Yet Another Josh Cohen's definitions

fuckerware party

A party, usually attended by women or couples (but almost never just by men, and single men are almost never invited unless they're of the homosexual occasion). It is held at one person's house. That person may or may not be the host. Whomever the host actually is will come to the party with several large plastic bins filled with sex toys, lingerie, lubricants, and oils.

Kind of like a Pampered Chef, Tastefully Simple, or Tupperware party.

Ever since my wife came home with all that stuff from the fuckerware party, she hasn't had sex with me.

by Yet Another Josh Cohen April 12, 2006

suicide lane

A lane on a roadway that, depending upon the time of day, changes direction of travel. Sometimes, as in Snellville, Georgia, the direction of travel is noted by an electric sign every 200 feet hanging across the highway. Other times, as in parts of Maryland, there is nothing but a sign.

Example:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |

From 5am to noon, lanes 1, 2, 3, and 4 are Southbound, lane 5 is a turn lane, and lanes 6 and 7 are Northbound. From noon to 8pm, lanes 1 and 2 are Southbound, lane 3 is a turn lane, and lanes 4 through 7 are Northbound.

The suicide lanes on 78 always creep me out just a bit.

by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 28, 2005

poop friend

A friend you're close enough to that you can talk about poop -- having to poop, the smell of it, that you just fired off a big one, that sort of thing. Very valuable.

"Ugh, I still feel like crap. I fired one off 10 minutes ago and it didn't help."
'What, a poop?'
"Yeah... we're poop friends, right? I can tell you that, right?"
'Uhh... yes?'

by Yet Another Josh Cohen October 30, 2007

yogurt spooge

The spray of yogurt drops that flies out and gets all over your desk or clothes when you open a container of yogurt.

Tracy: Ugh, dude, what's that white stuff all over your shirt?

Mike: That's yogurt spooge. Want some? (offers spoon)

by Yet Another Josh Cohen March 17, 2009

ass-to-pants ratio

The percentage number that indicates how nice someone's ass looks inside their pants, shorts, bathing suit, skirt, dress, or underwear. The closer to 100%, the better that ass looks. May be abbreviated as ATP.

"Denise always buys the pants that make her butt look perfect. Every day, she's got a 100% ass-to-pants ratio."

by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 9, 2007

standard cycle

The graphable curve by which men can measure the frequency with which they receive blowjobs over the lifetime of a relationship.

If x=days spent in relationship and y=number of blowjobs-per-month, then as x increases, y decreases. The curve usually looks like the positive side of a hyperbolic graph, starting with y being very high and eventually reaching somewhere between 0 and 1, actually hitting zero if the relationship is in the marriage phase.

Dude 1: I used to get a lot of blowjobs, but they tapered off and eventually stopped happening. The standard cycle.

Dude 2: My standard cycle is a straight line that never goes above one.

Dude 1: Your wife sucks.

Dude 2: No, she doesn't, and that's the problem.

by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 4, 2009

prius tetris

When driving a Prius, you can view a bar-graph of your fuel consumption over the past 30 minutes. A "prius tetris" is when you go five consecutive minutes (or more) at 99.9 miles per gallon. This shows on your bar-graph as a long, straight bar, similar to the four-high bars in Tetris.

No wonder you don't need any gas! You're always getting a prius tetris!

by Yet Another Josh Cohen March 10, 2009