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ayyfron's definitions

resume blindness

When somebody's impressive credentials cause other people to overlook their negative qualities.
I can't believed that he screwed his new girlfriend in my bed. He hadn't even broken up with me.

Really? Everyone wondered what you were doing with such a narcissistic asshole. Plus he was a cokehead. What did you see in him?

Well, we went to a good prep school and to an ivy league business school and worked for a prestigious investment bank on Wall Street. I never imagined that somebody like that could be so insensitive and cruel.

Hon, you are suffering from resume blindness. He's a jerk and an emotional midget. Get over him.
by AYYFRON July 5, 2010
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wardrobe therapist

an individual who specializes in healing people's wardrobes by surgically removing poor fashion choices and replacing offending items with more flattering/appropriate attire
Look, it's Cher! She desperately needs help. Please call the wardrobe therapist pronto.

After years of flushing money down the toilet at her shrink's office, schlumpy Cathy finally hired a wardrobe therapist. Now she is happily married, has three children, a dog and a cat as well as a six figure income.
by ayyfron August 6, 2010
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Door charge

The $20 minimum that one seems to spend each time one leaves one's front door.
John: Hey Joe, it's a beautiful day, why don't we go out and do something?

Joe: Can't. Don't want to pay the door charge.
by AYYFRON July 27, 2010
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fuck product

n- any animal life form, including human beings, that was brought into being as the result of sexual intercourse.
During his second semester biology course Johnny, in a moment of epiphany, realized the meaning of life. He began yelling, "We are all fuck product! FUCK PRODUCT! All of us! Everything outside of plants, fungi and single cell organisms that multiply by dividing --all the rest of us, we are fuck product!!!" He had to be subdued with tasers by campus security and taken in for inpatient psychological care.

On the first day of class, buses pulled up in front of the local elementary school full of fuck product.

The mother lynx ate away the umbilical cords and licked clean her newborn fuck product.

Dan's baby tank is pregnant with her fourth helping of fuck product.
by AYYFRON September 30, 2009
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sympathy cold

A mild illness that one contracts or develops following the passing of a loved one.
Crap. Uncle Tim died. That means I'll get a sympathy cold that will last for weeks.
by AYYFRON April 1, 2011
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shoilette

a combination of a shower and a toilette often in bathrooms without a clear separation between the two.
Kathy thought that her shoilette was very convenient as a place to shave her legs. Plus you never know when you might need to go.
by ayyfron September 1, 2011
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Baby Tank

A woman, often a homemaker, whose main purpose is to reproduce on behalf of her husband or boyfriend.
I saw that Saudi man again shopping at Harrods with his four baby tanks today, each one wrapped up in their bed sheets and looking like they were about to pop.
by AYYFRON September 29, 2009
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