Definitions by Ubeenbamboozledson

Watch Out For The Doors 

Using a door as a weapon (accidentally or not) by slamming it into someone.

*Terroriser gets crushed by a door*

"Watch out for the doors, folks. They're not just a great band -- They'll kill you!"

Watch Out For The Doors by Ubeenbamboozledson March 13, 2022

Facebook Probation 

When Facebook punishes you by placing sanction(s) on your account to restrict what you can do instead of just putting you in Facebook Jail.

"Why didn't you comment on my post bro"

"I can't. I'm on Facebook Probation and can't comment on any posts until Monday"

Facebook Probation by Ubeenbamboozledson March 12, 2022

Like Baptizing A Cat 

Extremely difficult and painful.

Dealing with a Karen in your workplace is like baptizing a cat.

Like Baptizing A Cat by Ubeenbamboozledson March 11, 2022

Doorstopper 

A book that is so comically large, it can literally be used as an actual doorstopper.

My doorstopper of a book is just shy of 1,000 pages. And the pages are HUGE.

Doorstopper by Ubeenbamboozledson March 9, 2022

Ben Stiller is not Batman 

One of the funniest moments in the history of the Vanoss Crew, where Terroriser states that Ben Stiller is Batman instead of Ben Affleck.

Terroriser (In his Terminator voice while shooting Batman NPCs): HELLO! AHHH, FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU, BEN STILLER! FUCK YOU, BEN STILLER! COME ON, YOU FUCK!

Panda (After Terroriser kills them all): I have to point out something...BEN STILLER IS NOT BATMAN!

(Everyone starts laughing)

Terroriser: What? I SAID BEN STILLER??

Wildcat: Ben AFFLECK!

Terroriser: Ah, fuck! I called Zoolander "Batman"!

Panda: You stupid bastard!

Ben Stiller is not Batman by Ubeenbamboozledson March 8, 2022

Why didn't you go with him? 

When you don't realize a person is dead and you suffer a severe case of foot-in-mouth disease.

Earl: "I'm such an idiot. I saw our neighbor Mrs. Lundgren at the store today, so I asked her how her husband was doing. I didn't know he was dead. She said 'he's gone' and I thought he was on a trip. So I asked, 'Why didn't you go with him?'"

Opal (horrified): EARL!!!

~ "Pickles" by Brian Crane

Why didn't you go with him? by Ubeenbamboozledson March 8, 2022

Captain Sofa 

A position of authority where you have full control of a sofa and who sits on it. Nobody is allowed to sit on the sofa unless they say, "Permission to board, sir?"

"Captain Sofa" originated from a Pickles comic:

Opal: *Sits on the sofa*

Earl: *Clears throat*

Opal: Forget it. I don't care if you ARE Captain Sofa. I'm not saying "Permission to board, sir?" every time I sit down here.

Captain Sofa by Ubeenbamboozledson March 8, 2022