28 definitions by The Grottomaster
The secret process sought by all boys of puberty age after they discover that their eyes are going to cross, that they have given themselves venereal disease, and all the other various horror myths which adult men tell them about masturbation.
Buddy has been asking all his uncles on the sly how to unmasturbate because his crotch has suddenly begun to itch and he thinks he's given himself the clap.
by The Grottomaster June 27, 2011
A semi-acronym for a particular type of processed sandwich loaf, in this case, Brain, Eyeball, Anus, Snout, and Tail loaf. *Deluxe* BEAST-loaf costs a little more and is made up of: Brain, Eyeball, Anus, Snout, and *Titty*.
by The Grottomaster April 19, 2011
An affliction, chiefly of the skin, where one breaks out in body sores which seep with pus subsequent to eating exclusively at McDonald's for a month or more. A secondary symptom is uncontrollable diarrhea coupled with spontaneous projectile vomiting. When such people habitually take home leftovers and feed them to their dogs, it often results in *yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye." There is no known cure for this ailment.
He found a breaded and fried chicken head in his McNuggets and stopped eating there but it was too late -- he had already developed meatox.
by The Grottomaster May 30, 2011
An Appalachian noun describing either a fish of very large dimension or an unusually large pecker, (on either an animal or a human.) The 'g' has a soft pronunciation, like a 'j-sound'.
by The Grottomaster May 14, 2011
The aggregation of people planet-wide, (but chiefly in America), who contribute absolutely nothing beneficial to society and who pass through life virtually unnoticed, except when they offend. These people typically jump from one low-paying job to another, (if they have a job), never serve in the military, manifest mediocrity of geological magnitude, have no hobbies, and every one of them owns an elaborate cell phone which is perpetually activated while conversing about some non-topic to another member of this dubious group. Generally speaking, such folks are parasites on society, taking advantage of every government giveaway program in existence.
Key locations to observe such people include McDonald's, Wal-Mart, laundromats, and hospital emergency rooms. They almost always travel in packs, (family and peer units), and at least two to three cell phones will be evident when they are present.
Key locations to observe such people include McDonald's, Wal-Mart, laundromats, and hospital emergency rooms. They almost always travel in packs, (family and peer units), and at least two to three cell phones will be evident when they are present.
It's the first of the month and we'll have to elbow our way through the societal debris to do any shopping at Wal-Mart.
by The Grottomaster June 2, 2011
A person, usually male, who boasts incessantly of a particular carnal conquest and a few days later develops syphillis.
Bob wouldn't stop bragging about his wild one-nighter until he became the sore winner, chancre sores and all.
by The Grottomaster May 25, 2011
The artistic product of the male pervert who climbs atop the photocopy machine naked, presses his genitals to the glass, and pushes the print button.
As the glass was clean on the photocopy machine last evening, and as it is smudged with crotch-cheese this morning, I suspect that the janitor was making Carbon cockprints all night.
by The Grottomaster April 22, 2011