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Uncle Joosie's definitions

Violent Affection Syndrome (VAS)

When babies, dogs, kids or other people are so cute, and it becomes so aggravating, that you just want to squeeze them until their eyeballs pop out.
Karla bumped in to old-friend Susie on the street, with her three-month-old, Emmett, decked out in a sailor suit, giggling endlessly. "He is so adorable in that get-up that I just want to slap him," Karla remarked to Susie, who quickly explained that she was suffering from Violent Affection Syndrome (VAS). Susie took Emmett and kept walking down the street.
by Uncle Joosie April 17, 2014
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Shallow Follow

when you follow someone on Twitter solely because they're smoking hot.
Kyle "Shallow Followed" Trevor on Twitter only because he saw that he's hot.

Kyle stumbled across Trevor today from a Retweet—and when he clicked over to Trevor's profile avi he saw that Trevor was super-fucking hot and muscly with a great smile. So Kyle Shallow-Followed him because he doesn't care what he tweets or says just so long as he's hot.
by Uncle Joosie July 27, 2016
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Chyronalism

Chyronalism (chyron + journalism) happens when news media fact-checks lying asshole fuckfaces like Donald Trump in on-screen graphics. "Chyronalism" has taken the place of actual journalism since profit-driven news media is all about access and ratings. They DGAF about confronting lying politicians to their faces, so they fact-check in the chyron.
Brindy was in the CNN production room during a live broadcast when she committed an act of Chyronalism; from a quick Google search she found Donald Trump to be a lying shitbird and corrected him on-screen in the chyron.
by Uncle Joosie August 14, 2016
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dry bowl salute

when you poop in a dry toilet and the turd stands on end like a soldier going to battle
Timmy came home turtling badly so he dashed to the toilet; when he finished Timmy got up and saw a dry bowl salute—a brown turd standing on end saying “SIR YES SIR” before getting flushed away.
by Uncle Joosie November 13, 2018
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florida rape van

vehicle used by MAGA Bomber in the sunshine state.
recent MAGA bomber Cletus adorned his white florida rape van with MAGA stickers and hillary sucks memes hoping to avoid detection by local police.
by Uncle Joosie October 26, 2018
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breitbart on wheels

nickname for MAGA bomber's white van in florida
Cletus adorned his white rape getaway van with so many CNN sucks, Hillary 4 Prison & MAGA stickers the vehicle looked like breitbart on wheels
by Uncle Joosie October 26, 2018
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Curvy Couch Tumors

just prior to airtime Barbie-sue, Skeeter-Larry and Carl walked on-set, assumed their position as Fox so-called News' Curvy Couch Tumors and took a call from ranting lunatic Donald Trump.
by Uncle Joosie January 2, 2019
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