Telephony's definitions

synthetic washboards

The sound of a washboard being played, but generated solely by computer hardware or software synthesis.
No real washboards are folded, spindled, or mutilated when synthetic washboards are being employed.

The smartphone video game, "Undersea Match & Build" has plenty of synthetic washboards in one piece of its zax.

by Telephony October 20, 2019

shiiiiTAKE (mushrooms)

You use the phrase, "shiiiiTAKE (mushrooms)" where you might otherwise use the word, "shit"; such as if there are young children around or if you're on forums (or, "fora" if you want to be a dick about it) where the words shit and shittake are forbidden or censored (yes, a forum that I'm on censors the word shittake!!!).

{in a room where a toddler is present}: Gosh I don't want to go; I feel like shiiiiTAKE (mushrooms) this morning.

by Telephony October 22, 2019

wipe of bung

Toilet paper, plain and simple.
You wipe poo off of your bunghole with it, and then dispose of it by flushing (in most countries anyway).

Also known as bungwipe, rollios, TP, poliet taper.

{Eric}: Hey Martha, can you please get me some wipe of bung out of the cabinet just outside the bathroom? I'd get it myself but I just took a plop and I'm still sitting on the shitbowl.

by Telephony December 9, 2020

mowould

How singer Steve Harwell of the group Smash Mouth says the word, "mould" in the song, "All Star".

♪ And all that glitters is gold, ♪
♪ Only shooting stars break the mowould! ♪

by Telephony December 11, 2020

urinepenis

Plain and simple: a peacock.
"Pea" sounds like, "pee" and, "cock" is self-explanatory.

Didja hear that the zoo has a new urinepenis on display?

by Telephony December 11, 2020

carafee

Carafee (pron. "\kə-RAf' ē"\): How some people pronounce the word, "carafe" (pron. "\kə-ˈRAF\") -- you know, like one of those glass coffeepots from a coffeemaker or a glass wine decanter.

{Paul}: I douched out the carafee but the coffee still tastes like shit.
{Craig} Maybe you need to wash the filter basket too.

by Telephony December 19, 2020

busted

The past tense of the word, "broken".

{Seen on a YouTube video of a drone being flown}

While flying my drone, I "heard" this phoney-bologna fake fictional song, sung to the tune of, "Row, Row, Row Your Boat".
To wit:

♪ Fly fly fly my drone ♪
♪ Fly on your behalf, ♪
♪ Merrily merrily merrily ♪
♪ Santa busted the carafe.♪ (pron., "/kəˈræf/")

by Telephony December 20, 2020