A surreal figure who appears precisely when things go wrong, not to help, but to narrate the chaos with theatrical flair with a suspiciously wet sandwich in his pocket.
The CalamityMan doesn’t solve problems. He magnifies them. He arrives uninvited, wearing a trench coat made of expired insurance policies, and speaks only in riddles, screams, and outdated Latin proverbs.
He gives the illusion of action, like pointing at things, whispering to walls, licking envelopes ...but ultimately contributes nothing except confusion and a faint smell of licorice.
The CalamityMan doesn’t solve problems. He magnifies them. He arrives uninvited, wearing a trench coat made of expired insurance policies, and speaks only in riddles, screams, and outdated Latin proverbs.
He gives the illusion of action, like pointing at things, whispering to walls, licking envelopes ...but ultimately contributes nothing except confusion and a faint smell of licorice.
“Everything was fine until the printer exploded and the CalamityMan showed up with a kazoo and a bucket of mayonnaise.”
“We thought the Wi-Fi was down, but it was just slow. Still, the CalamityMan came and performed a silent interpretive dance in the hallway.”
“We thought the Wi-Fi was down, but it was just slow. Still, the CalamityMan came and performed a silent interpretive dance in the hallway.”
by Zeverkieken September 16, 2025
Get the CalamityManmug. There is no definition.
This is really one of those cases where even urban dictionary doesn't know. The user tried to use fancy words, but he/she just plain failed.
Call it a linguistic faceplant.
This is really one of those cases where even urban dictionary doesn't know. The user tried to use fancy words, but he/she just plain failed.
Call it a linguistic faceplant.
by Zeverkieken September 16, 2019
Get the propolagandamug. A conept is an implicit handover of responsibility, analysis and implementation.
Whenever someone is asked to create a conept for a vague idea.
What is actually meant is to implicitly handover any hard decisions (functional and technical) from the asking party to the employee that will be creating the conept.
For the requesting party, a finished conept is to be considered as the fruit of all powerpoints presented to upper management, leading up to the point of the delegation of the creation of the conept.
After a demo of a conept, the conept will then be functionally reverse engineered so that it looks like that the initial requirements had always been describing exactly what the conept does up until that point.
Whenever that happens, the conept will be used to extrapolate a roadmap for future similar conepts for the next 10 years with hard-limits on estimated mandays.
Whenever someone is asked to create a conept for a vague idea.
What is actually meant is to implicitly handover any hard decisions (functional and technical) from the asking party to the employee that will be creating the conept.
For the requesting party, a finished conept is to be considered as the fruit of all powerpoints presented to upper management, leading up to the point of the delegation of the creation of the conept.
After a demo of a conept, the conept will then be functionally reverse engineered so that it looks like that the initial requirements had always been describing exactly what the conept does up until that point.
Whenever that happens, the conept will be used to extrapolate a roadmap for future similar conepts for the next 10 years with hard-limits on estimated mandays.
We're trusting you to create a conept for the roadmap we've described for this product. (phrase used publicly)
Thanks to the conept, we've now figured out what we actually meant with this 'technical uplift'. (phrase not used publicly)
Thanks to the conept, we've now figured out what we actually meant with this 'technical uplift'. (phrase not used publicly)
by Zeverkieken July 11, 2019
Get the coneptmug. Mysterious beings who possess the uncanny talent of imparting knowledge directly into the minds of others through paranormal means, bypassing the need for traditional communication.
The term comes from a delightful blend of "Para" (from "Paranormal") and "Menti" (mind), referring to individuals with the extraordinary ability to telepathically educate others.
The term comes from a delightful blend of "Para" (from "Paranormal") and "Menti" (mind), referring to individuals with the extraordinary ability to telepathically educate others.
"No {insert subject} was found with the given paramenters," the researcher sighed, realizing that even the telepathic mentors couldn't locate anything valuable for that specific {subject}.
by Zeverkieken July 14, 2025
Get the Paramentersmug.