Terry Deary's definitions

you've been tangoed

(inf. phrase) In reference to the bumming scene in the 1973 Bertolucci movie "Last Tango In Paris" and the popular 1990s TV commercials for the soft drink "Tango" - when you've just shot your creamy load up a bird's arse, this phrase makes the perfect accompaniment to a post-coital cigarette, all the more poignant if you have used butter or Tango as lube.

Me: Was that Cadbury canal cruise good for you too?
Bumslut: (crying) No! It was horrible and painful, and it's all sticky because of the cum, butter and Tango!
Me: Unlucky, bumslut - You've Been Tangoed!

by Terry Deary August 28, 2006

chip an' chee

n. (a.k.a. chips and cheese) commonplace British delicacy, to be found in almost every 3am eaterie for around £2.00. Profoundly sautéed in 'graisse animale', the chips (fries to non-UK English speakers) are then drowned to taste in traditional seasoning (table-salt and industrial malt vinegar) before the 'pièce de résistance' - a delightful coat of the cheapest plasticky "cheddar-syle" cheese available. Voilà! Delicious.

The mis-pronounciation is a direct hommage, if you will, to the owners and employees of Britain's millions of kebab shops, and their unilateral endearing trait of being unable to speak English.

*3 o'clock a.m., any town centre in the UK*
Turkish guy at till: Whatchoo wan'?
Drunk customer: What? £5 for a kebab? I'll have fookin' chips and cheese then.
Turkish guy (to the guy doing the frying): Ey Sanjeet, two chip an' chee!

by Terry Deary February 28, 2006

mindbeef

v. to 'beef' with someone's mind; could be brainwashing, confusing, disorienting etc etc.

n. a 'mindbeef' (the act of mindbeefing); either 1. a tactic of confusing or 'psyching out' someone, or 2. (inf.) to skull-fuck; vigourous oral sex

Frank: I had sex with your mother last night.
Dave: Stop beefing with my mind!

(At the prison showers)
Bubba: You gettin' mindbeef'd faggot
Weiner doing time for income tax evasion: Gulp!

by Terry Deary June 3, 2005

bawspank

v. fig. to pwn somebody.
v. lit. to slap someone's testicles.

Lads, remember when Shakespeare got bawspanked by Joe Tash?

Me: What's yu0r favourite movie?
Shakespeare: The Bawspank Redemption

by Terry Deary June 3, 2005

on tour

vt. ("to go on tour"); to go clubbing or on a pub crawl with a collection of acquaintances, with the sole mission to get as bladdered as possible and generally behave in a leary and lecherous manner. See also on the sauce, on the razzle dazzle.

A keen pasttime of

Me: "So are you guys on tour, to the teef?"
Jamie: "Aye, heavy to the who! Bushtucker tour 2006!"

by Terry Deary July 24, 2006