Caned Out

To cane out is to become so old and decrepit that one can only walk with a cane or canes.

Pops turned 90 this year, and between the arthritic knees and feeble muscles, he just caned out. Can't walk without them.

by The Jeff S June 18, 2019

Trunk Kiss

When you approach your car, lick the tip of your index finger, and clean the dirt, snow, or rain off the little backup camera mounted on the trunk for better visibility.

He walked up, gave the car a trunk kiss, got in and backed it out of the parking space, carefully checking the monitor on the dash.

by The Jeff S April 01, 2016

Medict

An edict one gives to oneself, as when establishing a goal.

I’ve given myself a medict: I will not eat ice cream until swim season is over.

by The Jeff S July 29, 2023

Woot-toot!

"Woot-woot" is defined by the Urban Dictionary as an expression of excitement or joy, typically upon receiving good news. Thus Woot-toot is an expression of excitement upon sensing a joyous or otherwise remarkable fart.

"Moments after finishing his third burrito, my roommate emitted a fart of rare and surprising duration, harmony, and syncopation. 'Woot-toot!' I cried."

by The Jeff S March 30, 2017

Tottie

An aged hottie. Once hot, now not.

Barbara walkered across the common dining room of the senior center unnoticed. There was a time, she thought. One a hottie, now a tottie.

by The Jeff S July 06, 2024

Peak Evolution

The top of the bell curve in the evolution of man. The point in time at which the betterment of each generation over the previous one ceases to occur, and the species begins to backslide toward stupidity. Peak Evolution occurs when morons procreate faster than the enlightened.

The 2016 election would someday be seen as tangible evidence of peak evolution.

by The Jeff S February 05, 2017

Mapple

An apple orchard map.

Farmer Dave directed us to the Pink Ladies with a hand-drawn mapple, and we picked a bushel.

by The Jeff S January 13, 2024