Backdoor Pirate

noun:
1. A pirate whose prefered method of pillaging is through the backdoor.

2. Someone who engages in the giving of anal sex.

3. A common name for a hypothetical work of homosexual pornography, yet there is no evidence of something with the words "Backdoor Pirate" ever existing in the pornographic world.
#1:
Rodion: "I am a backdoor pirate."

Sarah: "Eeek!"

#2:
Joey: "Ahahahah I bet your dad stared in Backdoor Pirates 7!"

Rodion: "You fucktard! There's no such thing!"
by Argonak April 12, 2008
mugGet the Backdoor Piratemug.

barbed surprise

When prior to sexual intercourse (more often non-consensual then consensual)a man wraps his man meat in barbed or razor wire.

This inflicts massive damage to the orfices that the perpetrator decides to defile with his god rod.
"My penis hurts so much after I gave Joseph a barbed surprise...but it was worth it."
by Argonak April 15, 2008
mugGet the barbed surprisemug.

slipmeister

noun:

1. Literaly, a master of slipping. However, most often not associated with the act of slipping and falling, but rather the act of "slipping in" or "sneaking around".
The class had started 5 minutes ago, but Mr.Khoruzhenko slips into class undetected by the teacher.

A student whispers: "What a slipmeister..."
by Argonak April 11, 2008
mugGet the slipmeistermug.

Brazen Bull

A particularly nasty torture/execution device.

A hollow bull is cast entirely out of brass with a door on the side. After the condemed was placed inside, the door was closed and a fire was set underneath the bull. This caused the bottom of the bull to become "red-hot" and thus burning/roasting the victim.

The head of the ox was designed with a complex system of tubes and stops so that the prisoner's screams were converted into sounds like the bellowing of an infuriated bull.
Combine the horrors of claustraphobia, suffocation, and burning at the stake, and you have the brazen bull. This is some fucked up shit.
by Argonak April 12, 2008
mugGet the Brazen Bullmug.

piss battle

A piss battle can be one of several types of piss oriented competition.

1. The contestants simply see who pisses farther...or pisses more. AKA a pissing contest.

2. The two contenders attach their urinary tracts via some form of tube with the use of a waterproofing substance and a glue of some sort. The two people proceed to drink a defined amount of a liquid (say one gallon per person or something of the sort)...then the waiting begins.

The two people then begin to piss. As the urge to urinate increases an epic piss battle begins to ensue. The golden liquid will then be pushed between the two people until eventually one of the combatant's bladders bursts. (More liquid may be ingested by combatants if a stalemate ensues or if not enough liquid is present for a bladder bursting...or surrender.)

History: Piss battles have been an effective way of testing the manhood of males for centuries. Since the prowess in battle is directly linked to the genitals of the combatant, the winner is said to be more sexually potent then the loser.
Piss battles rarely end with death as it takes a surprising amount of pressure to burst the bladder. The ones that DO end in death are particularly heinous. The victim will endure crippling pain and if untreated immediately setpic shock.

Piss battles are known to cause cancer in the state of California.
by Argonak April 13, 2008
mugGet the piss battlemug.

chicken tenders

noun:
1. Delicious chicken dish involving a slab of boneless chicken which is dipped and fried.

2. A term which can describe any body part that the speaker chooses.

3. Can really be substituted for any noun that the speaker chooses...if they want to make it akward.
Fatty: "I like chicken tenders"

Pedophile: "I have chicken tenders in my basement..."

Robber: "You will put the chicken tenders in the bag!"

Druggie: "So...you got any chicken tenders?"

Drug Dealer: "You want some...chicken tenders?"
by Argonak April 12, 2008
mugGet the chicken tendersmug.

backdoor sledgehammer

This can mean many things, all of which are (as the name implies) destructive to the recipient's anal opening.

Noun: Something which is used to inflict massive anal damage (broomhandle, monster dildo, armadillo, shoe, etc.)
Noun: The actual technique of using a tool (as described above) to pound the victim's anal opening into submission.
"After being tied down to prevent escape, the man was given a thorough backdoor sledgehammer."

"I will use this lampshade as a backdoor sledgehammer if you come near my house again."
by Argonak October 11, 2008
mugGet the backdoor sledgehammermug.