Skip to main content

by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle's definitions

Caravandal

A person who is so tall they can destroy a caravan by just standing up in it. As he stands up the caravandal's head smashes through the roof and the caravan is then ruined.
Anyone who is 5' 10" should be banned from caravans. They're all caravandals.
mugGet the Caravandalmug.

Scotch Fugly

The highest level of ugliness. A truly unbelievable degree of repulsiveness usually only achieved by little fat security guards.
Ugliness levels:

1 ugly

2 pug ugly

3 fugly

4 pug fugly

5 super pug fugly

6 scotch fugly
mugGet the Scotch Fuglymug.

Braai

South African word for a barbecue. According to Pork Scotch and Goofy Granny this is "the only way to eat" and even "the only way to live". In reality however it is the only way to be fat and gay and wear pink flowery shorts.
For normal people a braai is something reserved for special occasions. For Scotch Man Porky Wawky its something you do at least once a day if the sun is out.
mugGet the Braaimug.

Maxwells

A South African word for 'bollocks'. The word was coined in the 1980s by South Africans who came to realise that English men called Maxwell talk nothing but bollocks.
Pork Scotch: I've got a girlfriend.

South African person: Maxwells! That's not a girl. Its a vampire turkey from hell.
mugGet the Maxwellsmug.

Big Bad Scotch

The name assumed by a fat security guard who thinks that sitting in the gatehouse of a pie factory makes him the most important man in the world. He spends most of his working day reading his newspaper and demanding to see the ID of the only people of lower grade than him - the toilet cleaners.
Stop! Who goes there?

None of your fat business. Who the hell are you?

I am the Scotch, the Big Bad Scotch.

Correction. You're a fat ugly nobody with little legs and a gay moustache.
by by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 18, 2009
mugGet the Big Bad Scotchmug.

Pak Magic

Eggs.

Grandad curry-hat's idea of black magic is having eggs placed in his hedge by Nogtard as a revenge prank for having bourbons posted through his letterbox.

The old twat was so terrified he phoned the landlady next door, shaking in his turban.
How come there are eggs in the hedge? Was it a student prank?

No, I think you'll find its Pak Magic.
mugGet the Pak Magicmug.

half-car

The vehicle driven by the Porky Scotcher. It is a white van with a very peculiar arrangement of windows. It is known as a half-car because it has too many windows to be considered a van and not enough to be considered a car.
Monk: That's a weird vehicle. Neither van nor car but somewhere in between.

Dad: Yes Monk, the technical name is 'half-car'. Its a vehicle especially for fat security guards who think they're too important to drive vans.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 1, 2009
mugGet the half-carmug.

Share this definition