chris firth's definitions

chavigoth

An awkward, bumbling bloke who hasn't quite yet decided whether he is a goth or a chav. He wears goth t-shirts, but has a dodgy hairstyle - half cropped half spiked - and secretly wears trainers at home!
Although he loves Buahaha, he can't resist sneaking in the odd DJ Sweetie track on his white i-pod.

Mum: Are you going out tonight, love?

Chavigoth: Yeah. I mean, yah!

Mum: Where will you be going, sweetie.

Chavigoth: Maccy D's. I mean, the Death Midnight Club!

by chris firth September 15, 2006

space hour

A tranquil time of being blasted, blitzed, drunk, stoned or tripped out without any negative awareness of external social, political or moral intrusions. No bad vibes intrude into the space hour mood. It need not be an actual hour of real time - it could be a few minutes euphoria on crack or metaamphets., or a whole life time just spliffed out from dusk till dawn in front of Nature, a TV or games console.

1. Nothing gets me in my space hour, baby.

2. Traveller: How long have you been sitting here wasted beneath this tree?

Bhuddist Hippy: Oh, all my life. Just a space hour, man.

by chris firth September 12, 2006

real time

The subjective experience of time passing confirmed as about right by external, objective measuring criteria ie an hour feels about like an hour, and this is confirmed by looking at a clock, where an hour has indeed been measured as having passed. As opposed to (e-time), where time seems to pass at a quicker or slower rate than external measuring systems would suggest.

1. I had an hour real time left at work - and it passed in exactly an hour on the clock.
2. It seemed I'd only been online a few minutes real time, but when I looked at the clock it had been three hours.

by chris firth September 9, 2006

pluto

1. somebody who has achieved promotion quickly at work, only for it to be obvious that they cannot live up to the job, and hence experience a humiliating demotion
2. a star -rock\pop etc - who is talked about a lot in the press as though they are the next big thing, but then never deliver the goods.
After the planet - which is no longer a planet!

1. hear about Smithson - last weeks new MD? Got fired, the asshole. He's a real pluto.

2. Pete Doherty is just a total pluto

by chris firth August 24, 2006

yorick

somebody whose humour kills a conversation or party; a person who thinks they are incredibly funny and popular, but who everyone else thinks is a real twat. somebody who laughs at their own jokes, but who no one else finds remotely funny. Derived from the dead clown in Shakespeare's 'Hamlet'

Herbert told us this bad joke about a Chinese dyslexic dairy farmer who bought a herd of woks. Nobody laughed at all. He's a right yorick.

by chris firth August 22, 2006

stront

a monster of a person; an ugly, malformed or mutated person circa 2000AD's Strontium Dogs.

1. I don't know what Kater Moss sees in Pete - he's a right ugly little stront

2. No you can't have my cell number, you stront.

by chris firth August 21, 2006

electraglade

a digital space where a browser or surfer finds something interesting or pleasant, and dwells there quite some e-time, and comes away feeling refreshed or relaxed. Like spending an hour in a quiet forest glade, but in a virtual environment.

1. I came across this really sweet artist's electraglade while browsing on the web last night - I spent hours just looking at the amazing pictures there.

2. Mum: Come on out from that electraglade - your supper's ready.
Kid: coming (click) ...aah. That place was mint.

by chris firth August 14, 2006