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Definitions by chesterpest

scudmail 

A smutty round robin email (usually slideshows of womens genitalia made to look like kebabs or turkeys), which successfully evade the attentions of the office IT police.
Geoffs latest scudmail was a powerpoint slideshow of really drunk tramps who had apparently shit themselves - it went down a storm in with the accounts boys.
scudmail by chesterpest January 22, 2010

chipolinks

a stream of small hard conjoined pebble-like turds derived from 'chipolata' and 'links'
Simon had clearly been constipated for some time, this much was evident upon examination of his recently laid 'chipolinks'.
chipolinks by chesterpest January 17, 2010

frankenstool 

A lumpy deformed turd making its appearance after a gruelling period of constipation and often consisting of several layered and compacted hard mini turds.
'That laxative certainly did the trick' exclaimed paul, 'but I appear to have given birth to an enormous frankenstool in the process'!
frankenstool by chesterpest January 17, 2010

cumberlodge 

a turd so long and unbroken when dispatched that it refuses to leave the bowl, even after several flushes.
'Dad!' cried little Jimmy, 'We've got a cumberlodge'. 'Don't worry son, i'll get my walking stick and we'll break it up a bit first'.
cumberlodge by chesterpest January 17, 2010

Jazz crooner

An elderly readers wife who makes regular appearances in the pages of a top shelf Jazz Mag.
'Has anyone seen my April edition of 'MILF times', there's a Jazz crooner on page 42 that looks just like Mavis from accounts?'
Jazz crooner by chesterpest January 17, 2010

liquid kosh 

Alternative name for Stella Artois premium strength lager. Also known as wife beater. Refers to the after effects suffered from a night on the lash.
The morning after his 'liquid kosh' fueled binge Dave lost all feeling in his legs and went blind in one eye - 'Result' he declared.
liquid kosh by chesterpest January 17, 2010

babies breakfasts 

Alternative name for iladies breasts. Also known as ladylumps, mezulas, tatties, puppies, waps, tonkas, bullwinkles noses, tits, paps, threps, jugs, melons, funbags, etc
Gary had never imagined that a woman could cultivate such an award winning set of 'babies breakfasts', pity it was his sister.
babies breakfasts by chesterpest January 17, 2010