al-in-chgo's definitions

The Valley

Abandoned prison restroom with long trough-style urinal off a low-traffic area, as described in John Cheever's 1977 novel FALCONER. To quote the author, this is where the inmates went after dinner "to fuck themselves." Themselves but not each other -- there were unwritten rules. Looking at other penises was okay, but not into another man's eyes. Touching another man was not allowed, except for the shoulder. A grim place, not gay by any definition, and certainly not the fantasy one-for-all tearoom scenes depicted in gay porn videos.

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Since The Valley in Cheever's award-winning novel Falconer was located on an upper floor, the origin of its name was obscure. Perhaps the name was coined to reference the trench- or trough-shaped nature of the elderly urinal itself.

-- "Where's Harry?"

-- "He went to The Valley after dinner."

-- 'When do you think he'll be back in our wing?"

-- "As late as possible, if I know Harry."

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by al-in-chgo February 25, 2010

Verschlusspanik

Verschlusspanik (fair-SCHLOOSE-pah-neek) is a German word that literally means "closing panic." It refers to the rush of new investors (and new capital) into consumer investments like mutual funds that occurs when the sponsoring financial house announces that its fund will no longer accept new accounts beyond a certain date. That "last-minute" stampede is due to Verschlusspanik on the part of potential investors who do not want to be shut out of the fund.

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"Go figure -- Fund XYZ announces that it won't open any new accounts past the end of this month, and all of a sudden there's a huge influx of new investors and their money."

"That's called 'Verschlusspanik'. It often happens when there's a deadline for new accounts imposed."

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by al-in-chgo March 24, 2010

hissy fit

A sudden but violent outburst of a person shouting, screaming recriminations and (possibly) wailing, generally short-lived but shocking.

"Hissy fit" used to describe an adult tantrum but now has become an equal opportunity description, young or old, male or female. What they all have in common is no matter how severe the (alleged) offense, there is always some wounded pride involved, and usually an audience of bystanders along with the culprit who allegedly triggered the hissy.

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-- "When I told Sarah she couldn't have the doll, she broke down and pitched a major hissy fit. Right there in the toy department at Target!"

--"So when Joe got fired, all he did was throw a hissy fit out in the hall? Terrible. REAL men used to slug each other."

--"She freaked! She had a hissy! She thinks you're the cat's meow." 'Farmer Ted' (Anthony Michael Hall) in movie SIXTEEN CANDLES (1984), describing the Molly Ringwald character's sudden infatuation with a boy two years her senior.

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by al-in-chgo February 25, 2010

virgule

Typesetter's name for a "regular" (pre-computer-era) slash mark (/) that associates related terms. On computer QWERTY keyboards, commonly found to the right of the key for a period. The virgule key + shift indicates a question mark.

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Here's one use of the virgule: Most of the audience found the play racy/dirty, not just racy.

by al-in-chgo March 3, 2010

jackoff buddy

A friend who helps you with mutual masturbation, usually male-on-male.

A jackoff buddy promises a more limited repertoire than a fuck buddy.

by al-in-chgo August 4, 2012

Wingnut Welfare Queen

Popularized by the blog Sadly, No, the term "Wingnut Welfare Queen" refers not to a poor person, but to a low-talent, self-appointed pundit of the right, male or female, of the type who have become prominent in large patches of media, Washington D.C. think tanks and the Republican Party, and who depend on some mix of right-wing money, praise or contacts to boost and further their careers. Putting the "wingnut" in Wingnut Welfare Queen means the media figure will be not just predictably or reliably conservative or ultra-conservative, but doggedly and irrationally so.

Many Wingnut Welfare Queens style themselves "Populists"; nonetheless, some some appear to take relish in the abrasiveness and ad hominem quality of their attacks on individuals they perceive as not necessarily contrary in ideology, but lacking in fervor.

A Wingnut Welfare Queen's natural adversaries inhabit the best-recompensed strata of left-wing academia and the leftmost edge of the Democratic Party, with some holdouts on the op-ed pages of liberal metropolitan daily newspapers; they are the upper-tier of the class called Poverty Pimp (q.v.), code-word "Progressive."

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"What I dislike most of all is not her meretriciousness or meanness, but the way she acts as though she were God's Gift to American politics."

--

"Yep. Follow her career and you'll see how a gossipy media princess with a right-wing tilt became a full-blown wingnut welfare queen."

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by al-in-chgo July 7, 2010

jackoff artist

A person (usually a man) who is good at masturbation, but since that rudimentary skill requires no particular training, it's usually used to mean someone who has no particular skills at anything beyond masturbation. An American way to designate a "wanker."

"Bob says he's an air-guitar artist."

"Bob is a jackoff artist at best. I'm not even sure he can perform air-guitar."

by al-in-chgo April 1, 2013