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Definitions by TheCorrectKnowledge

Dickheads 

A group of people who profiteer during a pandemic and buy up all the supplies of hand sanitiser and food, then proceed to sell it at extortionate prices on various online sales outlets. A petition has been set up to name and shame these DICKHEADS!
Look at these DICKHEADS with a trolleys full of toilet roll and sanitiser!!! Scratch their car with you're keys!!! No, take a pic of the REG plate and post it online!!!!

Carbon Dating 

When you cannot find a partner and end up wining and dining a piece of coal. You feel let down after the date never went as well as you had hoped due to one way conversation! Perhaps next time I will join in!
Im so lonely I have started carbon dating

Gimpleton 

Akin to the simpleton, but much more gimpish! Looks awkward and has a terrible gait, dresses badly but never gives up because of an iron willed determination. Given half a chance, it would inform you of facts for a good hour and a half. Glasses are usual, but thats not a hard and fast rule. (as sometime the specs are in the top pocket of the shirt)
Dont, its a gimpleton you might live to regret it.

BiffedHawn 

The hand with which you have rubbed the head of you're unwashed penis to climax is known as the "BiffedHawn" - e.g you have Biffed yourself hand-wise, self abuse. It now has a vomit inducing scent that should be washed more thoroughly than a coughed in hand.
FFS eeeewwwwwww!!!!! whos got the biffedhawn!!?

Blanket Lifter

A 'Blanket Lifter', is the term given to the fiercely powerful fart in bed that has the power to raise aloft the bed sheets much to the disdain of the partner laying akin.
What the fuck did you do that for?? You scared me AND the dog (Which shot clean off the bed and into the hall yelping!!!) Next time you need a blanket lifter go to the fucking toilet you dirty bastard, you nearly had my eye out!

Scarab Beetle 

My original name for poker players who go all in with absolutely anything over and over. Hence, Scarab Beetle, pushing (going all in) shit around (any two cards).
72 offsuit and you get a full house!?!?! You fucking Scarab beetle bastard!!!!

The Bowed Brockel 

The "Bowed Brockel" is the sturdy but thin piece of wood strapped to a young Scottish males back about to undergo the ritual of sexual intercourse with a rotund, very experience woman renowned for her love of the male organ. The wooden strap is to prevent the male falling into the gaping rupture never to be seen again.
Mind and strap the bowed brockel onto the lad if ye wanna see him come out o there alive!