Telephony's definitions

The aTRUMPinator

Very similar to The Assassinator -- some very intelligent person (***NOT*** a true-blue total asshaberdasher!) who assassinates President-Elect Donald Trump.

The aTRUMPinator was on the prowl for Trump not far from the Trump Tower in New York (which was firebombed the other day) looking to assassinate the asshole before he took the Oath of Office.

by Telephony December 12, 2016

homo run

What a gay baseball player might hit if he hits one over the fence (either as a solo home run or a grand salami).

{radio announcer}
And Andrew Melling #24 is at the plate now...1-2 pitch...and ...he just hit a homo run!!!

by Telephony December 9, 2016

thingies

Boobs, as Butt-Head on MTVs "Beavis and Butt-Head" calls them.

I just wanna feel every part of me
Touching every part of you, huh-huh-huh
Especially your thingies, huh-huh-huh

by Telephony December 2, 2016

inseminator

Another word for penis (tallywhacker, dick, dong, prick, cock, ding-a-ling, etc.)

My Ipod reports the song, "Penis I See" by Gwar as, "Inseminator I Optically Image". How fucking queer!

by Telephony November 25, 2016

Hammermaker Schlemmner

What some people call Hammacher Schlemmer -- the catalogue of somewhat unusual (and usually quite expen$ive) products that's been around since 1848.

Hey Dean! I just got the Holiday 2016 copy of the Hammermaker Schlemmner catalogue, and they have a self-heating bathrobe in it! I think I'll get on the blower and order one right now!

by Telephony November 24, 2016

defecal

A defecal is a plumbing fixture used for collecting & then disposing of defecation (poop). It is a portmanteau of the words, "defecate" and, "urinal".

The defecal is a bit like a urinal -- only the defecal is used solely for taking a plop. If you piss into a defecal, it will require maintanence -- much as a urinal would if you drop a deuce into it.

Hey James, this defecal is fucked up; some true-blue total asshaberdasher must have pissed into it! Any idea where another one is cause I really have to leave a shit!

by Telephony November 22, 2016

faggy clothes

Another term for, "gay apparel".
N.B., the word gay didn't mean back in the 19th century when the song, "Deck the Halls" was written what it means in the 21st century. :-/

Definitions:
19th century: Gay = bright & lively, NOT homosexual.
21st century: Gay = a total faggot man! Do I have to spell it out for you? ;-)

Deck the Halls: how it's supposed to go:

♫Deck the halls with boughs of holly, ♫
♫Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♫
♫Tis the season to be jolly,♫

♫Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♫
♫Don we now our gay apparel, ♫
♫Fa la la, la la la, la la la. ♫

How it COULD go:

♫Deck the halls with boughs of holly, ♫
♫Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♫
♫Tis the season to be jolly,♫
♫Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♫
♫Putting on our faggy clothes, ♫
♫Fa la la, la la la, la la la. ♫

by Telephony November 11, 2016