Your lord and savior's definitions

AC/DC

Masters of three-chord rock.

Seriously, AC/DC fucking blows. Their lyrics suck, and both Bon Scott and Brian Johnson sound like 80 year olds who've smoked all their lives.

by your Lord and Savior September 1, 2007

Rod Stewart

A pop rock singer. Getting up there, with hits like the awesome Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? and Sailing. Got his big break as singer for guitar legend Jeff Beck in 1968, in one of the world's first true hard rock bands (the Jeff Beck Group), which came out six months before Led Zeppelin, which the inside flap of their albums cannot state enough. After they broke up after two mediocre albums he devoted himself to pop and managed a successful solo career.

Rod Stewart, while awesome, is just about the biggest wanker who ever lived.

by your Lord and Savior September 3, 2007

vegan

Someone with BALLS. I mean, for real, can you imagine making that kind of sacrifice for your principles? JESUS!

I'm a vegetarian, which is cool, and I still nearly have to change underwear after watching Taco Bell commercials. I can't imagine being a vegan.

by your Lord and Savior September 1, 2007

Allman Brothers

The REAL greatest southern rock band of all time. The Allman Brothers were a blues-rock band from Macon, Georgia. There were actually only two real "Allman brothers" in the band, Duane (the 2nd greatest guitarist of all time, according to Rolling Stone), and Gregg, who played organ. The other members were lead guitarist Dickey Betts, bassist Berry Oakley, and drummers Butch Trucks and Jaimoe Johanson. Sadly, Duane Allman was killed in a motorcycle accident in 1971, and Berry Oakley met the same fate just a year later. The remaining members stumbled along until the early '80s, when they dissolved due to infighting and drug abuse. They reunited with several new members in 1989, and continue to tour. In 2000, Dickey Betts was fired because of his alcoholism, and the band has continued without him.

Seriously, Lynyrd Skynyrd is great, but they are far from the greatest southern rock band of all time. The Allman Brothers invented the genre, and they're still the best.

by your Lord and Savior October 23, 2007

Shark Episode

A controversy involving the rock band Led Zeppelin, when, in 1969, at the Edgewater Inn in Seattle, they banged a groupie with a red snapper.

The Shark Episode: "It wasn't shark parts anyway: It was the nose that got put in. We caught a lot of big sharks, at least two dozen, stuck coat hangers through the gills and left 'em in the closet . . . But the true shark story was that it wasn't even a shark. It was a red snapper and the chick happened to be a fucking redheaded broad with a ginger pussy. And that is the truth. Bonzo was in the room, but I did it. Mark Stein (of Vanilla Fudge) filmed the whole thing. And she loved it. It was like, "You'd like a bit of fucking, eh? Let's see how your red snapper likes this red snapper!" That was it. It was the nose of the fish, and that girl must have cum 20 times. But it was nothing malicious or harmful, no way! No one was ever hurt." -Richard Cole, Led Zeppelin tour manager

Damn, that's hot.

by your Lord and Savior September 1, 2007

tollefsen

Tollefsen means ginger in Ukrainian and is the most offensive insult ever existing in Ukrainian history. Tollefsen is often used by Ukrainians to offend the pro-russian movement.

Although, Tollefsen is originally a Norwegian surname, and means tampon.

Famous sentences:
"Oh my God, here comes the Tollefsens... GET TO ARMS!" - Ukrainian soldiers
"Yesterday my menstruation was so heavy, I had to change my Tollefsen like all the time" - Girl

by Your lord and savior February 12, 2015

San Francisco

An awesome place. Contains a vibrant gay community, an incredibly fucked-up climate, and amazing restaurants. Where it's impossible to get bored.

I was going to take the ferry to the Gay Pride Parade (seriously, how hilarious is that?), but it was full, so we drove. I froze my ass off in the middle of summer. That's San Francisco for ya.

by your Lord and Savior September 1, 2007