by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle's definitions
Tent-sized light blue Y-fronts worn by Nogtard. First spotted on 22nd August when Nogtard stopped in the street and lifted his polo shirt. The pants were halfway up his chest and of a style not made since 1987. How often he changes them is anyone's guess.
Are we getting a marquee for my birthday party?
Not sure we'll get one big enough for all those guests we've got coming. We'll have to use Nogtard's pants instead.
Not sure we'll get one big enough for all those guests we've got coming. We'll have to use Nogtard's pants instead.
by by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 22, 2009
Get the Nogtard's pantsmug. A version of Bruce Springsteen's song "Born to Run" sung by Pork Scotch, the world's ugliest dickhead. First sung as a drunken karaoke performance and later recorded at Goofy Granny's expense. The record sold precisely 2 copies.
I've made a record therefore I'm young and cool.
But what the hell does the song mean?
It means I was born to Scotch. Scotch means to be cool. I was born to be cool.
OK Dickwad, you need to look up "Scotching" on Urban Dictionary.
But what the hell does the song mean?
It means I was born to Scotch. Scotch means to be cool. I was born to be cool.
OK Dickwad, you need to look up "Scotching" on Urban Dictionary.
by by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 20, 2009
Get the Born To Scotchmug. Eggs.
Grandad curry-hat's idea of black magic is having eggs placed in his hedge by Nogtard as a revenge prank for having bourbons posted through his letterbox.
The old twat was so terrified he phoned the landlady next door, shaking in his turban.
Grandad curry-hat's idea of black magic is having eggs placed in his hedge by Nogtard as a revenge prank for having bourbons posted through his letterbox.
The old twat was so terrified he phoned the landlady next door, shaking in his turban.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle July 31, 2009
Get the Pak Magicmug. The name assumed by a fat security guard who thinks that sitting in the gatehouse of a pie factory makes him the most important man in the world. He spends most of his working day reading his newspaper and demanding to see the ID of the only people of lower grade than him - the toilet cleaners.
Stop! Who goes there?
None of your fat business. Who the hell are you?
I am the Scotch, the Big Bad Scotch.
Correction. You're a fat ugly nobody with little legs and a gay moustache.
None of your fat business. Who the hell are you?
I am the Scotch, the Big Bad Scotch.
Correction. You're a fat ugly nobody with little legs and a gay moustache.
by by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 18, 2009
Get the Big Bad Scotchmug. The vehicle driven by the Porky Scotcher. It is a white van with a very peculiar arrangement of windows. It is known as a half-car because it has too many windows to be considered a van and not enough to be considered a car.
Monk: That's a weird vehicle. Neither van nor car but somewhere in between.
Dad: Yes Monk, the technical name is 'half-car'. Its a vehicle especially for fat security guards who think they're too important to drive vans.
Dad: Yes Monk, the technical name is 'half-car'. Its a vehicle especially for fat security guards who think they're too important to drive vans.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 1, 2009
Get the half-carmug. A South African word for 'bollocks'. The word was coined in the 1980s by South Africans who came to realise that English men called Maxwell talk nothing but bollocks.
Pork Scotch: I've got a girlfriend.
South African person: Maxwells! That's not a girl. Its a vampire turkey from hell.
South African person: Maxwells! That's not a girl. Its a vampire turkey from hell.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle May 29, 2009
Get the Maxwellsmug. The largest member of the slug family, a slimy purple beast weighing over 4 pounds. This species is believed to have a world population of one, the individual in question residing in the mouth of a fat black moron known as Nogtard. It is force-fed a diet of Sargent's apple pies, Hill's ginger biscuits and Smart Price vanilla ice cream.
You can keep your tarantulas, pythons and grizzlies. The most fearsome, disgusting creature in the world is Nogtard's Tongue.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 1, 2009
Get the Nogtard's Tonguemug.