Telephony's definitions

woodpeckerhead

A woodpecker (sp. Picidae) that, from some angles, its head looks like a pecker (dick, cock, willie, johnson, penus, penis, etc. is known as a woodpeckerhead.

Look at the head of that woodpecker over there! It's a woodpeckerhead!!!

by Telephony April 6, 2015

ghost shit

Another name for those little styrofoam packing turds.

When Jim opened this big-ass box, all of this ghost shit came pouring out, but the product itself was no larger than a cigarette lighter!

by Telephony November 2, 2013

hamster mouth

What presidential-elect Donald Trump had when he was campaigning.

If you looked at his cocksucker when he was talking, his lips would very frequently become pursed and it looked as though he were a hamster -- or even a fish at times.

Hey Carolyn!ain,trail
Trump is having this TV debate with Hillary -- you've just got to see his hamster mouth, hahaha!!!

by Telephony January 15, 2017

cannoñata

From the now-defunct TV series, "Viva Piñata": The cannoñata (pronounced as though it were spelled, "cannonada") is a fictional device designed to shoot piñatas to piñata parties from its location (Piñata Central aka. Party Central, in very close proximity to the candiosity meter) on picturesque Piñata Island.

{Langston Lickatoad}: Get over here Fergy, time to get your candiosity checked and get you loaded into the cannoñata!

by Telephony October 31, 2014

Sonic Z

The opposite of Sonic X -- that is, Sonic the Hedgehog that moves extremely slowly.

{The Sonic X theme song but with torpedoed lyrics}

♪ Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow, gotta stop slow, ♪
♪ Gotta stop slower, slower, slower, slower, slower ♪
♪ Movin' at speed of dark (make tracks) ♪
♪ Slowest hedgehog it barks ♪
♪ Got ourselves a situation, stuck in a new location, ♪
♪ Without any explanation, no double relaxation! ♪
♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't think, don't stink, ♪
♪ Just stop, stop, stop, stop, s-s-s-s-stop, stop! ♪
♪ Gotta avoid the ♪
♪ Bam Slam Gadget! ♪
♪ Sonic, he's not the hero! ♪
♪ Sonic, he's number zero! ♪
♪ Sonic, he's coming whee!, ♪
♪ So watch out... For Sonic Z! ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow (Sonic!), gotta stop slow (Sonic!), ♪
♪ Gotta stop slower, slower, slower, slower, slower! ♪
♪ Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! ♪
♪ So... (Sonic) nic... (Sonic) Z, ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow! ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow! ♪
♪ Gotta stop slower, slower, slower, slower, ♪
♪ Sonic Z! ♪ :-)

by Telephony July 8, 2019

Cleanax

How the name, "Kleenex" (a major brand of nasal tissue) is sometimes spelled, because when you hear somebody say Kleenex it often comes out sounding like, "Cleanax".

{Drake}: Hey Josh, can you pass me a Cleanax?
{Josh}: Fuck you Drake, go get your own goddamn Cleanax!!!

by Telephony May 20, 2013

marinal

In most instances, a marinal is just a motorised marinator.
But at the Kentucky Fried Chicken at Kenmore WA. USA in 1987, the marinator was called the marinal cos some total true-blue asshaberdasher kept using it as a urinal. As a fucking URINAL for Christ sakes!!!

{Craig}: Todd, it's your turn to douche out the marinal tonight.
{Todd}: Fuck you and the horse that rode you in!!!
{Craig}: The hell with it. I'm gonna knark on you for turning the marinator into the marinal!

by Telephony August 18, 2018