urban myth

A bit of folklore widely beleived to be real but that never actually happened.

Examples:

The Babe Ruth "called shot" at Wrigley Field where he pointed to the centerfield scoreboard and then hit the next pitch there.

Zsa Zsa Gabor was on the Johnny Carson show with a cat on her lap and said 'Johnny, vood you like to pet my poo-see?'
To which he replied 'Sure, move the cat.'

Arnold Palmer's wife was on the Carson show and said that before every tournament, 'I kiss his (golf) balls for good luck,' and Johnny said, 'well I'll bet that makes his putter stand up.'

Richard Gere once went to an emergency room to have a gerbil removed from his ass.

Rod Stewart once had to have his stomach pumped due to swallowing an excessive amount of semen

Keith Richards went to Switzerland to have his blood replaced with new blood as an attempt to kick heroin

Jim Morrison flashed his dick at a concert in Miami

Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a live bat

Wilt Chamberlain fucked over 20,000 women
Most urban myths are bullshit
by Woody Thomas January 02, 2009
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Kansas City Shitty

Term used by Midwesteners back in the 70s, referring to locally grown marijuana, which then was highly inferior in quality. Any "domestic" weed would only be acquired as a last resort if no Mexican was available.
I smoked some of that Kansas City Shitty and all I got was a headache and a sore throat.
by Woody Thomas July 25, 2008
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sailor's handkerchief

when you blow snot out of your nose onto the ground because you don't have a kleenex or hanky to use.
The cold air made my nose run, so I did a sailor's handkerchief on the street.
by Woody Thomas September 13, 2008
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dry as a powderhorn

Having no beer or other alcoholic beverages in one's possession
Tom: 'hey man, you got any beer at your place?'
Mike: 'uh-uh brother, I'm fuckin' dry as a powderhorn.'
by Woody Thomas July 29, 2008
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the toilet dream

a dream where you are on the toilet taking a dump, and the toilet is somewhere in a public place, surrounded by a crowd of people, like in a shopping mall for example.

I have dreamed of sitting on a toilet that was:

on the side of a busy highway

on the side of a beachfront hotel in Florida (at least the

toilet was facing the beach, so I had an ocean view)

In a restroom, but the restroom was open at both ends

and throngs of people were walking through, and there

was no stall, just a toilet

etc etc

In my toilet dreams, I usually casually converse with

passers-by as I sit on the toilet
I had the toilet dream again last night, and I was waiting for people to go away so I could wipe my ass, but they wouldn't go away
by Woody Thomas January 03, 2010
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True Romance

An average movie, ridiculously violent, but the Christopher Walken\Dennis Hopper exchange is worth the price of admission itself.
When True Romance is on cable, I watch the legendary scene where Hopper gives Walken a history lesson on Sicilians and then turn it off
by Woody Thomas September 16, 2008
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belly bomber

What St. Louisans affectionately call a White Castle hamburger. Also known as sliders or rectum wreckers.
We went to Whitey's and got a sack of belly bombers around four in the morning.
by Woody Thomas January 07, 2006
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