n. Has several, widespread meanings - often depending on geography - such as blowjob or underwear. Can also be used as a generic insult.
The word is best used, however, to describe enemies who must be eliminated in videogames.
The word is best used, however, to describe enemies who must be eliminated in videogames.
Me (playing Goldeneye: Jesus, I'm getting blasted to fuck here! There's way too many gonks!
You (advising me): There's one to your right...
Me: Oh shit, I'm dead. These gonks just didn't stop. Fucking gonks.
You (advising me): There's one to your right...
Me: Oh shit, I'm dead. These gonks just didn't stop. Fucking gonks.
by Terry Deary December 07, 2006
n. (sometimes "elephant impersonation") To open your pockets out, unzip your fly, and whip it out, thus your pockets bearing vague resemblance to elephant ears, and your walloper to the beast's trunk.
The more ardent of impersonators will paint his beef dagger grey, then gel his pubes outwards and paint them white, to give the impression of tusks.
The more ardent of impersonators will paint his beef dagger grey, then gel his pubes outwards and paint them white, to give the impression of tusks.
The kids weren't amused by his balloon shapes or his juggling, and Coco the clown was running out of ideas. He had to make sure these kids had fun or he wouldn't get paid for the gig. All of a sudden, he had a stroke of genius!
"Say, kids..." whispered Coco, "do you like wild animals?"
"Yeah! Yeah!" yelled the brats excitedly.
"Well, what luck!" the clown laughed, "'cos I just happen to have my pet elephant with me today!"
"Hooray!" shouted the kids.
Coco was fined £5000, put on the Sex Offenders' Register and sentenced to 3 years without parole for indecent exposure to minors.
Elephant impressions are not suitable for children under 10 years old.
"Say, kids..." whispered Coco, "do you like wild animals?"
"Yeah! Yeah!" yelled the brats excitedly.
"Well, what luck!" the clown laughed, "'cos I just happen to have my pet elephant with me today!"
"Hooray!" shouted the kids.
Coco was fined £5000, put on the Sex Offenders' Register and sentenced to 3 years without parole for indecent exposure to minors.
Elephant impressions are not suitable for children under 10 years old.
by Terry Deary August 29, 2006
n. Of a human, the orifice which excretes waste, most probably due to the semi-resemblance to the closed eye of an Oriental person. The brown eye, the ringpiece, the rusty sherrif's badge.
Dr. Proctor: Now Mrs. Jones, what seems to be the problem?
Mrs. Jones: I'm having trouble passing solids, doc.
Dr. Proctor: I see. Now, Mrs. Jones, if you could remove your undergarments and bend over, please.
Mrs. Jones: Is everything okay, doctor?
Dr. Proctor: Mrs. Jones, I must prescribe a daily course of backdoor surprises immediately, your winking chink's eye is as tight as a corset string.
Mrs. Jones: I'm having trouble passing solids, doc.
Dr. Proctor: I see. Now, Mrs. Jones, if you could remove your undergarments and bend over, please.
Mrs. Jones: Is everything okay, doctor?
Dr. Proctor: Mrs. Jones, I must prescribe a daily course of backdoor surprises immediately, your winking chink's eye is as tight as a corset string.
by Terry Deary February 24, 2006
n. A tool used to draw the beef curtains; a smaller but meatier pork sword; a dangerous stabbing weapon most effective when targetting the rusty sheriff's badge or when thrown into salmon canyon; the giggle stick.
Man: Hey honey, what say we uncork a bottle of Chardonnay, snuggle up and watch The Notebook together?
Wife: Oh, how romantic!!!
Man: Actually, scrap that idea - how about you bend over and I'll thrust a beef dagger into your treacherous brown eye.
Wife: Oh no, not again!
Man: Spread 'em, bumslut!
Wife: Oh, how romantic!!!
Man: Actually, scrap that idea - how about you bend over and I'll thrust a beef dagger into your treacherous brown eye.
Wife: Oh no, not again!
Man: Spread 'em, bumslut!
by Terry Deary August 29, 2006
n. inf(!) A hoor who specializes in backdoor delivery, and has become so familiar with Cadbury Lane olympics that she desires and eventually, REQUIRES, a daily dose of sodomy.
Priest: Do you, Terry, promise to turn this respectful, sweet and innocent young lady into a nasty, filthy, fusty, slimy, cummy, rotten, shitty, dirty, skanky, rancid, foul, putrid, fetid, horrible little bumslut?
Me: I do.
Priest: And do you, Germaine, promise to take a regular rectal rogering from your betrothed as and when he demands?
Bumslut: I do.
Priest: We now conclude the ceremony by explaining in graphic detail and diagram the foul, ungodly, unforgivable anal action which will tonight take place in Germaine's pink, pristine, virgin bumhole to her father.
Father: I might kill myself if you do that.
Me: Amen.
Me: I do.
Priest: And do you, Germaine, promise to take a regular rectal rogering from your betrothed as and when he demands?
Bumslut: I do.
Priest: We now conclude the ceremony by explaining in graphic detail and diagram the foul, ungodly, unforgivable anal action which will tonight take place in Germaine's pink, pristine, virgin bumhole to her father.
Father: I might kill myself if you do that.
Me: Amen.
by Terry Deary August 28, 2006