Telephony's definitions

Class A-1 prick

Not to be confused with a regular prick (or a fucktard, dickweed, assrat bastard, etc.); a mofo who has reached the status of Class A-1 prick is a real waste of bungwipe and really needs to be exterminated like the bug he or she really is.

Jason is such a Class A-1 prick for bringing a ghetto blaster to church and blasting Slayer music out of it!!! :-O

by Telephony May 6, 2012

shampoopoo

Shampoo that while it sound like it would be pleasant when you read the label in a store, really sucks big walrus cock when you take it home and use it; forcing you to dump it in the toliet or down the lavatory drain and purchase a new bottle of some other variety.

Not to be confused with shampiss, shampee, shampiddle, or shampotty.

{Mike, at store}: Hey Chris, didn't you just buy a big-ass bottle of shampoo a day or so ago?

{Chris, at same store}: Yeah Mike, but it was shampoopoo! It was Suave Lotus Pedals but it really smelled like shit so I got rid of it!

by Telephony June 21, 2012

pisscan

\PIS'kan\ (n.) A somewhat vulgar slang term for a wall-mounted porcelain urinal.

Hey, I need to use the f'ing pisscan before we leave!!!

by Telephony June 22, 2012

jackasshammer

A jackhammer that's been fired up nearby so early that it rousts you out of bed.

Those construction workers started using a gosh-darn-diddly-arn jackasshammer next door that got my ass out of bed at 6:30 this morning -- and it's a Saturday for Christ sakes!!!

by Telephony July 28, 2012

fuzzbomb

A furry critter (usually small like a rat, a gerbil, a hamster, etc., but larger animals like cats can also be fuzzbombs) that one has as a pet; esp. a pet that an individual has become highly attached to.

{Craig}: Nikki! Here kitty kitty kitty! Here Nikki! Come here, my special little fuzzbomb! That's a good girl!!!

by Telephony August 24, 2012

shorty

Another name for a snipe -- that is -- a cigarrette that's been extinguished in an ashtray (or by other means) that's still long enough to be smokeable. You can also harvest the tobacco out of shorties, put the tobacco in a plastic baggie, and use it to make a rollie (two shorties should yield sufficient tobacco to make one rollie).

{Homeless guy}: Hey Stan! Check that sand urn in front of the municipal building; I hear that a lot more than just a single shorty can be gotten there -- in fact, a lot of snipes should be in there after lunchtime!!!

by Telephony August 27, 2012

asshaberdasher

A true buttsnoipe who leads a number of surrounding individuals into total asshaberdashery.

{At a large house party}

Mike: See that asshaberdasher over there?
Linda: Yeah, he's goading the crowd into total and complete asshattery! What a fucking buttsnoipe!!!

by Telephony November 27, 2011