captain phoenix's definitions

mary jane's last dance

Godsend of a song by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers that super-personifies "the last toke".

excerpt & interpretation from mary jane's last dance:

SHE MOVED DOWN HERE,
AT THE AGE OF 18,
SHE BLEW THEM BOYS AWAY,
WAS MORE THAN THEY'D SEEN.

the indiana boys' first toke

I WAS INTRODUCED AND WE BOTH STARTED GROOVIN'.

Tom's (?) first toke

SHE SAID I DIG YA BABY BUT I GOT TO BE MOVIN,
ON.
KEEP MOVIN' ON.

he liked it because it treated him well
eventually, though, he has to give it up:

LAST DANCE WITH MARY JANE,
ONE MORE TIME TO KILL THE PA-AIN.

come on

I FEEL SUMMER CREEPIN' IN,
AND I'M,
TIRED OF THIS TOWN AGA-AIN.

kind of confusing personification. here's my guess:
"summer"=best time of the year; most comfortable weather
therefore "summer" is the euphoric high, slowing "creeping" into his system
"town"=could be a lot of things:
1) the boring indiana town, whose boredom he escapes through smoking, however, more likely:
2) the "down" state; not being high (could be an anagram?)

that should get you guys started. this is taking forever and i have class. figure the rest out on your own.

by captain phoenix May 4, 2006

trifecta

The fastest way to puke/give yourself alcohol poisoning from beer: in immediate succession, disc, shotgun, funnel. If done properly, 7 beers in under a minute.

We completed the trifecta in 45 seconds, and felt it immediately.

by captain phoenix May 17, 2006

glassschlager

Works on the same premise as Goldschlager. Made by accidentally leaving a jug of wine in the freezer, letting it explode, then scooping the frozen mess into a nalgene and defrosting. The shards of broken glass replace the "Gold" and the jug wine (preferrably Carlo Rassi) replaces the "schlager". May also include blood.

That burning sensation is normal. They call it "Glassschlager".

by captain phoenix May 11, 2006

beer bong

NO! A beer bong is the home-made pressure release valve (basically two straws and a cover) placed on top of a long neck to effectively shotgun the long neck. The thing with the tubing and a funnel is a funnel...in case you couldn't get the connection.

Once you release your thumb from the shorter straw on the beer bong, the pressure releases, causing air to rush into the long neck and force beer out like a fire hose.

by captain phoenix June 27, 2006

thumber

The most highly-reguarded throw in ultimate. Usually reserved for true ultimate players. Low release gets more cool points, especially as a break throw.

Thumbers win games.

by captain phoenix May 11, 2006

skittles

With Skittle bag, sometimes used to refer to miscellaneous heterogeneous mix of various narcotic pills, jumbled up in a bag (usually leftovers donated to the communal skittle bag). Often multicolored like a bag of skittles. Incredibly dangerous, as the actual contents are often unknown, and, thusly, the effects are often a surprise high.

Yo, break open the bag o' skittles and let's do some lines.

by captain phoenix May 17, 2006

hangover helper

The cure to the common hangover, and a monster of a breakfast sandwich. Comprised of bacon, sausage, ham, eggs, and cheese heeped onto an enormous hard roll. Also a good source of the vitamin cholesterol.

Got a hangover? Well head on down to your local deli and ask for new Hangover Helper and watch your headache vanish. (Side effects include, but are not limited to: upset stomache, dhiarria, gutteral bulge, and heart attacks)

by captain phoenix May 10, 2006