28 definitions by al benedict
Television shows or glossy magazines featuring real estate, automobiles, gadgets, boats or furniture of the type preferred by the stereotypical yuppie, even if they are not written or shot with the intention of selling the actual products. A derogatory spin on the stereotype that yuppies receive the same stimulation from material objects that non-yuppies do from sex. Yuppie porno or yuppie pornography can be used.
"Yuppie porn at the New York Times": Title of an article on salon.com about the New York Times' new real estate quarterly.
by al benedict November 12, 2006
Someone that is terribly, terribly offended at the very thought of being accused of being a NIMBY, but refuses on the grounds of "reasonable concerns" to allow any development in their area.
"OMG. The Traffic!"
"Been studied. It will be fine."
"OMG. The Sewage!"
"We're only using 1/3 of what we have."
"OMG! My view!"
"Of what? You won't even be able see it through your trees."
"Why are you being this way?"
"Because you're a total cryptonimby"
"Been studied. It will be fine."
"OMG. The Sewage!"
"We're only using 1/3 of what we have."
"OMG! My view!"
"Of what? You won't even be able see it through your trees."
"Why are you being this way?"
"Because you're a total cryptonimby"
by al benedict October 26, 2018
The only concession to safety that a motorcycle needs. Time was, you were expected to wear visible clothing and a helmet and drive predictably. Now it's OK to dress completely in black (no helmet) and pop in and out of lanes at will. As long as you have really loud, low pitched, non-directional exhaust noise.
Loud pipes endanger lives.
Loud pipes endanger lives.
"Boy, these loud pipes rock. Everybody takes their eyes off the road to figure out where the hell the racket is coming from and get into massive pileups. Then I just drive around the mess."
by al benedict June 5, 2013
A computer system made secure by obviously containing nothing of interest. Never a protection against pranksters, in the age of Zombie Spammers, this concept is mostly obsolete.
I protected Mom's computer by installing Windows 98 on it and putting up a thick firewall of bundt cake recipes. True Security by Banality.
by al benedict April 9, 2008
Driving a car with a small child in your lap. In the event of an accident, the child's body will help protect you from injury by cushioning the blow between yourself and the steering wheel.
Bob: Should you be talking on your cellphone while you're driving?
Bill: Relax, I'm Airbagging with the kid. Even if I hit something, I'll be fine.
Bill: Relax, I'm Airbagging with the kid. Even if I hit something, I'll be fine.
by al benedict April 15, 2008
When your email address is chosen as the lucky winner in the contest held by a spammer to determine which email address will be used for the day's, ahem, First Amendment protected free commercial speech. The end results is hundreds if not thousands of bounced messages.
by al benedict August 6, 2008
by al benedict June 21, 2012