'Right then Barry' declared sharon 'first things first, I want to see you talking to the captain before you stick that cock up me - its not all about you!!'
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the talking to the captainmug. Contravertial alcoholic, dickie-bow wearing, TV Chef/funnyman who used his outdoor cookery programme as a weak pretext to travel the world, patronise and insult the local tribesmen, take advantage of local hospitality and get totally shitted on the local 'tipple' whilst simultaneously attempting to cook (and often fail spectacularly) their regional speciality dish. Sadly now deceased after years of alcohol abuse ravaged his slowly pickled body into submission.
Can we watch 'Keith Floyd around the Med' at 9pm tonight, apparently he's in Tunisia this time and apart from cooking lamb tagine with apricots he's going to be getting ripped to the tits on their local brew and taking the piss out of some local goatherders?
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the Keith Floydmug. An extermely attractive woman who, as soon as she opens her mouth, has a strong and unattractive gutteral, regional accent.
'I couldn't believe my eyes, so immediately rushed over to get in there before the competition only to discover that she was an scouse 'earplugger' and I couldn't understand a fucking word she uttered.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the Earpluggermug. The lads decided another trip down to Margate was in order - in the height of summer it was always guaranteed that there would be plenty of 'threps' on show.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the threpsmug. The opposite of the Easter Bunny who steals easter egg presents from their own kids without telling them.
"I'm afraid Aunty Mavis forgot to get you an easter egg this year little billy", said the easter mummy, "but anyway you've still got 3 more to eat and we dont want you getting sick - right?"
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the easter mummymug. When you're so desperate for a dump that you struggle to keep it in before reaching the sanctuary of a toilet. Also known as 'Touching cloth', 'pulling tongues', 'turtles head', 'getting a black eye', 'squeezing and 8 ball' etc...
'Can you hurry up in there mate, trap one has shit on the seat and i've got a monkeys toe out here?'
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the Monkeys toemug. To have an arse like a 'Rabbits Nose': To become so nervous as to develop an anal 'twitch' in anticipation of a forthcoming event. To be 'shitting oneself'.
I had an arse like a rabbits nose when they pulled me over. I was so ripped to the tits that i'd already pissed my pants several miles earlier and run over a dog and a small child.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the Rabbits Nosemug.