WatcherMark's definitions

Pause Button OCD

This is the game given to the habit of some people of pausing TV shows or films mid-flow in order to read text that is displayed on screen.

This phenomenon wasn't very common a couple of decades ago, but the ability to pause a TV show or film and retain crystal clear quality has caused the occurrences of this to rise in number. Often the people pausing the screen will pause in the hopes of learning some extra information about what's going on or maybe see some inside jokes. While sometimes they are right, more often than not the information will add nothing to the experience.

Can be very annoying for people who just want to watch the show.

"At least if she has Pause Button OCD it means you can run to the toilet while she reads it"

by WatcherMark September 23, 2020

Walking in on yourself

A term used to describe when a person suddenly realises what a mistake probably making by asking "What are you doing?" to themselves as if they'd just walked in to witness themselves acting this way.

Tim: I just had a moment of clarity, you know, I woke up. It's like... you know when you have an orgasm on your own? You know, you're sort of lying on the sofa watching some porn movie you bought on a drunken lonely night in Soho, and you're lying there and everything's going really great, you're getting totally turned on by these absurdly graphic images, everything seems so right, and suddenly - phht! Bingo! You wake up. And you're lying there sweating, desperately looking for the tissue which you know is still in your pocket, and the remote control which is somewhere on the floor, and it's like walking in on yourself, you know? It's just like "What're you doing?" That's how I felt tonight feeling my heart miss a beat everytime the door opened. "What the fuck are you doing?"

by WatcherMark January 14, 2019

yoko ono syndrome

Yoko Ono Symdrome is used to describe when someone chooses to hate and vilify another person for the crime of dating a celebrity they find attractive, regardless of the massive odds of that person ever getting together with said celebrity themselves. Typically occurs to fans of teenage boybands.

The term comes from the massive hate Yoko Ono received from female fans of the Beatles following her relationship and marriage to John Lennon.

"I'm worried about my daughter, she keeps writing blog posts about how she hates anyone dating Harry Styles because she wants him for herself. I think she has Yoko Ono Syndrome."

by WatcherMark August 2, 2016

Silent retreat

You've had a night out, you got drunk and went home with someone to their place. Sex was had and you went to sleep happy, satisfied and wasted.

You wake up the next day and suddenly realise what you did. Full of regret (for whatever reason), you then try to make a silent retreat so last night's partner doesn't notice you leaving and ask any awkward questions (like "can I call you?")

Henry: It felt so right at the time, me and Sarah had this huge argument, this girl was all over me and pretty soon we're back at her place.

Eddie: Oh geez...
Henry: Yeah. I wake up next morning to find myself next to this complete stranger lying asleep and text messages from Sarah telling me how sorry she is.
Eddie: What did you do?
Henry: Make a silent retreat. Last thing I needed was her asking me for my number.

by WatcherMark May 23, 2019

Mansplaining

A term used to describe an instance where a man will attempt to explain something to a woman as if they're talking to a young child. In many cases, what the man is trying to explain is something which the woman already understands... or at least, has a better understanding of than the person who believes it is his duty to school her.

Fiona: Just the other day my boyfriend tried to explain to me the right way to cook and prepare dinner.
Jessica: But... you're a chef!
Fiona: I know, but that didn't matter to him. I had to listen to him mansplaining to me the right way to do it. From a guy who only knows how to nuke ready meals in the microwave.

by WatcherMark January 4, 2019

Schrodinger’s Pregnancy

When a woman takes two pregnancy tests with one coming up positive and the other negative. Until the woman can visit the doctor, she's both pregnant and not pregnant at the same time creating the comparison with Schrodinger’s Cat.

Kirsty: Great, two pregnancy tests with different results. I have Schrodinger’s Pregnancy here, baby and no baby at the same time.

by WatcherMark May 23, 2019

Dudebros

The collective name for a group of males who are known to respond extremely negatively to any media which depicts females (be they real or fictional) in any kind of authoritarian role, and will make their utter disgust known to everyone regardless of if they care or not. Their current habits include making angry YouTube videos on how Rey has destroyed Star Wars, insisting that GamerGate was about ethics in journalism and masturbating to a clip of Thanos punching Captain Marvel.

Strangely, they seem to think they're the good guys.

Alison: Oh great, my Twitter feed has become a dumpster fire thanks to a bunch of dudebros... again.

by WatcherMark August 24, 2019