Definitions by Two Hep Cats

The Knecht Effect

The Knecht Effect describes the statistical certainty that, if one has many possessions, at least one will always be in a state of disrepair. In other words -- something always needs fixing. The underlying math is simple, being based on expansion of the binomial (a + b)^n, where "a" represents the probability of something being in good working order, "b" is the probability of it needing to be fixed (note that a + b = 1.0), and "n" is the number of possessions one owns.

(named after the research psychologist, William R. Knecht (pronounced like "connect"), who first noted the phenomenon)

As I got older, I became a victim of the Knecht Effect. I owned so much stuff that at least one thing was always broken, and I was spending half my life getting stuff fixed.

The Knecht Effect by Two Hep Cats April 22, 2022

videophart 

An unstoppable video that begins on a Web page, no matter what your browser settings for video auto-play are, and can only be stopped manually. The most insidious versions can't be stopped at all.

CNN has started using videopharts. Doesn't matter how you set your browser, they load and begin playing automatically until you manually shut them off.

videophart by Two Hep Cats June 23, 2017

DonTcare 

DONald Trump-Care. (pron. "Don-T-Care") The Republican "replacement" for Obamacare. Hey--it's the plan that doesn't give a shit about you, your health, or your bank account (except for emptying it and handing it over to rich folks).

I have no health insurance. I have DonTcare--"The Closest Thing to Nothing"

DonTcare by Two Hep Cats March 25, 2017

Fido's Law 

Dogs expand to fill the sofa available.

Mutt: Dude--I can't sit down. Your sofa's completely covered with dogs.

Jeff: Fido's Law, man.

Fido's Law by Two Hep Cats June 2, 2013

RGP 

Rich Guy Propaganda. A principle of life that every educated person needs to know--that Rich Guys use the principles of propaganda to fool the gullible into thinking that what's good for the rich is good for them.

Notice how, during every election, Rich Guys repackage trickle-down economics and try to sell it all over again? It's nothing but RGP bullshit, lipstick on the same old, greedy pig.

RGP by Two Hep Cats April 14, 2013

deranged 

What happens to vaqueros who leave the prairie too quickly.

Jorge galloped off the ranch an' got hisself deranged. Boy's brain was plumb pasturized. Too mas loco weed, pendejo.

deranged by Two Hep Cats January 4, 2013

skidmark 

TV ad that stays onscreen during the entire program.

TV advertisers started with logo bugs, moved on to pharts and then graduated to skidmarks. Next, they'll move the program down to one corner of the screen and run continual ads over the remaining 90%.

skidmark by Two Hep Cats December 9, 2012