Definitions by carl j. maltese
Hannah Montana
Just another damned clone produced by Bell Labs under contract to Disney. When she is all-used-up, they'll produce more to unleash on the public.
"Hannah Montana. Proof you can come from nowhere and bring it with you. Also, few adults know or even care that her last name is spelled with only two "n's", not three."
Hannah Montana by Carl J. Maltese February 16, 2008
Bill Frist
This millennia's Perpetual Poster Boy for birth control, incest, congenital mental impairment, miscegnation, sexual debauchery, beastaltiy and animal cruelty.
Also: He is the Incredible Christ Appointed Doctor who was able to determine that Terri Schiavo was responding to visual stimuli simply by watching a video of her for a whole hour! When Miss Shiavo finally did pass-away, her autopsy revealed there was no way she could have been responding to visual stimuli. She was blind.
Also: He is the Incredible Christ Appointed Doctor who was able to determine that Terri Schiavo was responding to visual stimuli simply by watching a video of her for a whole hour! When Miss Shiavo finally did pass-away, her autopsy revealed there was no way she could have been responding to visual stimuli. She was blind.
Be sure to read Bill Frist's self-published genealogy "Assholes beget assholes"...uh, I mean "Good people beget good people."
Bill Frist by Carl J. Maltese December 6, 2007
should have polished the wood
He: "Damn! I should have polished the wood instead of knocking you up!"
She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"
She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"
should have polished the wood by Carl J. Maltese November 9, 2007
lawn darts
An out-doors game that incorporates the skill of horse-shoes with the thrill of terminal head injury.
"I was about to learn that you should never be on the receiving end in a game of 'catch the lawn darts'...."
lawn darts by Carl J. Maltese November 1, 2007
Creationism
Creationism explained:
God + Adam + Eve -times- Cane -minus- Abel + Seth -divided by- Lilith -times- Eve's sister-in-law -divided by- dinosaurs -times- 42 -times- E=mc2 -divided by- Infinity + H2O -times- Monosodiumglutinate -minus- The Monolith + hot air + the sound of a honking horn + The Secret Ingredient -minus- your opposable thumb = ALL THAT IS AND EVER SHALL BE! AMEN!
I hope that clears things up for you.
God + Adam + Eve -times- Cane -minus- Abel + Seth -divided by- Lilith -times- Eve's sister-in-law -divided by- dinosaurs -times- 42 -times- E=mc2 -divided by- Infinity + H2O -times- Monosodiumglutinate -minus- The Monolith + hot air + the sound of a honking horn + The Secret Ingredient -minus- your opposable thumb = ALL THAT IS AND EVER SHALL BE! AMEN!
I hope that clears things up for you.
According to the Religious Right, "evolution" was just Darwin trying to explain his wife to his friends and the idea caught on! "Creationism" is, of course, the ONE TRUE and ONLY explanation for human existance. Anybody who says otherwise should have their opposable thumbs chopped off!
Creationism by Carl J. Maltese October 17, 2007
salvation army
A great place to find rather interesting...albeit used...books, CD's, cassette tapes, record albums, 8-track tapes, DVD's, 12" laser discs, VHS video tapes, BETAMAX video tapes, and obsolete electronic equipment.
A lousy place for finding clothes, furniture, or anything else that might be useful for day-to-day living.
A lousy place for finding clothes, furniture, or anything else that might be useful for day-to-day living.
"The Salvation Army thrift store is having another book sale, four for a dollar. Unfortunatley, they're also having a used underwear sale too...."
salvation army by Carl J. Maltese October 13, 2007
World War III
Websters Dictionary once defined 'World War III' as: "A hypothetical war of the future involving nuclear and/or biological weapons and resulting in the near or total destruction of mankind."
There are also many, many books, novels, short stories, scenarios, pamphlets, tracts, magazines, comic books, movies, and television shows dealing with this subject.
There are also many, many books, novels, short stories, scenarios, pamphlets, tracts, magazines, comic books, movies, and television shows dealing with this subject.
The One True Comment on World War III:
"I don't know what weapons will be used in the Third World War, but the Fourth will see the survivors...armed with clubs!"--Albert Einstein
"I don't know what weapons will be used in the Third World War, but the Fourth will see the survivors...armed with clubs!"--Albert Einstein
World War III by Carl J. Maltese July 17, 2007