Kevlar Neck Gaiter

A metaphorical badge of loyalty usually referenced as an item of travel gear when visiting a good friend in a tight spot.

“I’m visiting my buddy in the Army next week but he’s stationed at a pretty wild post, you know, murders, kidnappings, war brides, that kind of thing; so, I’ll definitely be packing my Kevlar neck gaiter.”
“Jesus, where’s he stationed, Fallujah?”
“Nah, Fort Bragg.”

by Tin Hat Kippah December 09, 2020

Duolingoy

A non-Jew hired obliquely to do Duolingo on Shabbos for an observant Jew and thus allow her or him to maintain their streak. Coined on analogy with Shabbos goy.

Oy, the megillah to hire my Duolingoy was just verkakte. I had to stand there with a sad look on my puss and say "it's so unfortunate that there isn't someone out there who just wants to do Duolingo once a week to brush up their Klingon" over and over again until he took the hint.

by Tin Hat Kippah December 21, 2020

Hock my China

Verb: "To be a pest, especially by going on and on about something (usually with "don't" or other negation)." A trans-lingual Mondegreen of the Yiddish phrase "hak mir nisht keyn tshaynik" (lit: "don't rattle me a tea kettle") meaning, figuratively, to quit complaining or beating a point to death.

Listen, we're not going to Disneyland this Summer and that's final, so suck it up and don't hock my China about it.

Chad, what happens again when you hock my China?
I get yelled at?
Exactamundo! So, knock it off and go watch TV.

by Tin Hat Kippah November 12, 2020

Sentinel Beach Resort

An audible sigh coming immediately after plunking down on the toilet seat before a particularly loud dump. Typically preceding a shot across the bow and very awkward for one’s neighbors in the restroom. Origin unknown but perhaps an ironic reference to the initial sense of tranquility and peace felt by missionaries, anthropologists and other visitors to North Sentinel Island in the Bay of Bengal before hearing the initial volley of arrows.

It was bad enough my dad and had to use adjoining shitters at the rest stop on the way home but when I heard his Sentinel Beach Resort I knew I only had seconds to cover my ears before he opened fire.

by Tin Hat Kippah December 06, 2020

Passing Nick Kristof in the Aisle

To lay a fart in someone's face while passing them in an airplane, bus, subway train or other public conveyance where they are denied a means of easy escape and have to take the full blast directly or at least danger close. From an unfortunate incident in late 2019 when two-time Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof took such a hit while on a U.S. transcontinental flight.

What happened to you?
I tripped on my shoelace while passing Nick Kristof in the aisle to my Calc teacher on the way back from the Mathletes Jamboree and now I've gotta wear this leg boot for 3 weeks.
Yeah, karma can be a bitch.

by Tin Hat Kippah December 15, 2020

Kentucky Bumpfire

1) The practice of doing bumpfire or bumpfiring a semi-automatic rifle by needlessly, inefficiently and probably unsafely having a buddy stand behind you and pull the stock of your slinged rifle. 2) Any needless, inefficient and unsafe variation on standard shooting protocol usually thought up by two (almost always male) friends when they have more ammo than targets or good sense. See, Kentucky Windage.

Hey, why is that guy using himself as a bipod for his buddy's AR?
Hmm...That right there, son, is some serious Kentucky Bumpfire.

by Tin Hat Kippah December 20, 2020

Rockfuck

Verb: "To make false promises about what you can contribute, only to show up with with little or nothing." Noun: "One who does the foregoing (also, "rockfucker")." Refers to the idea of being particularly screwed over by an unfulfilled or exaggerated promise. Origin unknown but maybe inspired by formations like "ratfuck" and "assfuck."

"The Army recruiter we invited to Career Day said he'd bring a pack full of gear for the kids to look at, and then he rockfucked us and showed up with bupkis and a handful of pamphlets."

"Steve said he knew a guy who knew a guy and so there'd be at least two kegs at the party, but he rockfucked us big time and just showed up with a 12 pack of White Claw and a bottle of Cranberry Moscato."

by Tin Hat Kippah November 11, 2020