Definitions by Uncle Joosie

Rudy Burns 

Giuliani hair dye that's actually runny Kmart shoe polish

Rudy Giuliani stepped to the lectern to illegally sabotage America's electoral process and began to sweat profusely. the next moment the Rudy Burns began forming on his diseased cheeks, looking like shoe-polish sideburns and helping create forever Internet memes.

Rudy Burns by Uncle Joosie November 20, 2020

Chyron Shade 

when CNN's chyron writer is like "fuck it Don is toast"

Harold was CNN's on-duty chyron writer when AP called presidential race for Joe Biden. "thank GOD" he thought to himself, then started thinking up cutting burns. after typing in "THE TRUMP SHOW HAS A SERIES FINALE DATE" he muttered "now that's some Grade A Chyron Shade" and sipped his tea.

Chyron Shade by Uncle Joosie November 8, 2020

Spanish Pence

horny science-denying closet-case who attracts flies

Noreen watched the VP debate with best gal pal Cindy and they noticed a fly landed on Mike Pence's head. They knew it was a sign. "Imagine being married to Mother as repressed gay man who could be fabulous; instead he's just Spanish Pence who's not allowed to be sexual, ever. sad!"

Spanish Pence by Uncle Joosie October 20, 2020

Me Toobin 

horrified Zoom attendees forced to watch Jeff Toobin jerk off

Jane attended virtual staff meeting on Zoom and noticed a strange action happening in one of the boxes. Just then she spotted Jeffrey Toobin massaging his trouser snake and was about to reach climax. "OMFG did you see that?" she texted her work pal. "We just got Me Toobin'ed! Gross!"

Me Toobin by Uncle Joosie October 20, 2020

Covid Eye

Mike Pence's puffy bloodshot sickly eyeballs during VP debate

Bruce was watching the vice presidential debate with his roommate, Carl, and Kamala Harris walked out. "she's amazing!" Bruce exclaimed. when cameras panned to Mike Pence, Carl dropped his beer. "OMG WTF is wrong with Pence? his eyes are obviously diseased. after breathing air in White House's contagious-disease cluster looks like he's got Covid Eye!"

Covid Eye by Uncle Joosie October 8, 2020

prospefity 

when dopey right-wingers try to tweet about prosperity

Senator Mike Lee tried to scold everybody about how representative democracy isn't the objective of voting. In addition to being a cunt Mr. Lee misspelled "prosperity" as "prospefity" and proceeded to get deeply ratioed and dragged online.

prospefity by Uncle Joosie October 8, 2020

Fly Girl Pence 

What Mike Pence turns into after a fly lands on his head during VP debates

repressed stuck-up Christian Mike Pence—JC Penney catalog-idea of almost-handsome—debated Kamala Harris and had a house fly land on his head. When the fly's regurgitation interacted with Pence's hairspray he instantly transformed into Fly Girl Pence; filed for divorce from Karen; and admitted being in a long-term affair with a fella named Eduardo.

Fly Girl Pence by Uncle Joosie October 8, 2020