Uncle Kurtie's definitions
It's when the chick is hot, but you question her hygiene!! You dont want her rubbing her dirty dick beaters on your junk. Instead you allow her to cup her hands and play catcher for your load of man milk. When you finish, you tell her to wash up and get the fuck out.
by Uncle Kurtie June 22, 2007
Get the mumms mug.Feminine protection for fat ass broads. It looks like a swamp cat-tail on steriods. Used specifically to "Tampoon" a fat bitch on her period.
by Uncle Kurtie November 13, 2006
Get the tampoons mug.You know when you're on the shitter, really gruntin' one out, spend 20 minutes hammerin' the commode, and when you've finished, there's only two little knobs of doo in the bowl.
by Uncle Kurtie November 16, 2006
Get the dispinchloafia mug.Its when youre three days out from your last nut shave, and the stubble causes a rash on your partners chin and ass cheeks.
Beth: Maggie, what happned to your face?
Maggie: That goddamn Chuck has a bad case of stubble nuts, it's killin me!
Beth: Lets go buy him some edge gel or somthin'!
Maggie: That goddamn Chuck has a bad case of stubble nuts, it's killin me!
Beth: Lets go buy him some edge gel or somthin'!
by Uncle Kurtie May 6, 2007
Get the STUBBLE NUTS mug.It's when you sling the cock back and forth across your significant others' face in a kind of slapping motion 4-5 times, then you take the hardwood and poke them in either eye while yelling "hey moe". Then get the hell out of there!
Chuck: Hey David, are you keepin' yer ol' lady in line?
Dave: Well, she started to act up, so I whipped out the lumber and gave her the "hey moe" and that fixed the problem!
Dave: Well, she started to act up, so I whipped out the lumber and gave her the "hey moe" and that fixed the problem!
by Uncle Kurtie April 12, 2007
Get the HEY MOE mug.A girl so big and nasty that there's no other term to describe her. Generally over 5'9", over 200 pounds and lacking in hygeine.
Dude, look at that heinous bush pig! I haven't seen one so rough since last week when you caught the clap!
by Uncle Kurtie November 9, 2006
Get the heinous bush pig mug.When your giant clam basher performs so well that your woman advertises to her friends causing your dance card to be full at all times.
She has a lot of little hottie girlfriends, so I gave her the all pro cock hammer! My phone hasn't stopped ringing !
by Uncle Kurtie October 28, 2006
Get the ALL PRO COCK HAMMER mug.