Definitions by Uncle Joosie

taint team 

when a prosecutor needs to get between a prick and an asshole.

In order to preserve evidence integrity, Mueller used a taint team to execute a warrant against Michael Cohen—bringing him one step closer to a courtroom.

taint team by Uncle Joosie June 10, 2018

Stretch & Shake 

A body reset for a dog.

When Brady the lab got up from sleeping he did a stretch & shake to wake himself up.

Stretch & Shake by Uncle Joosie May 20, 2018

Amazon Grenade 

When an illegally installed president tells a lie and tanks a company's stock price.

Donald Trump launched a lie-filled Amazon Grenade that caused the company to lose market share and stock value overnight.

Amazon Grenade by Uncle Joosie May 20, 2018

HysteriCon 

a hysterical conservative.

Cletus the HysteriCon heard about a baker being forced to make a cake for a gay wedding and was so enraged that he camped outside the bakery with a gun; wrote a letter to the editor; and upvoted some nazi posts on Reddit.

HysteriCon by Uncle Joosie May 19, 2018

Angry Tap 

In a fit of Trump-related rage you write a perfect tweet and then Angry Tap the send button.

Carl was so pissed at Trump about revoking DACA that he opened twitter, wrote a joke and angry tapped the Tweet button.

Angry Tap by Uncle Joosie May 4, 2018

The Poop Loop 

when you have a great bowel movement and need to tell your best friends how great it was.

I kept Tiffany in the Poop Loop when I texted her with glee after taking a marvelous shit.

The Poop Loop by Uncle Joosie February 5, 2018

Chyron Cussing 

When mainstream media outlets like CNN and MSNBC have "shithole" in their chyrons as a direct quote of a government official.

Racist asshole Donald Trump called Africa a bunch of "shithole countries" so in order to quote him accurately TV news was forced into some beautiful chyron cussing.

Chyron Cussing by Uncle Joosie January 12, 2018