Definitions by benny b from the bronx
last call Lothario
A drunk who is shy until last call, at which point he'll try to hook up with anything that has a pulse and/or booze at home.
Bruce Lee: Damn, that quiet motherfucker is suddenly talking to all the transients, that is disgusting.
Jose Contreras: He's just a last call Lothario, typical bullshit.
Jose Contreras: He's just a last call Lothario, typical bullshit.
last call Lothario by benny b from the bronx August 21, 2007
roadside olympics
Jose Contreras: Thank God I passed that shit, I hardly even remember taking it.
Bruce Lee: Roadside olympics baby.
Bruce Lee: Roadside olympics baby.
roadside olympics by benny b from the bronx August 21, 2007
tile-faced
tile-faced by benny b from the bronx August 21, 2007
whiskey under the bridge
Jose Contreras: I know, I know, the last time we went to Fleet I embarassed the fuck out of myself..
Bruce Lee: No worries, that's whiskey under the bridge motherfucker.
Bruce Lee: No worries, that's whiskey under the bridge motherfucker.
whiskey under the bridge by benny b from the bronx August 21, 2007
cumburping gutterslut
Essentially, a promiscuous female of massive, shocking, unheard of proportions. Her breath consistently stinks of dick snot, a substance whose stench does not age well. That is one of many reasons why these beasts existence is so perplexing. Who allows them to defile their sacred anatomy? I personally enjoy referring to inferior prudish women as cumburping guttersluts since it undoubtedly causes them great confusion, a gaping mouth and an urge to slap you. These factors usually provide for phenomenal comedy.
Jose Contreras: How does the prostitute look across the street?
Bruce Lee: What the cumburping gutterslut? She looks like she started meth at age 7 and lost her teeth to a gang of horny Hell's Angels.
Bruce Lee: What the cumburping gutterslut? She looks like she started meth at age 7 and lost her teeth to a gang of horny Hell's Angels.
cumburping gutterslut by benny b from the bronx August 20, 2007
Ignatius Reilly
The central character of John Kennedy Toole's pulitzer prize winning novel A Confederacy of Dunces.
In his 30s, Ignatius still lives with his innocent, old, alcoholic of a mother. Despite his immense education and former profession as a university professor, our protagonist had no patience for his students' inferior minds.
He could be described as an oafish genius prone to fantastic levels of delusion. His epic viewpoint on even the most trivial of things makes it difficult to sustain a steady job. Ignatius has a particular interest in his disdain for pop culture, and modernity in general. In fact, Reilly goes to such great lengths to revel in this disdain that he will, for example, attend the movie theater just to fiercely ridicule the lesser films.
Easily rivals Patrick Bateman as the most unintentionally humorous fictional character of all time.
In his 30s, Ignatius still lives with his innocent, old, alcoholic of a mother. Despite his immense education and former profession as a university professor, our protagonist had no patience for his students' inferior minds.
He could be described as an oafish genius prone to fantastic levels of delusion. His epic viewpoint on even the most trivial of things makes it difficult to sustain a steady job. Ignatius has a particular interest in his disdain for pop culture, and modernity in general. In fact, Reilly goes to such great lengths to revel in this disdain that he will, for example, attend the movie theater just to fiercely ridicule the lesser films.
Easily rivals Patrick Bateman as the most unintentionally humorous fictional character of all time.
Bruce Lee: Who is more unintentionally funny, the infamous Patrick Bateman or the immortal Ignatius Reilly?
Jose Contreras: They're both gut wrenchingly hilarious. Ignatius is loveable despite his ridiculousness, Bateman is despicable but awesome from a birds eye view. Both are pretty far removed from reality in one way or another, but Ignatius is a far more interesting character though American Psycho's satire is more pointed and effective.
Bruce Lee: Would you shut the fuck up?
Jose Contreras: They're both gut wrenchingly hilarious. Ignatius is loveable despite his ridiculousness, Bateman is despicable but awesome from a birds eye view. Both are pretty far removed from reality in one way or another, but Ignatius is a far more interesting character though American Psycho's satire is more pointed and effective.
Bruce Lee: Would you shut the fuck up?
Ignatius Reilly by benny b from the bronx August 20, 2007
jizzwizard
A person (usually male) with alarming proficiency in all things jizz-related. Since this insult will usually be interpreted as considerably homophobic, you may want to avoid using it in the vicinity of furious flamingos. I find it to be more effective as an adjective, which also conveniently takes some emphasis off of the ever-so taboo gay bashing aspect. A perfect example of a jizzwizard candidate would be one of your poor (aka not rich) friends resorting to acting as a beer queer in order to satisfy his alcoholism. The act itself is not what deserves the ridicule, but the pathetic nature of his financial status. If we've learned anything from the wise Patrick Bateman, it's that poor people require considerable derision. (I hope people take that last tangent seriously.)
Jose Contreras: You cock worshipping jizzwizard! Stop touching my radio!
Bruce Lee: (stares a hole into Contreras' skull) Wow, homophobes are awesome.
Jose Contreras: ...I'm sorry, you can have my radio?
Bruce Lee: (stares a hole into Contreras' skull) Wow, homophobes are awesome.
Jose Contreras: ...I'm sorry, you can have my radio?
jizzwizard by benny b from the bronx August 20, 2007