Definitions by bonny lad

mouse's ear 

Opposite of clown's pocket.

"That's the stuff... Ooh yeh!"

mouse's ear by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

Slap 

Generic term for make-up.

"I'll look beautiful once I've put on a bit of slap."
"I seriously doubt it, Brian."

Slap by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

Slap 

When used in the configuration of 'having a slap' it means to masturbate.

Bill: D'you want to go to the match tonight?
Dave: Nah, I was going to stay in and have a slap.

Slap by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

part me hair 

When you want to go for a number two, you are in fact going to 'part your hair'.

"Bloody kebab. I'm off to part me hair."

part me hair by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

Face Like A 

...smacked arse, bag of spanners, box of frogs, bulldog chewing on a wasp, smashed crab, Chernobyl Fireman's Head etc.

Ugly beyond reproach.

Dave: "That lad's got a face like a chernobyl fireman's head."
Bill: "As I understand it, he was in fact a chernobyl fireman."
Dave: "(sings) #It's a wonderful life...#" (etc)

Face Like A by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

Banana Time 

Refers to a study done by a misguided sociologist. He discovered the remarkable fact that workers make boring jobs more bearable by talking to each other. No shit! He observed the least productive part of the workers' day was when one guy stole another guys banana. This happened on every day of the study. Hence - when you're at work, doing bugger all, you are having 'banana time'.

Check this out on any search engine if you don't beleive me.

"Jenkins! You were supposed to have that report on my desk by three!"
"Sorry boss, we've been having a bit of banana time."
"You're all fired." (etc)

Banana Time by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

send an urgent fax 

verb. To become suddenly taken away from whatever you are doing by the vast need to deposit a particularly tempestuous turd which gives no warning of its presence whatsoever until the very last minute.

Sexy new secretary: "So, do you want to grab a bite to eat?"
You: (face going purple) "Sorry love, I've got to send an urgent fax."

send an urgent fax by Bonny lad November 11, 2004