Red Christmas

The event of your wife or girlfriend being on their period for Christmas.
Steve: "You gonna get some holiday fanny this Christmas, Tom?"
Tom: "No, Steve. Not this year, buddy. It's going to be a Red Christmas."
by The Mumbling Manchildren April 21, 2018
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Ass Mumbles

Simply put: smallish flatulence just before taking a shit.
Honey, get out of the bathroom, now. I've got the ass mumbles and she's gonna blow.
by The Mumbling Manchildren February 08, 2010
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Rhinhole Cowboy

A certain breed of ranch hand who prefers a type of chaps constructed holly of sewn together rhinoceros anuses.

The tanned and cured rhinoceros anal dermis is known to be both durable and breathable.
Additionally, it has been found to have repellant qualities, deterring large Savannah predators, such as lions and rich old white men.
Did you see that man over there in the produce section, Beth? He looks to be a true-blue Rhinhole Cowboy. So sexy in his rhino-anus chaps and ten gallon wildebeest pube hat!
by The Mumbling Manchildren December 20, 2017
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The Law of Pho

The blessed event of a girlfriend who acknowledges you are not feeling well and, despite being menstrual as all hell, brings over pho take out anyway. And maybe even sucks your dick with her onion breath- known as "getting extra meat". A swallow is known as "slurping the leftover broth".
I found her man. I found her. It's The Law of Pho for real. Complete with Extra Meat ! And she slurped the leftover broth!
by The Mumbling Manchildren December 01, 2017
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Inverted Banjo

When one sexual partner rubs their prolapsed rectum against their partners anus.
Grandpa loved to tell me about the last time he gave grandma the inverted banjo before she passed away.
by The Mumbling Manchildren October 04, 2017
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Golden Carousel

Man lays on his back and balances a fidget spinner (in motion) on the tip of his boner while his partner urinates all over his nethers (and the spinner).
Last Thursday, I went to a party at Tom's and got so drunk I jumped up on the pool table with Emma and my tie dye spinner... we totally nailed the golden carousel.

Had to buy Tom a new pool table, though...
by The Mumbling Manchildren October 12, 2017
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Colonal Portal

A symptom of severe digestive unease where you have passed all excrement available to your bowels from the present, yet the rectum continue to move waste. Presumably this material is transported from future meals by means of a space-time rift deep within the large intestine. - - Also known as: "The Ghost of Shitmas Future."
Fucking Hell, Kevin. I was so messed up after that truck burrito last night, I must have opened up a colonal portal around one. I think I might have shit the dinner Becca and I are going to have tomorrow...
Kevin, I have met The Ghost of Shitmas Future!
by The Mumbling Manchildren December 11, 2017
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