermind. It's a damn plug.
by creaternity July 5, 2006
mugGet the plugmug.

spinning

New form of group exercise in which a dozen or more people (usually women) sit on indoor stationary bikes together and pedal to the sound of music and the directions of an instructor.
Girl 1: Wanna come to the gym with me and take a spinning class?
Boy 1: Um, I think I'll just go outside and ride my bike, but thanks anyway.

Girl 2: Wanna come to the gym with me and take a spinning class?
Boy 2: Hmm, am I in the mood do some real exercise and lift weights or stare at 20 spandexed girl butts for an hour? Hard decision.....
by creaternity May 1, 2006
mugGet the spinningmug.

seat protector

A large rounded piece of tissue paper that is designed to be placed over a toilet seat to protect the shitter from "germs" that may be residing there. The rounded section lies on top of the toilet seat (thus creating the essential Buttock-porcelain Barrier) while a cutout center flap hangs down into the toilet causing the entire paper to be sucked into the toilet when it is flushed. Seat protectors are typically contained in a dispenser on the wall of a public bathroom stall in such venues as airports and offices.
Note that the Buttock-Porcelain Barrier provided by the seat protector creates a false sense of security since someone else's bodily fluid on the toilet seat can leak right through the S.P.'s thin, porous surface. I doubt germs are foiled either.
Toilet User: Damn these seat protectors! I can't get one out of the dispenser without ripping it!

Toilet User: Ugh! Who keeps using 20 seat protectors at a time and clogging the handicap stall?
by creaternity May 23, 2006
mugGet the seat protectormug.

celltard

1. The person in the audience at a concert, play, movie, etc, who forgot to turn off his/her cell phone and is reminded of that fact by getting a call during the event, much to the irritation of everyone else nearby.

2. Someone who feels the need to yell into his/her cell phone far above and beyond normal conversational volume, much to the irritation of everyone else nearby.
Distant reverberating phone ring: beep boop boop beepity beep boop boop!
Other people in audience: What a celltard!

Celltard: BLAH BLAH BLLAAHHHH! BBBLLLAAHHH!
Other people: Shh!
by creaternity May 9, 2006
mugGet the celltardmug.

powerpoint

A heinous, but useful microsoft tool for putting together presentations of slides/viewgraphs.
This little piece of sh -- I mean, software comes with MS Office and it features creepy templates and clipart, your helpful friend Clippit and strategic incompatibilities with previous versions of itself.
It masquerades as a graphics program, but cannot touch Adobe in any way shape or form, so it is instead as annoyingly incompatible with Adobe as possible.
Also, it will HOG all your SWAP SPACE.
Bastard.
Person: Instead of doing real technical work, I spent all day making powerpoint slides out of my results, only to have the software freeze my computer after a few hours.
by creaternity May 12, 2006
mugGet the powerpointmug.

paid witness

an unarmed security guard

I mean, what the hell is this guy gonna do against a heat packing thief?
Lady: Aahhh! That guy just took my purse!
Guard: He sure did!
Lady: Well, do something, dammit!
Guard: What do you want me to do? Run up and slap him so he can knife me to death? I'm just a paid witness!
Lady: Argh!
by creaternity May 13, 2006
mugGet the paid witnessmug.

500 dollar lane

The breakdown lane on a highway. Why? Because that's how much money you gotta pay if a cop catches you driving in it.

(Can also mean the leftmost lane for trucks when they are only allowed to drive on the right.)
Passenger: This traffic sux! Let's take the 500 dollar lane.
Driver: Okay, but only if you'll front the $500 when statey sees us.
by creaternity May 12, 2006
mugGet the 500 dollar lanemug.

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