Definitions by The Jeff S

apprize 

When you don't win a sweepstake and the sponsor feels obligated to tell you who did, they apprize you of the winner.

I wish they hadn't apprized me of who won the car. He doesn't look like he needed it as much as I do.

apprize by The Jeff S May 13, 2021

coronacopia 

The growing volume of people and places that can give you the corona virus. Handshakes, desk surfaces, door handles, sneezes...

On the way home from {work} today I had to avoid a whole coronacopia of disease... does my forehead feel warm to you?

coronacopia by The Jeff S March 9, 2020

Caned Out 

To cane out is to become so old and decrepit that one can only walk with a cane or canes.

Pops turned 90 this year, and between the arthritic knees and feeble muscles, he just caned out. Can't walk without them.

Caned Out by The Jeff S June 18, 2019

Business Card 

A rectangle with your name on it.

I walked around the convention center handing people business cards.

Business Card by The Jeff S March 21, 2019

Delope 

If you elope and then divorce, that is to delope.

They eloped, but eventually the marriage fell apart and they divorced; they deloped.

Delope by The Jeff S January 4, 2019

Woot-toot!

"Woot-woot" is defined by the Urban Dictionary as an expression of excitement or joy, typically upon receiving good news. Thus Woot-toot is an expression of excitement upon sensing a joyous or otherwise remarkable fart.

"Moments after finishing his third burrito, my roommate emitted a fart of rare and surprising duration, harmony, and syncopation. 'Woot-toot!' I cried."

Woot-toot! by The Jeff S March 30, 2017

Peak Evolution 

The top of the bell curve in the evolution of man. The point in time at which the betterment of each generation over the previous one ceases to occur, and the species begins to backslide toward stupidity. Peak Evolution occurs when morons procreate faster than the enlightened.

The 2016 election would someday be seen as tangible evidence of peak evolution.

Peak Evolution by The Jeff S February 5, 2017