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Ubeenbamboozledson's definitions

Roy Sullivan

A park ranger who was struck by lightning SEVEN times throughout his life, committed suicide after getting friendzoned in his seventies, and then got struck by lightning an eighth time, six feet under.
Roy Sullivan would have been awesome to have as a grandfather. Can you just imagine being able to say that your grandpa is a "Human Lightning Rod"?
by Ubeenbamboozledson April 26, 2022
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Chonker

A cat that is large. Not necessarily because of abusive owners. Stop judging people, you stupid cunt.
The owner of a chonker may have recently adopted the cat. Or they may be forgetful when it comes to feeding. In any event, it's not always the fault of the (current) owner when a cat is massive. But go ahead and just assume the worst. Maybe get a more positive mindset and you'll be less of a douche.
by Ubeenbamboozledson March 19, 2024
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Ethnic Cleansing (2002)

The most utterly vile and unapologetically racist video game to ever exist. Period. The fact that this game is not illegal to own is a fucking travesty.
"Ethnic Cleansing (2002)" is a video game where you play as a KKK member (or a Neo-Nazi, as if that's any better) committing domestic terrorism in the form of mass murder...and that's as far as I'll go in describing it.
by Ubeenbamboozledson April 3, 2024
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To Kill A Mockingbird

A tomboy learns that Americans are racist when she watches a drunken loser ruin a black man's life via false rape accusation, despite the fact that her father absolutely proved that he could not have done it. (Later, the poor black man dies in prison via police brutality.)

Tomboy then gets attacked by the aforementioned drunken loser, and a man whom she used to torment because she wanted to see what he looked like comes to her rescue, and he disappears again. The rest of it is pure filler. Seriously, this book is almost 400 pages, but it would only be around 60-80 pages if you only included the parts that actually matter.
To Kill A Mockingbird is one of the most overly long books of all time.
by Ubeenbamboozledson September 28, 2022
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Martin Luther King Jr.

Real Name: Michael Lewis King Jr.

Born: January 15, 1929

Died: April 4, 1968 (39 years old)

WHAT SCHOOL WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE: A great guy who devoted his entire life to stopping discrimination against colored people before he got shot by some asshole.

REALITY: An unfaithful cheater who took pleasure in watching his friends rape women. He may have been a communist as well, although that's been up in the air for awhile.
Martin Luther King Jr. was not the hero that everyone makes him out to be.
by Ubeenbamboozledson August 10, 2021
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Wile E. Coyote

An immortal being who falls off a cliff for every 1-2 minutes of his existence. When he's not falling off cliffs, he's either getting hit by a truck, or failing at using various ACME products.

All because he is desperately hungry, trying to catch a roadrunner who violates basically every law of physics and reality whenever it's convenient to him. The same also happens to the coyote...but only when it's NOT convenient for him.
Wile E. Coyote must have bones that are made of titanium.
by Ubeenbamboozledson December 27, 2021
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Boil

Like a pimple, but ten times worse.
Imagine you have a pimple.

Now, imagine it's huge and sensitive; so sensitive that if even your clothes brush against it, it hurts like a motherfucker. (If you actually hit it against something, nobody will blame you for screaming, swearing, and/or crying.)

Next, imagine that it takes several days of constantly attacking it before it finally stops hurting and starts to shrink. Also, you have to wait until it becomes vulnerable and occasionally take breaks even then.

Then, imagine that it can and will appear only in places where it's easy to aggravate. If one appear in your groin area, or - even better (not) - ON YOUR PRIVATES, buckle up, because it's gonna be miserable.

Next, imagine that when it's finally on the way out, it may still take another week to fully disappear. And even then, there's a good chance that more will show up unless you do take action.

And just like that, you have a boil. Fun, isn't it? (No, it's not.)
by Ubeenbamboozledson June 11, 2024
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