bkn's definitions

Cordigami

The ancient art of maintaining USB and headphone cords using various coiling and twisting techniques.

Bryan: 'Hey Dustin, what are you doing with that impossibly tangled pile of cables?'
Dustin: Cordigami.
Bryan: Cool.

by bkn April 12, 2014

Afterbirther

Anyone obsessed (pro or con) with whatever document may be Barack Obama's most recently released Birth Certificate, or Certificate of Live Birth. Afterbirther's like to duke it out on political and popular conspiracy theory comment threads.

Kevin: "I just saw the latest forensic analysis of Obama's birth certificate on Drudge. What a forgery!

Dylan: "Good God man, you believe that crap? I was there when Obama was born!"

Pam: "You guys... such Afterbirthers!

by bkn May 22, 2011

Holla Black

When hopelessly white people attempt to seem dope by interjecting out-of-date ebonics into everyday conversation, especially at the office or during bachelorette parties.

Overheard:
Cindy: "Holla bitches!"
Karen: "Fashizzle my nizzle"

Shauntavius: "Sigh."
Tyrell: "Look at those females, attempting to 'holla black'".

by bkn April 17, 2011

phantom notification

When a popular social media app clearly indicates that you have an unread notification, only to reveal there are no new notifications. The only people affected by this are people that never get mentions or RTs, because important people always have hundreds of unread messages at any given time. The Phantom message is a technique the service uses to make you feel popular, even though nobody reads your lame-ass tweets.

Tim: My twizzler is blowing up. Never mind, just another phantom notification.

by bkn June 13, 2014

drunkberry

Using one's blackberry when intoxicated to harass or amuse friends, or especially co-workers.

"So I'm totally going to drunkberry that girl from accounting tonight and make an ass outta myself"

by BKN August 14, 2007

Milwaukee Shower

A variation on the venerable Golden Shower, the Milwaukee Shower can only be performed after consuming several 40-oz bottles of Milwaukee's finest. Noted for its greenish-orange hue and sulfer/ass overtones, beers from this delightful city yield a vigorous urine stream of pure battery acid.

Wes: Hey honey, are you up for some watersports tonight? I can run down to the corner store for a six-pack of Beast.

Sharon: I might, but only if you buy an imported wheat beer. My skin is still recovering from last Friday's Milwaukee Shower!

by bkn December 1, 2009

Buffer Song

A mediocre song used by an internet streaming service like Pandora to let you know they're about to play something really shitty. This gives you the opportunity to change the station before inadvertently hearing something distasteful. Coined by popular podcast host, Adam Carolla

Adam: I was listening to an Elvis Costello channel on Pandora earlier and John Cougar's opus "Hurts So Good" suddenly started playing.
Ray: Shit. At least they should've given you a Buffer Song.
Adam: Yes, anything by Gary Wright would've been sufficient

by bkn March 3, 2014