Definitions by brett burkhardt
Golden Parachute Punk
Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.
Golden Parachute Punk by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Suicide by Slut
The congressman was committing suicide by slut when he took those tranny hookers to the pay by the hour motel just three blocks down from the local tv station.
When Greg told us he doesn’t use condoms with the skanks he brings home from the bar we all knew he was committing suicide by slut.
When Greg told us he doesn’t use condoms with the skanks he brings home from the bar we all knew he was committing suicide by slut.
Suicide by Slut by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Guido Hair
Hair that looks greasy and disgusting from having too much product in it and can withstand winds of up to 90 miles an hour without even moving.
Anthony thought his hair was super sweet but what woman wants a man who’s hair could be used as a lethal weapon?
“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”
Guido Hair by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Down Low Lurker
A man on the DL who lurks around public restrooms, parks, truck stops, porn stores, the locker room and shower at the gym, etc. looking for some random stranger(s) to have sex with.
I hate going to the gym on Thursdays after work. There’s this creepy DL Lurker who always seems to be hanging around in the shower or wandering the locker room in a towel.
I swear to God, her boyfriend is a down low lurker. I see him hanging around by the library bathroom three nights a week.
I swear to God, her boyfriend is a down low lurker. I see him hanging around by the library bathroom three nights a week.
Down Low Lurker by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Jewelry Junky
Someone who spends all their money on ugly, shitty jewelry and insists on wearing as much of it as possible.
April hated her jewelry junky roommate. You could hear the banging and clicking of her ugly necklaces, bracelets, anklets, and rings every time she moved around the house.
Annie was a pathetic jewelry junky. She’d parade around the office in 10 cheap gold chains and bracelets up to her elbows.
Annie was a pathetic jewelry junky. She’d parade around the office in 10 cheap gold chains and bracelets up to her elbows.
Jewelry Junky by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
QVC Crack Head
I was horrified when I saw that aunt Mary spent over a thousand dollars a month on crap from QVC but when she told me she returned all but $20 worth of stuff I knew she was a real QVC crack head.
QVC Crack Head by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008