Matthew, a friends opinion

usually Matthews are tall and cringe. his best friend is probably his female cousin. he gives all his money friends though and writes essays to people on their birthdays. when you meet a Matthew you will be unsure whether he is gay or not.
omg look. its matthew lets look up Matthew, a friends opinion on the urban dictionary
by Vladimir Gluten September 01, 2021
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Yoga Master Raj

the saviour of men, the living god, the preacher of yoga, the man, the myth, the legend. he is the bringer of yoga and healer of wounds. when you get put in jail, Yoga Master Raj is the shining light between sanction and insanity. he guides men through the most difficult of times. high schoolers pray to Yoga Master Raj to get good grades and pass their exams. when you are broke and homeless, the great Yoga Master provides yoga stretches to sustain you and warm you on cold nights.

when Jenisus Chrinst entered this world, he was clapped on the ass by the Yoga Master. when Thanos obtained the infinity shit it wasn't the avengers who stopped him. it was The Yoga Master. Hitler didn't suicide. he was clapped into oblivion by the Yoga Master. Luke Skywalker didn't blow up the death star. it was the Yoga Master. it was The Yoga Master. the Yoga Master built the great pyramids of Egypt. he created the theory of relativity. he threw the one ring into the fires of mount doom. he is more powerful than every human being on the planet. he gave life, yoga, salvation and hope to mankind.

when you see the Yoga Master and realise his great uniting powers you will convert to the holy religion of yoga. when his shining face appears before you he will inspire love and yoga stretches. The Master is the most divine and impeccable being to exist within the great universal planes of life and is the giver of sanity and holiness. if you have read this far the great Yoga Master is with you, always.
Jenry: come brother. let us pray for good times to the great Yoga Master Raj.
Joseph: yes brother. let us roll out our yoga mats and stretch our ass cheeks.
Jeroma: indeed good sirs. the Yoga Master brings salvation and love.
Judy: yes brothers. under the light of the Master, we are all one.
by Vladimir Gluten September 06, 2021
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Schnanderson

That one teacher in every school ever that doesn't give a shit and looks like an ogre. typically short and is annoyed about it. will give you a detention. will not give you an assignment extension.
ugh! i've got a class with a Schnanderson!
by Vladimir Gluten October 17, 2021
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Rick roulette

A dangerous game in which one man makes a playlist on Spotify containing one "never gonna give u up" by Rick astley and five other songs of choice. The men then put the playlist on shuffle play, pass the phone around and whoever gets rickrolled first is either kicked from the game or made to drink straight vodka until he has to go to the hospital for a stomach pump
"Bro u up for a game of rick roulette?"

"Nah man I'm not up for a stomach pump tonight"
by Vladimir Gluten June 27, 2021
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Nahtzee

Nahtzee was a popular world war 2 game that Jewish soldiers played. to score the highest, you must kill five guys named Hans in a row. the German armies retaliated with a game of their own called Gas Who.
'hey yo! I just killed five guys called Hans!'
'bro nice, that's a Nahtzee for sure!'
by Vladimir Gluten October 17, 2021
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Hobtroll

The one friend everyone knows they have who is really competitive and will tease/ make fun of people who they have beaten. When u try to stand up to them they will

A) break your spectacles if u wear them

B) call u trash and shit

C) boot a soccer ball at your face

If u have a hobtroll friend, remember this rhyme: hobtrolls suck, they are shit, if they beat you that is it, kick that hobtroll from your life, you should get a wife
Hobtroll: ha! U suck! Ur trash!
You: kick that hobtroll from ur life...
Hobtroll: what was that, bitch baby?
You: fuck you, hobtroll I'm out
Hobtroll: what the shit jus happened rn
You: *gets a wife*
by Vladimir Gluten June 27, 2021
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Vladimir Gluten

The most bready communist leader you will ever meet. Vladimir Gluten is very Russian, and he rides a bearguette to work every day. He worked together with Breaddie Mercury to create the single most destructive bagel in the known universe. The outcome of this project was to make loads of money selling the bagel to Kim Jong Bun to fire at Donald Grump on a nuclear power scale.

Mentioning Vladimir Gluten to a friend will instantly repel them from your friend group unless they are a legend
Human 1. Did u hear about the most destructive bagel in the known universe?
Human 2. Is this the mighty tale of Vladimir Gluten?
Human 3. I'm leaving this conversation.
by Vladimir Gluten June 27, 2021
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