81 definition by Uncle Joosie

Top Definition
When babies, dogs, kids or other people are so cute, and it becomes so aggravating, that you just want to squeeze them until their eyeballs pop out.
Karla bumped in to old-friend Susie on the street, with her three-month-old, Emmett, decked out in a sailor suit, giggling endlessly. "He is so adorable in that get-up that I just want to slap him," Karla remarked to Susie, who quickly explained that she was suffering from Violent Affection Syndrome (VAS). Susie took Emmett and kept walking down the street.
by Uncle Joosie April 17, 2014

Mug icon
Buy a Violent Affection Syndrome (VAS) mug!
like crocodile tears but from a lying asshole
in recent testimony, Brett said he was super sure he's never sexually assaulted anyone and started phony kavanaugh tears when realizing his dream to get on the supreme court was going down the shitter.
via giphy
by Uncle Joosie September 27, 2018

Mug icon
Buy a kavanaugh tears mug!
a bowel movement spread out over 2 or 3 intervals—like an opera or play.
early one morning, Timothy took a noticeably low-volume crap, and then flushed and washed his hands. A few minutes later he realized it was an Opera Poop—one that required a second and possibly a third visit to the toilet.
via giphy
by Uncle Joosie June 27, 2017

Mug icon
Buy a Opera Poop mug!
Brett Kavanaugh-type calendar entry indicating sex is imminent
oh shit I just read nikki's a maybe on Brett Kavanaugh's calendar so he was definitely planning on getting some strange
via giphy
by Uncle Joosie September 26, 2018

Mug icon
Buy a nikki's a maybe mug!
Tucker Carlson's grimaced look every night on Fox News.
Tucker Carlson was interviewing Glenn Greenwald on Fixed Noise with resting constipation face as they both slammed Hillary for sending some email.
by Uncle Joosie June 14, 2018

Mug icon
Buy a resting constipation face mug!
when you lie to please a tyrant
Representative Elise from New York was grandstanding, lying and obfuscating during Trump impeachment hearings; her desperate Stefanikking was patently obvious to millions watching
via giphy
by Uncle Joosie November 16, 2019

Mug icon
Buy a Stefanikking mug!
An outsized, abnormally gigantic poop taken after a visit to Chicago where all sorts of high-calorie foods were consumed.
During a trip to Chicago, Tim had a cheeseburger platter and chocolate mayonnaise cake at Portillo's; deep-dish pizza at Bartoli’s; and a few hot dogs from street vendors. When he got back home to Connecticut, he sat on the toilet and dropped a gargantuan Chicago Deuce that was so huge it looked like a shipwreck.
by Uncle Joosie February 29, 2016

Mug icon
Buy a Chicago Deuce mug!