The Ripper's definitions

red

This describes the condition of the person who has been smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol--they are red, as in red in the face (from the alcohol) AND/OR red in the eyes (from the marijuana).

"After I have my breakfast blunt and my mickey, I'm red and ready for work."

"I drank all the beer and did bong hits, then I was sooo red."

by The Ripper December 12, 2004

Ripper

Slang for a strip club (any strip club/nudie bar/"Gentlemen's Club" featuring "exotic dancers"). Personal Note: this is not the origin of my name.

"Wanna go by the ripper's tonight?"
"Shit yeah, I've got a hundred bucks in fives in my wallet."

by The Ripper January 6, 2005

Felon's Guilt

The type of guilt (remorse for misdeed) felt when capture/punishment is imminent. It's not that the misdeed itself is regretted due to realization that it was wrong, but only because the person is unwilling/unable to accept the consequences. Term comes from the colloquial and the legal system ("felon").

The thief was not sorry she stole; but was very, very sorry she was going to prison.

by The Ripper May 13, 2005

Blood Test Sex

The type of sex that necessitates a blood test afterwards when the STD status of the other person is unknown--intercourse (vaginal and anal), oral sex, ...anything that allows fluids to mingle.

"Did you fuck that girl last night?"
"Just a handjob, no blood test sex."

by The Ripper January 16, 2005

Catholic Virgin

Refers to a person, usually female, who will engage in sexual acts other than vaginal penetration of a penis. Vaginal penetration of a penis is "sex" and therefore evil--so to maintain "virginity", Roman Catholic Virgins will engage in manual, oral, anal, or anything else that isn't vaginal. Personally, I think it's a sign of serious hypocrisy.

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's been one week since my last confession."
"Have you committed sins of the flesh?"
"No, I'm still a virgin."
***This penitent is lying: Manual, Oral, and Anal Sex are all SEX. It's right there in the titles!***

"I went out with this chick from St. Thomas Aquinas last night."
"Any action?"
"Hell yeah--she's Catholic so she took it up the ass! I fucking love Catholic virgins!"

by The Ripper January 9, 2005

Fatman Index

A variation of the heat index for weather. The fatman index measures how well each person handles the heat. Some people don't mind the heat, others fear it like grim death. The worse you handle heat, the higher the fatman index. This is based on the real lazy fat man who hates the heat and sweats like a pig. Originates from the area of Genoa, Illinois.

"This heat is terrible! fatman index is through the roof!"

"Better not go outside. It's hot and humid, not to mention the fatman index."

by The Ripper April 1, 2005

Teacher Voice

The loud volume of voice that teachers use. It's not really a yell since that indicates fear or anger--just the loud, obnoxious voice of someone accustomed to endeavouring to speak over the crowd without sounding angry. Off-duty teachers often don't know they are being too loud and coming off as bossy.

"If you're getting up, would you bring me a glass of water?"

"Stop shouting, I'm right next to you. You've been shouting since you got here."

"Sorry, it's my teacher voice."

by The Ripper November 11, 2008