Uncle Kurtie's definitions

dispinchloafia

You know when you're on the shitter, really gruntin' one out, spend 20 minutes hammerin' the commode, and when you've finished, there's only two little knobs of doo in the bowl.

Dude, what took so long?

Sorry man, I have a bad case of "dispinchloafia" today.

by Uncle Kurtie November 16, 2006

mumms

It's when the chick is hot, but you question her hygiene!! You dont want her rubbing her dirty dick beaters on your junk. Instead you allow her to cup her hands and play catcher for your load of man milk. When you finish, you tell her to wash up and get the fuck out.

Chuck, she was so smelly, I could only let her do the mumms. Tell your sister to take a bath!

by Uncle Kurtie June 22, 2007

tampoons

Feminine protection for fat ass broads. It looks like a swamp cat-tail on steriods. Used specifically to "Tampoon" a fat bitch on her period.

That beast won't take a maxi-pad, she needs tampoons!

by Uncle Kurtie November 13, 2006

STUBBLE NUTS

Its when youre three days out from your last nut shave, and the stubble causes a rash on your partners chin and ass cheeks.

Beth: Maggie, what happned to your face?
Maggie: That goddamn Chuck has a bad case of stubble nuts, it's killin me!
Beth: Lets go buy him some edge gel or somthin'!

by Uncle Kurtie May 6, 2007

HEY MOE

It's when you sling the cock back and forth across your significant others' face in a kind of slapping motion 4-5 times, then you take the hardwood and poke them in either eye while yelling "hey moe". Then get the hell out of there!

Chuck: Hey David, are you keepin' yer ol' lady in line?
Dave: Well, she started to act up, so I whipped out the lumber and gave her the "hey moe" and that fixed the problem!

by Uncle Kurtie April 12, 2007

schmecho

It's the reverberating sound your nuts make against her ass when you're drilling your skank in a mens room stall.

Dude, you shoulda heard the schmecho tonite while I was bustin it with your sister in the can!

by Uncle Kurtie November 9, 2006

chum stick

It's when you've blown your load in her mouth and she's not quite finished with the chum. She begins rubbing the head of your unit across her lips like an over size chap stick, moaning for you to give her more!

Dude, she looked like she had dry lips, so I let her use my chum stick!!

by Uncle Kurtie June 22, 2007