chris firth's definitions

pipsy

Easy, no trouble, no stress, simple as can be.
Derived in Yorkshire from the kid slang: easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Ie Lemon pip (seed) - pipsicale - pipsy. Currently in use with 11\12 year olds, who claim its old coinage, at least 2 years old.

Teacher: You can now begin the test. Turn over your papers.

(A pause of vocal silence and paper rustling, followed by the sniff of the precosious kid at the front)

Precosious kid: This test is pipsy. I'll get 100 per cent.

by chris firth September 23, 2006

lalah

A kindly, jovial term for a British (second generation plus) Asian Muslim.

1. Fagger: I'm out of cigarettes and need a smoke.
Fagger's Mate: Ha! And all the shops are closed.
Fagger: No they're not. The lalah corner shop is open all night.

2. You've got to watch those lalahs - they all carry knives.

by chris firth November 6, 2006

real time

The subjective experience of time passing confirmed as about right by external, objective measuring criteria ie an hour feels about like an hour, and this is confirmed by looking at a clock, where an hour has indeed been measured as having passed. As opposed to (e-time), where time seems to pass at a quicker or slower rate than external measuring systems would suggest.

1. I had an hour real time left at work - and it passed in exactly an hour on the clock.
2. It seemed I'd only been online a few minutes real time, but when I looked at the clock it had been three hours.

by chris firth September 9, 2006

branwell

After Branwell Bronte.
Yorkshire slang for an intellecual, drug addled, boozed-up waster, (of which there are many here) or one with pretentions of being such - after the infamous opium guzzling brother of the Bronte sisters, who allegedy wrote the novel 'Wuthering Heights but was too wrecked to notice that his sister published it under her name!

(Two old mates meet in a chance encounter at the bar)
Jim-bob: Yo, Marmaduke. How ya doing?
Marmaduke: Hey, I'm fine mate. How's your Ralph?
Jim-bob: Ah, he's always mashed and on the lash these days.
Marmaduke: Yeah, I heard he's turned into a bit of a Branwell.

by chris firth January 25, 2007

teacher breath

1. A personal awareness that ones breath does not smell good, either having imbibed tea, alcohol, mints, but usually coffee.
2. Smelly, coffee breath, as experiened by school pupils when their teachers speak to them within sniffing distance just after morning break.

Check out girl: Seventeen pounds and thirty three p, please.

Shopper: Here you go, love. (stoops too low as handing over cash). Sorry about my teacher breath.

Check out girl: No worries (but thinking: Urgh. This stront mings of coffee.

by chris firth September 23, 2006

yorick

somebody whose humour kills a conversation or party; a person who thinks they are incredibly funny and popular, but who everyone else thinks is a real twat. somebody who laughs at their own jokes, but who no one else finds remotely funny. Derived from the dead clown in Shakespeare's 'Hamlet'

Herbert told us this bad joke about a Chinese dyslexic dairy farmer who bought a herd of woks. Nobody laughed at all. He's a right yorick.

by chris firth August 22, 2006

branwell bronte

Yorkshire for an intellecual, drug addled, boozed-up waster, (of which there are many here) or one with pretentions of being such - after the infamous opium guzzling brother of the Bronte sisters, who allegedy wrote the novel 'Wuthering Heights but was too wrecked to notice that his sister published it under her name!

(Two old mates meet in a chance encounter at the bar)
Jim-bob: Yo, Marmaduke. How ya doing?
Marmaduke: Hey, I'm fine mate. How's your Ralph?
Jim-bob: Ah, he's always mashed and on the lash these days.
Marmaduke: Yeah, I heard he's turned into a bit of a Branwell Bronte.

by chris firth January 17, 2007