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Definitions by The Handy Writer

Chronoptimist 

Someone who always underestimates the time necessary to complete a task or project. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“Linda only scheduled three hours to shoot our first corporate video. What a frickin’ chronoptimist.”

Handincredible

Astonishingly and fantastically handy acts made possible through the mad skills you can learn from the Handyman. Adjectival form is permitted. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“No doubt ‘bout it, cuz. That Handyman churned out some wicked handincredible multi-purpose bookshelves.”

Chimplify 

To make an idea or task so simple that even a chimpanzee could comprehend or complete something. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“It’s widely known that Cheney had to chimplify W’s daily presidential briefings; in other words, a Texas monkey couldn’t misunderstand ‘em”.

The Dangly State 

Dave: “The Dangly State seems replete with biscuit-brainers.”
Trev: “Well, you know what they say … all the nuts roll downhill!”

Fugnuggets 

Testicles. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“These overalls make my fugnuggets feel pinchy.”

Biscuit-brained 

Clueless or dimwitted. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
Using a biscuit-brained approach will cost you more money and more time.”

Frangibility Quotient 

The calculable likelihood of something being broken or damaged when handled. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“Now, exercise caution because balsa wood has an extremely high frangibility quotient”.