99 definitions by blue cawdrey
UK: Somebody who is going to or has died, also used in an ireverent way to defuse a situation through humor.
1) Parachutist's reserve chute fails, 'he's a goner for sure'.
2) Submarine sinks below a depth where rescue is possible.
'The whole crew are goners poor bastards'.
3) Harry did not get home till 5am, he'll be a goner when his wife gets hold of him.
2) Submarine sinks below a depth where rescue is possible.
'The whole crew are goners poor bastards'.
3) Harry did not get home till 5am, he'll be a goner when his wife gets hold of him.
by blue cawdrey November 23, 2004
UK: A person from Manchester.
Manchester is a City in the North of England. Originally a Roman settlement the Romans wisely decided to leave it were it was and for hundreds of years it stayed dormant until it erupted like a festering boil during the Industrial Revolution.
The Mancunian women live on Council estates and give birth to between 4-12 young during a lifetime of 40-50 years when they die off from obecity, excessive smoking and atmospheric pollution.
The young are allowed to run free as soon as they learn to walk at an age of 2-3 weeks and spend most of their time stealing, vandalising and spray painting and generally breaking everything in sight.
Despite the occasional temporary appearance of a Mancunian male in these nests, the young are often violent unpredictable creatures and a cattle prod is needed for proper guidance.
On trying to get a female to control its offspring she makes the usual cry off 'eeesGotNoooowareToooGoww!’ and will attempt repeatedly to cross a pair of underdeveloped stubby little arms over her massive pair of overused jugs.
Suggesting perhaps occasionally sending him/her into school for the day elicits a similar response.
The Governments efforts to build schools, colleges, libraries, leisure centres, parks, community centres, crèches in the area and having the biggest football ground in the country still do not help the situation as the females never move far from their daytime soapy television sets to learn of these things.
If the young see such a structure they naturally assume it has been put there for spray painting and have little more to do with it once it is completely coated in brightly colored paint exept perhaps to scent mark it by defecating or urinating on it.
The females when not watching daytime soaps enjoy going to shopping centres and walking into people, this pastime is often enhaced by the use of shopping trollies or specially sharpened prams. Sometimes they may take a break from this to go shoplifting or feed the numerous little ones at a ‘Mc’Donalds’.
The Mancunian male lives on Lager Vouchers and spend their day grouped together in a watering hole called ‘the pub’ drinking Boddingtons a yellow liquid that may be the cause of a nervous affliction called the Bodingtons Twitch if drunk in sufficient quantities.
For sport they wait for strangers to enter the pub and play a game called ‘Northern Hospitality’
Stage one Involves getting the stranger to answer a lot of questions and buy them all Bodingtons in vast quantities.
Stage two: Involves turning the back on the person and completely ignoring them except for chattering on like women do in the rest of the country and referring occaisionally to the now financially challenged stranger in the third person. This behaviour is common in most pubs in Manchester and quite well documented. The game is judged lost if the stranger manages to leave the pub with any money.
About 11.00pm they then go of to reproduce or sleep over at ‘mams’, failing that they will happily curl up in a ditch or under a sofa on a nest of empty beer cans, cider bottles, old newspaper and carrier bags till the pubs open again.
Fortunately Manchester is easy to spot from a distance as it lies in a bowl shape depression and from a distance the shimmering yellow layer of smog and smoke that builds up in this bowl due to gravity makes it easy to see and avoid.
Mancunians worship ‘Manchester United’ and on feast day the City comes to a halt for ceremonial fighting, prayer and ritual use of Boddingtons beer.
Dress: Track suits and stuff from thrift shops. They also tend to try and copy American fashion trends but do this very badly.
Music: Anything that they can buy in 4:4 time with no melody.
From a six year study based in Stretford, Manchester UK.
Manchester is a City in the North of England. Originally a Roman settlement the Romans wisely decided to leave it were it was and for hundreds of years it stayed dormant until it erupted like a festering boil during the Industrial Revolution.
The Mancunian women live on Council estates and give birth to between 4-12 young during a lifetime of 40-50 years when they die off from obecity, excessive smoking and atmospheric pollution.
The young are allowed to run free as soon as they learn to walk at an age of 2-3 weeks and spend most of their time stealing, vandalising and spray painting and generally breaking everything in sight.
Despite the occasional temporary appearance of a Mancunian male in these nests, the young are often violent unpredictable creatures and a cattle prod is needed for proper guidance.
On trying to get a female to control its offspring she makes the usual cry off 'eeesGotNoooowareToooGoww!’ and will attempt repeatedly to cross a pair of underdeveloped stubby little arms over her massive pair of overused jugs.
Suggesting perhaps occasionally sending him/her into school for the day elicits a similar response.
The Governments efforts to build schools, colleges, libraries, leisure centres, parks, community centres, crèches in the area and having the biggest football ground in the country still do not help the situation as the females never move far from their daytime soapy television sets to learn of these things.
If the young see such a structure they naturally assume it has been put there for spray painting and have little more to do with it once it is completely coated in brightly colored paint exept perhaps to scent mark it by defecating or urinating on it.
The females when not watching daytime soaps enjoy going to shopping centres and walking into people, this pastime is often enhaced by the use of shopping trollies or specially sharpened prams. Sometimes they may take a break from this to go shoplifting or feed the numerous little ones at a ‘Mc’Donalds’.
The Mancunian male lives on Lager Vouchers and spend their day grouped together in a watering hole called ‘the pub’ drinking Boddingtons a yellow liquid that may be the cause of a nervous affliction called the Bodingtons Twitch if drunk in sufficient quantities.
For sport they wait for strangers to enter the pub and play a game called ‘Northern Hospitality’
Stage one Involves getting the stranger to answer a lot of questions and buy them all Bodingtons in vast quantities.
Stage two: Involves turning the back on the person and completely ignoring them except for chattering on like women do in the rest of the country and referring occaisionally to the now financially challenged stranger in the third person. This behaviour is common in most pubs in Manchester and quite well documented. The game is judged lost if the stranger manages to leave the pub with any money.
About 11.00pm they then go of to reproduce or sleep over at ‘mams’, failing that they will happily curl up in a ditch or under a sofa on a nest of empty beer cans, cider bottles, old newspaper and carrier bags till the pubs open again.
Fortunately Manchester is easy to spot from a distance as it lies in a bowl shape depression and from a distance the shimmering yellow layer of smog and smoke that builds up in this bowl due to gravity makes it easy to see and avoid.
Mancunians worship ‘Manchester United’ and on feast day the City comes to a halt for ceremonial fighting, prayer and ritual use of Boddingtons beer.
Dress: Track suits and stuff from thrift shops. They also tend to try and copy American fashion trends but do this very badly.
Music: Anything that they can buy in 4:4 time with no melody.
From a six year study based in Stretford, Manchester UK.
by blue cawdrey November 19, 2004
Software that attempts to filter out spam email.
Spam filters work in several ways.
1) IP blocking; orginzations like Spam cop provide lists of IP numbers known to be used by spammers.
2) Word list; Spammers repeatedly try to sell the same stupid products so emails containing words like viagra, mlm, bigger penis, remove me ect; are blocked.
3) Heuristics; In an effort to get round spam filters spammers hire people that do have a brain to create more and more elaborate emails. Heuristics is a way using smart programing techniques to block these emails.
Spam filtering is an ongoing race between the spammer and the human race over who owns the inbox.
Helping your spam filter:
1)Never contact, buy from a spammer or click on a link in a spam email.
2)Turn of HTML in your inbox spammers have ways of knowing if a HTML email has been viewed.
3) Never click the on the remove me link in an email, spammers are liars and it will verify you as a live email address for more spam.
Spam filters work in several ways.
1) IP blocking; orginzations like Spam cop provide lists of IP numbers known to be used by spammers.
2) Word list; Spammers repeatedly try to sell the same stupid products so emails containing words like viagra, mlm, bigger penis, remove me ect; are blocked.
3) Heuristics; In an effort to get round spam filters spammers hire people that do have a brain to create more and more elaborate emails. Heuristics is a way using smart programing techniques to block these emails.
Spam filtering is an ongoing race between the spammer and the human race over who owns the inbox.
Helping your spam filter:
1)Never contact, buy from a spammer or click on a link in a spam email.
2)Turn of HTML in your inbox spammers have ways of knowing if a HTML email has been viewed.
3) Never click the on the remove me link in an email, spammers are liars and it will verify you as a live email address for more spam.
User: I have just recieved an email offering me a larger permenantly erect penis, larger breasts, an opportunity to share my credit card details with a nigerian bank worker who wants to give me $16, 000, 000 and access to unlimited prescribed drugs.
I am not sure if I am ready yet to become a mega rich ladyboy with a permenant hard on who is addicted to valium. What can I do?
System Administrator: Hang in there I will check the spam filter
I am not sure if I am ready yet to become a mega rich ladyboy with a permenant hard on who is addicted to valium. What can I do?
System Administrator: Hang in there I will check the spam filter
by blue cawdrey November 23, 2004
Detonater cord a stable explosive with many civil and military usages. It is graded in grains of explosive per foot and resembles clothes line.
The engineer used lengths of det. cord to link the main charges prior to demolishing the old building.
The combat engineers wrapped lengths of det cord round the girders to cut through them.
The combat engineers wrapped lengths of det cord round the girders to cut through them.
by blue cawdrey November 24, 2004
by blue cawdrey November 19, 2004
Head waiter: 'Apologetic cough, Excuse me sir do you know that you are flying without a license,
<Thought bubble> ... and that the sight of your scabby dick is upsetting our customers.
<Thought bubble> ... and that the sight of your scabby dick is upsetting our customers.
by blue cawdrey November 21, 2004
1). Electronics: They fate of sensitive electronic chips when handled without suitable anti-static precautions, or when a higher than recomended voltage is passed through them.
2). Culinary: Preparing food by dropping it into hot fat or oil.
2). Culinary: Preparing food by dropping it into hot fat or oil.
(L)user, my computers mother-board will not work since I overclocked it.
Support: Well sir, the blackened hole in the side of the casing and the blobs of molten solder may suggest you have fried a chip or two.
Wait a minute sir you are Big Baz we went to school together, you always made me do your homework, ha ha remember, what are you doing these days?
(L)user: Why, I work in Mc'Donalds where I fry chips.
Support: Ahhh! Very good sir; you seem to be very good at frying chips, hmmm’ I ‘m afraid your warranty does not cover this...
Support: Well sir, the blackened hole in the side of the casing and the blobs of molten solder may suggest you have fried a chip or two.
Wait a minute sir you are Big Baz we went to school together, you always made me do your homework, ha ha remember, what are you doing these days?
(L)user: Why, I work in Mc'Donalds where I fry chips.
Support: Ahhh! Very good sir; you seem to be very good at frying chips, hmmm’ I ‘m afraid your warranty does not cover this...
by blue cawdrey November 23, 2004