Uncle Kurtie's definitions

mumms

It's when the chick is hot, but you question her hygiene!! You dont want her rubbing her dirty dick beaters on your junk. Instead you allow her to cup her hands and play catcher for your load of man milk. When you finish, you tell her to wash up and get the fuck out.

Chuck, she was so smelly, I could only let her do the mumms. Tell your sister to take a bath!

by Uncle Kurtie June 22, 2007

tampoons

Feminine protection for fat ass broads. It looks like a swamp cat-tail on steriods. Used specifically to "Tampoon" a fat bitch on her period.

That beast won't take a maxi-pad, she needs tampoons!

by Uncle Kurtie November 13, 2006

SKIM MILK TITTIES

Titties that look like two fried eggs nailed to a 2x4. More commonly referred to as " banana titties ". Generally found on women that you wouldn't fuck on a bet.

We were at the party, she took off her shirt and scared the shit out of the whole crowd with her gnarly skim milk titties.

by uncle kurtie November 14, 2006

boss hogans

Boss Hogans are simply put " perfect titties " You know, the right shape, the right nips, the right size, the right perk. Very hard to find, especially in a matched set.

Whoa Chuck, look at those Boss Hogans! They're awesome! Tell your little sister to get some new shirts, she's grown since last summer!

by Uncle Kurtie May 31, 2007

dispinchloafia

You know when you're on the shitter, really gruntin' one out, spend 20 minutes hammerin' the commode, and when you've finished, there's only two little knobs of doo in the bowl.

Dude, what took so long?

Sorry man, I have a bad case of "dispinchloafia" today.

by Uncle Kurtie November 16, 2006

ddt

A broad who is best described as a " Dirty, Dirty Tramp". She will hop on anything remotely phallic in shape, and generally is so eager that she has spooge stains on her t-shirt.

Man, that 'ho is such a ddt, looks like I'm gonna be the fourth one tonite!

by Uncle Kurtie November 9, 2006

HEY MOE

It's when you sling the cock back and forth across your significant others' face in a kind of slapping motion 4-5 times, then you take the hardwood and poke them in either eye while yelling "hey moe". Then get the hell out of there!

Chuck: Hey David, are you keepin' yer ol' lady in line?
Dave: Well, she started to act up, so I whipped out the lumber and gave her the "hey moe" and that fixed the problem!

by Uncle Kurtie April 12, 2007