Definitions by creaternity
seat protector
A large rounded piece of tissue paper that is designed to be placed over a toilet seat to protect the shitter from "germs" that may be residing there. The rounded section lies on top of the toilet seat (thus creating the essential Buttock-porcelain Barrier) while a cutout center flap hangs down into the toilet causing the entire paper to be sucked into the toilet when it is flushed. Seat protectors are typically contained in a dispenser on the wall of a public bathroom stall in such venues as airports and offices.
Note that the Buttock-Porcelain Barrier provided by the seat protector creates a false sense of security since someone else's bodily fluid on the toilet seat can leak right through the S.P.'s thin, porous surface. I doubt germs are foiled either.
Note that the Buttock-Porcelain Barrier provided by the seat protector creates a false sense of security since someone else's bodily fluid on the toilet seat can leak right through the S.P.'s thin, porous surface. I doubt germs are foiled either.
Toilet User: Damn these seat protectors! I can't get one out of the dispenser without ripping it!
Toilet User: Ugh! Who keeps using 20 seat protectors at a time and clogging the handicap stall?
Toilet User: Ugh! Who keeps using 20 seat protectors at a time and clogging the handicap stall?
seat protector by creaternity May 23, 2006
lineup
A police technique in which a handful of people fitting a similar description are stood in a line together for a witness of a crime to see. The witness is then supposed to pick out the perp.
lineup by creaternity May 13, 2006
paid witness
Lady: Aahhh! That guy just took my purse!
Guard: He sure did!
Lady: Well, do something, dammit!
Guard: What do you want me to do? Run up and slap him so he can knife me to death? I'm just a paid witness!
Lady: Argh!
Guard: He sure did!
Lady: Well, do something, dammit!
Guard: What do you want me to do? Run up and slap him so he can knife me to death? I'm just a paid witness!
Lady: Argh!
paid witness by creaternity May 13, 2006
500 dollar lane
The breakdown lane on a highway. Why? Because that's how much money you gotta pay if a cop catches you driving in it.
(Can also mean the leftmost lane for trucks when they are only allowed to drive on the right.)
(Can also mean the leftmost lane for trucks when they are only allowed to drive on the right.)
Passenger: This traffic sux! Let's take the 500 dollar lane.
Driver: Okay, but only if you'll front the $500 when statey sees us.
Driver: Okay, but only if you'll front the $500 when statey sees us.
500 dollar lane by creaternity May 12, 2006
Word of the Day on May 13, 2006
powerpoint
A heinous, but useful microsoft tool for putting together presentations of slides/viewgraphs.
This little piece of sh -- I mean, software comes with MS Office and it features creepy templates and clipart, your helpful friend Clippit and strategic incompatibilities with previous versions of itself.
It masquerades as a graphics program, but cannot touch Adobe in any way shape or form, so it is instead as annoyingly incompatible with Adobe as possible.
Also, it will HOG all your SWAP SPACE.
Bastard.
This little piece of sh -- I mean, software comes with MS Office and it features creepy templates and clipart, your helpful friend Clippit and strategic incompatibilities with previous versions of itself.
It masquerades as a graphics program, but cannot touch Adobe in any way shape or form, so it is instead as annoyingly incompatible with Adobe as possible.
Also, it will HOG all your SWAP SPACE.
Bastard.
Person: Instead of doing real technical work, I spent all day making powerpoint slides out of my results, only to have the software freeze my computer after a few hours.
powerpoint by creaternity May 12, 2006