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carl j. maltese's definitions

Cheerleader story

This is the imfamous urban myth about the cheerleader who: Gets on the bus with the winning football team, performs oral sex on every guy...swallows...more than once in some cases...and then becomes violently ill and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her stomach pumped!

Alternate versions of the story have said incident occuring in the locker room, at someones house and/or victory party after the game. The sport in particular also varies. Some times it's the basketball team, the lacross team, the soccer team, etc. Also, the girl in question also various. Some times it's the campus slut, sometimes it's even a hot female teacher or someone's MILF mom!

Another variation on this urban myth is that the girl in question has straight 'intercourse with the entire team, gets her genitals ripped-open, and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her ravaged vagina sewn-up/sewn shut!
"In the urban myth known as the Cheerleader story, the girl performed so much hot oral sex on the football team during their bus-ride home she had to have her stomach pumped! Guess she swallowed a little too much!"
by Carl J. Maltese March 27, 2007
mugGet the Cheerleader storymug.

religidiot

"Religidiot," rhymes with "Village Idiot."
Derogatory term for a Christian Fundamentalist...who usually deserves it.
"This was once a nice, quite town of tolerance and intellectualism until the religidiots took over and burned all the books in the public library."
by Carl J. Maltese March 31, 2007
mugGet the religidiotmug.

noitatami

"Imatation" spelled backwards. Used as a seemingly harmless word to describe someone of either gender who is: an annoying braggart, a B.S. artist, an egotist, is shallow, fake, two faced, and/or self-centered, and/or all of the above. Usually said "person" is so-full-of-themselves that they never figure out what the word is or means!
"Ha! Listen to that Mikey talken' about single-handedly winning the football game! Like we didn't help. What a noitatami!!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 29, 2007
mugGet the noitatamimug.

raining like a double-cunted cow pissing on a flat rock

An archaic "hick" term for heavy rain or snow fall.
"Sheeeeeet! It sure is cumin' down out there! Raining like a double-cunted cow pissing on a flat rock!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 28, 2007
mugGet the raining like a double-cunted cow pissing on a flat rockmug.

UCSA

United Christian States of America.

What the Religious Right would like to see our country become.

Some very good descriptions of America becoming a theocratic tyranny can be found in "The Armageddon Crazy" by Mick Farren and "Revolt in 2100" by Robert A. Heinlein
"I could see the tattered stars-and-stripes with a large gold cross occupying the very center of it. This was the flag of the UCSA: the United Christian States of America.
God help us."
by Carl J. Maltese May 31, 2007
mugGet the UCSAmug.

howard stern

The greatest DJ who ever lived. Period.
The only man with any guts to stand-up to the Powers-That-Be and tell the uncensored truth!
The first truly alternative morning radio show worth listening to, as compared to the "Morning Zoo Crews."
The only one worth listening to.
The ONE!
"Howard Stern has the distinct honor of having a public rest-room named after him on the Jersey Turnpike!"
by Carl J. Maltese May 31, 2007
mugGet the howard sternmug.

pat robertson

The televangelist who, on national telvision, will peel-off his human mask and reveal to the world that he is the Antichrist!
"How do I know Pat Robertson is the Antichrist?
Jerry Falwell told me so!"
by Carl J. Maltese June 10, 2007
mugGet the pat robertsonmug.

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