Skip to main content

Definitions by creaternity

Nickname for the highway (I-495) that encircles Washington DC through the surrounding states of Virginia and Maryland.

A defining feature of your DC-respective locale is whether it is inside or outside the beltway.

"Inside the beltway" can also refer generically to politics in the US capital city.
Person 1: I live in DC.
Person 2: No you don't. You live in Bethesda.
Person 1: Well, yeah, but it's inside the beltway.

Commuter 1: Traffic on the beltway sucked this morning.
Commuter 2: It always sucks. That's why I take the Metro.
beltway by creaternity May 23, 2006

shitwind 

the vile stench that wafts through the air as the result of a fart
Ugh, there sure is a powerful shitwind coming from that bathroom.

Arr, matey, there's a shitwind a blowin'!
shitwind by creaternity May 15, 2006
the vile draft of B.O. that surrounds a person with poor hygiene or poor grasp of the deoderant concept
You can smell Landphil's pitwind coming long before he's in sight.
pitwind by creaternity May 15, 2006
A police technique in which a handful of people fitting a similar description are stood in a line together for a witness of a crime to see. The witness is then supposed to pick out the perp.
They had to let the suspect walk after the witness couldn't pick him out of a lineup.
lineup by creaternity May 13, 2006

paid witness 

an unarmed security guard

I mean, what the hell is this guy gonna do against a heat packing thief?
Lady: Aahhh! That guy just took my purse!
Guard: He sure did!
Lady: Well, do something, dammit!
Guard: What do you want me to do? Run up and slap him so he can knife me to death? I'm just a paid witness!
Lady: Argh!
paid witness by creaternity May 13, 2006

500 dollar lane 

The breakdown lane on a highway. Why? Because that's how much money you gotta pay if a cop catches you driving in it.

(Can also mean the leftmost lane for trucks when they are only allowed to drive on the right.)
Passenger: This traffic sux! Let's take the 500 dollar lane.
Driver: Okay, but only if you'll front the $500 when statey sees us.

powerpoint

A heinous, but useful microsoft tool for putting together presentations of slides/viewgraphs.
This little piece of sh -- I mean, software comes with MS Office and it features creepy templates and clipart, your helpful friend Clippit and strategic incompatibilities with previous versions of itself.
It masquerades as a graphics program, but cannot touch Adobe in any way shape or form, so it is instead as annoyingly incompatible with Adobe as possible.
Also, it will HOG all your SWAP SPACE.
Bastard.
Person: Instead of doing real technical work, I spent all day making powerpoint slides out of my results, only to have the software freeze my computer after a few hours.
powerpoint by creaternity May 12, 2006