Definitions by bitchuck

creampie eating

If a creampie is a freshly-inseminated vagina, creampie eating is the act of licking and swallowing semen directly from the vagina. It's the only gentlemanly way to atone for your sins if you come too soon, leaving your partner not yet fully satisfied.

Just kidding. A cream pie is merely an innocent food or dessert choice, in which case creampie eating is merely a way to pack on a few extra pounds or kilogrammes. Even then, expect this to be fetishised: see BBW, big beautiful woman, BBW chaser and feederism for a taste of where this might be going.

creampie eating by bitchuck March 14, 2024

gangbang 

Any wild orgy between Smurfsj.

Due to the lopsided gender ratio, any such gathering will inevitably become a gangbang.

According to the reference volume "Sex and the Single Smurfette": as a form of group sex, a Smurf orgy becomes inevitably a gangbang due to lopsided demographics. In the Smurf village there is only one Smurfette. There are seemingly unlimited numbers of male Smurfs, each of whom has blue balls. The only way to relieve all of these blue balls is for Smurfette to smurf every man or boy in the village, one by one, until everyone's smurfed out and too tired to continue.

gangbang by bitchuck November 25, 2023

kinky bum sex 

When two homeless bums make the beast with two backs.

One homeless guy will slide his hard throbbing cock into another guys tight arsehole, then thrust in and out, getting harder and faster until he blows his load. One up the bum, no harm done.

In the afterglow of this kinky bum sex, one hobo will then ask "spare some change" and the other will invariably reply "get a job, you bum".

Not to be confused with kinky butt sex, which involves perverted sexual acts performed on chain smokers while they're puffing away, using the dying butt of one cigarette to light the next.

Unable to deal with the City's ongoing housing problems, our fearless municipal leaders have brought in marketers to promote homelessness as a valid lifestyle choice. They're not "homeless people", they're "people experiencing homelessness" and their lifestyle promoted as one of kinky bum sex as people experiencing homelessness will do anything to keep warm.

kinky bum sex by bitchuck October 23, 2023

drop the soap 

An utterly hilarious Bob Rivers song parody of "Rock the Boat" (1973) by The Hues Corporation.

And no, it's all an urban legend. It's perfectly safe to drop the soap in the prison showers. It's just not safe to pick up the soap after... the jail showers are disgusting and you really don't want to know what's down there.

Ever since this prison term began
My tush has lived in fear of some big hairy man
And I'm nervous hanging out with these thugs and thieves
They're looking for a quiet place to corner me

I hope that I get out on probation
Before someone in that washroom gives me love deviation

So I'd like to know if
You get the notion
If I touch my toes will
You get the lotion
And I'd like to know when
You make a motion
And I'd like the guard to
Hear the commotion

Drop the soap
Don't drop the soap baby
Drop the soap
Not safe to bend over
Drop the soap
Don't tap my butt, bubba
Drop the soap...

drop the soap by bitchuck October 22, 2023

Sleazy PC 

A clone of the IBM PC/XT manufactured in the mid-1980's by the (now-defunct) Zenith Radio Corporation. Branded as "Easy PC", these were marketed by the university to students because they were slightly cheaper than standard PC clones. Unfortunately, any cost advantage was more than made up for by their lack of expandability - making them an inferior product which quickly earned the "Sleazy PC" moniker.

Zenith Radio Corporation of Chicago went bankrupt (Chapter 11) in 1999, with whatever was left of the assets going to the Lucky Goldstar (LG) of Korea. Zenith's history goes back to the early days of ttelevision, where the slogan was unofficially "the junk goes in before tha name goes on". Zenith bought the (also now-defunct) Heathkit and made a brief foray into computing in the 1980's, which led to rubbish like the Sleazy PC.

Sleazy PC by bitchuck October 22, 2023

the second-oldest profession

Engineering.

The various religious texts record that in the beginning there was chaos, from which a God created the heavens and earth. That's a feat of engineering. God also said "let there be light" and there was light - a task which now universally falls to the electrical engineer.

But why, then, is engineering only the second-oldest profession? The oldest profession is lawyer. Who do you think created all of that chaos?

the second-oldest profession by bitchuck September 30, 2023

Victoria's Secret

Victoria's Secret is some incredibly awkward fact that would publicly humiliate Victoria or irreparably harm her business were it revealed.

Victoria's secret is that no one over thirty fits into her stuff.

Victoria's Secret by bitchuck September 28, 2023