Uncle Joosie's definitions

Chyron Shade

when CNN's chyron writer is like "fuck it Don is toast"

Harold was CNN's on-duty chyron writer when AP called presidential race for Joe Biden. "thank GOD" he thought to himself, then started thinking up cutting burns. after typing in "THE TRUMP SHOW HAS A SERIES FINALE DATE" he muttered "now that's some Grade A Chyron Shade" and sipped his tea.

by Uncle Joosie November 8, 2020

Covid Cootie-cross

when someone approaching you crosses the street to avoid contagion

Karla was walking and talking to mom on her cell and noticed a dude who crossed to the other side. "OMG mama this guy just did a Covid Cootie-cross on me!"

by Uncle Joosie April 22, 2020

Minivan Taliban

correct name of "Mums 4 Liberty" terrorists

Moms for Liberty, recently rehabbed by national media as "joyful warriors," are all a fraudulent, dark-money-funded, steaming pile of horseshit masquerading as "grassroots movement". which is exactly why Minivan Taliban started trending on Twitter.

by Uncle Joosie July 5, 2023

Lurking Piles

Hidden hemorrhoids that haven't dropped yet

Timmy's butthole was feeling quite itchy and aggravated when he woke up on Sunday. He turned to wife Sally and said "ugh I have Lurking Piles from all that pizza we ate this weekend; hoping those 'roids drop soon so I can get over it"

by Uncle Joosie November 30, 2020

Dumbtitlement

Covidiots who feel entitled to kill others with a bioweapon

COVID-positive California teacher, actively symptomatic, read to her class without a breathing mask and got more than half of her students sick. In MAGA's suicide cult Dumbtitlement runs rampant and is literally putting people at risk.

by Uncle Joosie August 30, 2021

Resting Vagina Hands

when a male politician is so scared by a woman that their default position is resting their hands in the shape of a vagina.

Donald Trump met with Angie Merkel and was so frightened that he went right to his Resting Vagina Hands.

by Uncle Joosie July 11, 2018

My face is spicy

What D.C. rioters shouted right after doing a bump of smack

After Skeeter-Enos Pawpucket scored some street corner meth in Adams Morgan, he joined with hillbilly pals and went down to invade our nation's Capitol in an act of Trump Treason. Just before reaching the building, he snorted a line on his hand, and screamed "My face is spicy" and then went to steal Pelosi's laptop.

by Uncle Joosie April 11, 2021