TheAlwaysCorrect1's definitions

Yakarma Farmer

A person who uses the anonymous social media app “YikYak” and frequently makes posts starting with “x upvotes and I’ll <insert action>”. Common action examples include “ask out my crush” (as if they’re in elementary school), “streak across campus”, “shout out a random phrase during an exam”.

Sad, lonely people do this on anonymous apps because they know it will rack up a lot of upvotes, which, similar to “likes” and “shares”, are the only sad thing that keeps our depressed population alive.

100 upvotes and I will ask out my crush
*285 upvotes*
Comments: “so did you do it?” “Nah he’s just a yakarma farmer”
OP: not at all but uhhhh… “yeah I did! She said yes and we’re grabbing coffee tomorrow! Thanks everyone!!” At least I got lots of yakarma

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 February 10, 2023

Miracle

What females call a fetus because they don’t know how simple getting knocked up and having your egg fertilized is.

Omg here’s an ultrasound of our miracle that you can hardly see

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 February 9, 2023

Dad bod

What fat guys say they have to feel better about being fat

Dude you need to lose weight.

“Nah, I love my dad bod”
You’re a 37 year old virgin. You don’t have kids. You’re not a dad. You’re just fat

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 February 8, 2023

Today years old

A phrase grown adults who haven’t lost their virginity yet and still live in their parent’s basement say when they heard something on the internet that usually isn’t true.

I was today years old when I learned that guitar strings are actually made for cutting cheese cubes.

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 February 5, 2023

Thoughts and prayers

Common social media reply to posts about dead people when there is, in fact, no thoughts and no prayers. And if there is, they last about 2 seconds.

*comments “Thoughts and Prayers”*
*immediately goes back to watching porn*

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 February 5, 2023

Rest in Peace

Phrase that used to be used at funerals when someone passed away, is now used on social media to milk attention and pity from “followers” or “friends”, posted as if it is supposed to be said to the dead person who won’t see it.

“Rest in Peace Grandpa John”
Your grandpa John is dead and won’t see this post.

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 February 5, 2023

But

Translation: disregard everything I said so far and here’s how I actually feel

You were great and I know it’s not your fault, but the rest of the staff made this experience unenjoyable

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 February 3, 2023