The Handy Writer's definitions

Frangibility Quotient

The calculable likelihood of something being broken or damaged when handled. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Now, exercise caution because balsa wood has an extremely high frangibility quotient”.

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

uncle fester

To allow a freshly applied substance (usually a liquid like paint, stain, seal, etc.) to set, dry and/or cure. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.

“To achieve a super duper finish on your unfinished cabinet, you’ll need to let your homemade finish uncle fester for at least two hours.”

by The Handy Writer May 9, 2009

Biscuit-brained

Clueless or dimwitted. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Using a biscuit-brained approach will cost you more money and more time.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

First straw

A minor inconvenience. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Oops. Just spilt some coffee on my copy of the morning memo. I guess that’s the first straw.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Shop-Hack

Any of a number of techniques known to only a scarce few (in some instances, just The Handyman) that will simplify any given task whilst working on projects in the Shop. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

Adoring Fan: “Oh, Handyman, how did you become so incredibly knowledgeable in the handy arts?”
The Handyman: “Ever since I was in diapees, I’ve been formulatin’ and calculatin’ to come up with the best shortcuts for just about anything handy. I refer to each pearl of woody wisdom in my handy bag of tricks as a Shop-Hack.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Chimplify

To make an idea or task so simple that even a chimpanzee could comprehend or complete something. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“It’s widely known that Cheney had to chimplify W’s daily presidential briefings; in other words, a Texas monkey couldn’t misunderstand ‘em”.

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Malicious Obedience

The Modus Operandi adopted by those who work for people convinced of their own infallible decision-making prowess, where one gleefully does what they’re told, even though they know it’s misguided, and waiting for the moment when it all blows up in their supervisor’s face. The precursor to schadenfreude. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

Mildred: “I can’t believe the IT Department insists on designing our web site without consulting you, the Graphic Designer, but then expects you to create the lame artwork for it the day before we go live.”
Trev: “I have pledged them my full and complete malicious obedience. It’ll be a disaster, fo’ shizzle.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009