Definitions by The Original Agahnim
Black widow
The black widow was actually a loudmouth that hoped she was scaring everybody enough to keep them from eating her alive.
Black widow by The Original Agahnim November 28, 2021
Dork
Someone that got made fun of a lot in school then becomes a murderous socialite later in life to show the world how badass she really was along (even if it was the hitman that did her actual dirty work).
The black widow wasn't the one that bit her husband's head off, she was much too cowardly for that, she had to have a hitman he never met or suspected to be a hitman shoot him dead. She was someone that would never see in the mirror the dork everyone else saw when they looked at her.
Dork by The Original Agahnim November 28, 2021
Dork
Somebody that constantly has to have a game to play or a song to sing just to make it a few miles down the road in a car. Someone that has to read a murder mystery novel to come up with a way to have somebody offed (by a hitman for example). Somebody that uses their own face on an uninspired painting, or paints something in the vicinity because they are a narcissist that lacks imagination.
The dork might have been helpless to kill her husband if she hadn't read the murder mystery about how to hire a hitman and get away with the murder. She lived her entire life as a coward, so she wouldn't try it if the odds were against her getting away with it at some point, or at least getting her sentence reduced.
Dork by The Original Agahnim November 28, 2021
Strong one
The one that has to weaken, destroy, or humiliate everyone around them but themselves is not the strong one. The one that creates a spiral of betrayal, deceit, or tries to drive everyone around them crazy but themselves or set death traps to ensure their own survival isn't the strong one. As long as someone like that is around, nobody is allowed to be the strong one(s).
Not everyone has a strong one buried somewhere under their skin, but many do, though it's hard to see it when darkness prevails.
Strong one by The Original Agahnim November 28, 2021
Whirlwind
It wasn't the whirlwind that blew his 32 teeth into his brain, it was the homemade bomb she taped in his mouth (after which nobody could understand the words coming out of his mouth).
Whirlwind by The Original Agahnim November 27, 2021
Elf hats
Emperor Judge- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?
First convict (with all the menacing humorless brevity he can muster)- I'll take firing squad, I'm firing squad hard. I was born a marine, so I don't have to actually join the armed forces to be what I'm destined to be.
Emperor judge- Okay, you got it, firing squad it is for you.
Emperor judge to second convict- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets?
Second convict- I've always been a roughneck, so I'll take hanging by the neck to show em' even if I die, I can still hang.
Emperor judge- Okay, we will hang you, it should be fun!
Emperor judge to third convict- What about you, do you want firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?
Third convict- I'll take getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats for 5,000 Trebek!
Emperor judge- I don't think I've ever met a convict so eager to die. Before you start thinking this is going to be funny, you do know how long it is actually going to take two midgets to cut you in half and split you don't you? They have to reciporicate about four times for every one time a regular person has to do it, it's not going to be fun for you, but I'm going to order a feast to watch my favorite kind of execution.
First convict (with all the menacing humorless brevity he can muster)- I'll take firing squad, I'm firing squad hard. I was born a marine, so I don't have to actually join the armed forces to be what I'm destined to be.
Emperor judge- Okay, you got it, firing squad it is for you.
Emperor judge to second convict- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets?
Second convict- I've always been a roughneck, so I'll take hanging by the neck to show em' even if I die, I can still hang.
Emperor judge- Okay, we will hang you, it should be fun!
Emperor judge to third convict- What about you, do you want firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?
Third convict- I'll take getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats for 5,000 Trebek!
Emperor judge- I don't think I've ever met a convict so eager to die. Before you start thinking this is going to be funny, you do know how long it is actually going to take two midgets to cut you in half and split you don't you? They have to reciporicate about four times for every one time a regular person has to do it, it's not going to be fun for you, but I'm going to order a feast to watch my favorite kind of execution.
Elf hats by The Original Agahnim November 27, 2021
Pretend
What most people in the world do. They smile at people/neighbors/coworkers they hate, they pretend to be joking or kidding with people they want dead, and they pretend to fight allies to try and convince their enemies that they are on opposite sides (for show). Most people would rather come to someone indirectly with a smile before they kill them than directly with their true intentions toward the other person, with no pretense or guile.
He/she knew how to pretend, which anybody could do really, but he/she wasn't too good at direct emotional honesty even at his/her most straightforward times.
Pretend by The Original Agahnim November 27, 2021