chesterpest's definitions
Contravertial alcoholic, dickie-bow wearing, TV Chef/funnyman who used his outdoor cookery programme as a weak pretext to travel the world, patronise and insult the local tribesmen, take advantage of local hospitality and get totally shitted on the local 'tipple' whilst simultaneously attempting to cook (and often fail spectacularly) their regional speciality dish. Sadly now deceased after years of alcohol abuse ravaged his slowly pickled body into submission.
Can we watch 'Keith Floyd around the Med' at 9pm tonight, apparently he's in Tunisia this time and apart from cooking lamb tagine with apricots he's going to be getting ripped to the tits on their local brew and taking the piss out of some local goatherders?
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the Keith Floyd mug."Oh surprise, surprise, Terry has fucking donned 'Frodo's Ring' again just when it's his turn to get the next round in."
"Then, just as about 20 of them came around the corner with baseball bats Terry whipped out Frodo's Ring again - the fucking cunt".
"Then, just as about 20 of them came around the corner with baseball bats Terry whipped out Frodo's Ring again - the fucking cunt".
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the Frodo's Ring mug.Fuck me, i've never seen anything like it - she had a twat like Hagrid's Beard. I had to get the hedgetrimmers out, her bedroom floor looked like a fucking Barbers Shop after a busy day!
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the hagrid's beard mug.An extermely attractive woman who, as soon as she opens her mouth, has a strong and unattractive gutteral, regional accent.
'I couldn't believe my eyes, so immediately rushed over to get in there before the competition only to discover that she was an scouse 'earplugger' and I couldn't understand a fucking word she uttered.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the Earplugger mug.To have an arse like a 'Rabbits Nose': To become so nervous as to develop an anal 'twitch' in anticipation of a forthcoming event. To be 'shitting oneself'.
I had an arse like a rabbits nose when they pulled me over. I was so ripped to the tits that i'd already pissed my pants several miles earlier and run over a dog and a small child.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the Rabbits Nose mug.1. A technique used by defenders to put attacking players in an offside position, by moving quickly away from their own goal to leave attackers offside.
2. A lady's 'backdoor' or 'back passage'.
2. A lady's 'backdoor' or 'back passage'.
That bag of chips I bought her was a good investment last night, not only did I get my end away, but I also managed to slip one in her 'offside trap'.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
Get the Offside Trap mug.The scam whereby Restaurants/Florists/Chocolatiers cash in on Valentine's Day by trebling the price of their products safe in the knowledge that the male suitor is effectively held to ransom with no other options open to them.
"You may as well wear a feckin mask, this is just a bloody Valentine's Day Massacre" screamed Tom to the restaurant manager whilst his paramour paid a trip to the toilet.
by chesterpest January 22, 2010
Get the Valentine's Day Massacre mug.