When a person feels embarassment when buying condoms. This was very common in most of us the first several times we ever bought condoms. we would hesitate forever before picking up the box or pack and going over to pay for them. Or worse, some stores had them behind the counter, so we had to ask. WE would hesitate, stammer, stutter before working up the courage. Eventually most people do get over Condom Shame. Condom Shame is perfectly natural, due to our conditioning when growing up that sex is 'naughty' or 'dirty'.
Even being over Condom Shame, you can still possibly experience Condom Shame once in awhile. I, Ted Rimmel Jr once suffered condom shame years after being over Condom Shame. I go into the pharmacy to buy condoms. I have 2 boxes each of ultra thin and of ribbed for her pleasure. A girl who knows me somewhat is the cashier. There is a line behind me as I go to checkout. The conversation went "Hi Ted" "Hi." "You planning a big special weekend are ya?" "No". Girl says as she taps on condom boxes "Come on, I can see." I said "Well yes, it is a very big weekend." The girl picks up the condoms, rings them up. As she rings them up she proceeds to tell me (somewhat loudly)"Aww Ted I KNOW your mother is absolutely going to love you using these with her. Truly." There I was suffering an episode of Condom Shame.
Even being over Condom Shame, you can still possibly experience Condom Shame once in awhile. I, Ted Rimmel Jr once suffered condom shame years after being over Condom Shame. I go into the pharmacy to buy condoms. I have 2 boxes each of ultra thin and of ribbed for her pleasure. A girl who knows me somewhat is the cashier. There is a line behind me as I go to checkout. The conversation went "Hi Ted" "Hi." "You planning a big special weekend are ya?" "No". Girl says as she taps on condom boxes "Come on, I can see." I said "Well yes, it is a very big weekend." The girl picks up the condoms, rings them up. As she rings them up she proceeds to tell me (somewhat loudly)"Aww Ted I KNOW your mother is absolutely going to love you using these with her. Truly." There I was suffering an episode of Condom Shame.
"What took you so long in the pharmacy? You were just going to pick up a couple things."
"Well I had to buy condoms, and it took me awhile to work up the courage. I guess I was suffering from a bad case of Condom Shame."
"Well I had to buy condoms, and it took me awhile to work up the courage. I guess I was suffering from a bad case of Condom Shame."
by Ted Rimmel Jr December 04, 2024
Get the Condom Shame mug.Suburban private life is that part of your life that you keep hidden, keep to yourself, or just generally do not want the general public to know about nor to be involved in. The suburban part is simply you are living in the suburbs, so your private life is suburban.
It can also be the private part of your life (as above) that you would like to keep to yourself, but for whatever reason you are not able to keep it to yourself or keep it hidden. Once again since you live in the suburbs it is a suburban private life.
Ted Rimmel Jr's (me) suburban private life was absolutely laid bare whenever proof positive occurred that the rumors and gossip that Ted's mother is also his girlfriend were all true and accurate all along. Basically you could say Ted Rimmel Jr's suburban private life instantly became Ted Rimmel Jr's suburban public life, whether I was ready for that to happen or not. Ted Rimmel Jr's suburban private life is long gone.
It can also be the private part of your life (as above) that you would like to keep to yourself, but for whatever reason you are not able to keep it to yourself or keep it hidden. Once again since you live in the suburbs it is a suburban private life.
Ted Rimmel Jr's (me) suburban private life was absolutely laid bare whenever proof positive occurred that the rumors and gossip that Ted's mother is also his girlfriend were all true and accurate all along. Basically you could say Ted Rimmel Jr's suburban private life instantly became Ted Rimmel Jr's suburban public life, whether I was ready for that to happen or not. Ted Rimmel Jr's suburban private life is long gone.
"Oh man, Oh man, oh my. I knew when Ted Rimmel Jr got caught in the act with his mother that Ted's suburban private life would be no longer private. It is sort of Ted's suburban public life now, hahaha."
"Yeah hahaha. Just imagine how Ted felt. Sort of a double whammy. Suddenly it becomes known that his mother is his girlfriend. That had to be a shock realizing you have just been exposed as dating your mom, your own mom, has to be embarrassing. Then the double whammy that that nugget of news is way too interesting to keep to one's self, so everybody is going to talk about it over and over. Then the shocker Ted knew was coming, his extra hidden suburban private life was indeed now public. Poor Ted, hahahaha."
"Yeah hahaha. Just imagine how Ted felt. Sort of a double whammy. Suddenly it becomes known that his mother is his girlfriend. That had to be a shock realizing you have just been exposed as dating your mom, your own mom, has to be embarrassing. Then the double whammy that that nugget of news is way too interesting to keep to one's self, so everybody is going to talk about it over and over. Then the shocker Ted knew was coming, his extra hidden suburban private life was indeed now public. Poor Ted, hahahaha."
by Ted Rimmel Jr December 04, 2024
Get the suburban private life mug.To expand on a previous definition: A text message a male sends his mother that is sexually explicit in nature. This text message is (usually) accidental (except in my case), (usually) meant to inquire concerning sexual activity with another person, and (usually) sent under the influence of intoxicating substances (not in my case).
In Ted Rimmel Jr's situation: A text message (actually hundreds of text messages) Ted sends his mother that is sexually explicit in nature. These text messages are always on purpose, never ever accidental. These text messages are always meant to inquire concerning sexual activity with his mother, and always sent when Ted is perfectly sober.
In Ted Rimmel Jr's situation: A text message (actually hundreds of text messages) Ted sends his mother that is sexually explicit in nature. These text messages are always on purpose, never ever accidental. These text messages are always meant to inquire concerning sexual activity with his mother, and always sent when Ted is perfectly sober.
Ted's mom (upon receiving the very first Oedpus Texts): "These messages you sent, what is up?"
Ted: "Aaaahhh, I may have been a bit drunk and sent it to wrong person."
Ted's mom: "Nonsense.You do not drink. And besides, you have me listed as Mom on your contacts list, and to top it off, you began each message with "Mom.... or hey Mom....."
Ted: "Aaaahhh ....well...ummm...Aaaahhh."
Ted's mom: "Do not um and ah. These were clearly meant for me. Someone seeing these texts would say you are in love with me. Is that it Ted, are you in love with your mother? Because these texts clearly indicate that."
Ted: "Yes Mom it is true. All of it. The texts were clearly meant for you. I truly am in love with you, so these texts would be known as Oedipus Texts."
Ted: "Aaaahhh, I may have been a bit drunk and sent it to wrong person."
Ted's mom: "Nonsense.You do not drink. And besides, you have me listed as Mom on your contacts list, and to top it off, you began each message with "Mom.... or hey Mom....."
Ted: "Aaaahhh ....well...ummm...Aaaahhh."
Ted's mom: "Do not um and ah. These were clearly meant for me. Someone seeing these texts would say you are in love with me. Is that it Ted, are you in love with your mother? Because these texts clearly indicate that."
Ted: "Yes Mom it is true. All of it. The texts were clearly meant for you. I truly am in love with you, so these texts would be known as Oedipus Texts."
by Ted Rimmel Jr August 01, 2024
Get the Oedipus Text mug.A nice sounding alternate word for vagina. The word punani has almost a flowery sound to the word. If you were to hear it used in conversation, it would sound way less vulgar than some of the other alternate names for vagina. However, most people would still get the meaning of what you were talking about.
For instance, if I were to say Ted Rimmel Jr spends a lot of time sliding into his mother's punani. Or Ted Rimmel Jr sure is addicted to his mother's punani. The meaning of those statements is still clear, even though the word punani was used.
For instance, if I were to say Ted Rimmel Jr spends a lot of time sliding into his mother's punani. Or Ted Rimmel Jr sure is addicted to his mother's punani. The meaning of those statements is still clear, even though the word punani was used.
Girl 1: "Where is Ted today?"
Guy1: "You mean Ted Rimmel Jr? He is undoubtedly humping his mother's punani, hahaha."
Girl 1: "Knowing him, probably, haha. But really, you used such a nice sounding word like punani with such a vulgar word as humping."
Guy 1: "What should I say then?"
Girl 1: "You could say 'Ted Rimmel Jr is probably probing his mother's punani.' Or even 'Knowing him, Ted Rimmel Jr is undoubtedly piping his mother's punani.' Those two statements sound nicer than your's did. Either way I do agree that Ted Rimmel Jr is so very addicted to his mom's punani, hahahaha.'
Guy1: "You mean Ted Rimmel Jr? He is undoubtedly humping his mother's punani, hahaha."
Girl 1: "Knowing him, probably, haha. But really, you used such a nice sounding word like punani with such a vulgar word as humping."
Guy 1: "What should I say then?"
Girl 1: "You could say 'Ted Rimmel Jr is probably probing his mother's punani.' Or even 'Knowing him, Ted Rimmel Jr is undoubtedly piping his mother's punani.' Those two statements sound nicer than your's did. Either way I do agree that Ted Rimmel Jr is so very addicted to his mom's punani, hahahaha.'
by Ted Rimmel Jr December 04, 2024
Get the Punani mug.Nervouscited is being nervous about something while at the same time being excited. Feeling both nervousness and excitement at the very same time
Ted Rimmel Jr (me) was nervous and excited at the same time when I realized rumors and gossip had been going around about me being in love with my mother. Very nervous because the rumors and gossip were totally accurate (and true!!), yet I felt excited for the fact it was just rumors and gossip, nobody had proven any of them true. Months later I got caught with Mom. Suddenly I was hyper nervous due to knowing everybody was going to be talking about this and spreading it all around. Yet I was a different type`of excited this time, at the thought of me having no control over stopping it, and of my secret now being literally impossible to hide from then on. I was very nervouscited.
Ted Rimmel Jr (me) was nervous and excited at the same time when I realized rumors and gossip had been going around about me being in love with my mother. Very nervous because the rumors and gossip were totally accurate (and true!!), yet I felt excited for the fact it was just rumors and gossip, nobody had proven any of them true. Months later I got caught with Mom. Suddenly I was hyper nervous due to knowing everybody was going to be talking about this and spreading it all around. Yet I was a different type`of excited this time, at the thought of me having no control over stopping it, and of my secret now being literally impossible to hide from then on. I was very nervouscited.
"I am nervous about my new job I will be starting next week. However I am also very excited at the opportunities for advancement it will provide. I am nervouscited."
by Ted Rimmel Jr December 04, 2024
Get the nervouscited mug.A reality joke is a joke told, but the joke turns out to be reality, or a real situation. This can be unintentional, as in someone has no idea the joke is about something real. But it is often intentional, where someone knows the situation is real, and makes the joke to make fun of someone or something. So a reality joke gift would be a gag gift or a joke type gift. The gift is given either to be funny, as in the gift giver has no idea the joke is reality; or the gift can be given to make fun of someone, as in the gift giver knows the joke is reality or based in reality.
I, Ted Rimmel Jr have been on the receiving end of a reality joke gift. This was before it was known that I was involved in a secret love affair with my mother. But accurate rumors and gossip began to spread about it. Anyhow, it was my birthday party. At the party were a large group of my friends, my sister, and my mom (all adults). I proceeded to open gifts. One gift was women's sexy lingerie, nylon stockings, a pair of high heels. Next gift was a carton of condoms (12 dozen). Next was an envelope containing a letter stating that Mom and I had use of a friend's cabin for two weeks.My friends explained "The lingerie, nylons, heels is for your mother. The condoms are for you. The cabin is for both of you to spend two weeks alone together. In the cabin your mom wears the lingerie, nylons, heels, you wear the condoms, then you get your true birthday gift. Happy Birthday Ted!! An absolute reality joke gift.
I, Ted Rimmel Jr have been on the receiving end of a reality joke gift. This was before it was known that I was involved in a secret love affair with my mother. But accurate rumors and gossip began to spread about it. Anyhow, it was my birthday party. At the party were a large group of my friends, my sister, and my mom (all adults). I proceeded to open gifts. One gift was women's sexy lingerie, nylon stockings, a pair of high heels. Next gift was a carton of condoms (12 dozen). Next was an envelope containing a letter stating that Mom and I had use of a friend's cabin for two weeks.My friends explained "The lingerie, nylons, heels is for your mother. The condoms are for you. The cabin is for both of you to spend two weeks alone together. In the cabin your mom wears the lingerie, nylons, heels, you wear the condoms, then you get your true birthday gift. Happy Birthday Ted!! An absolute reality joke gift.
Chad: "Ted received a reality joke gift during his birthday party. He received lingerie, stockings, high heels for his mother to wear. He received a carton of condoms for him to use. His mother and him received a two week stay in the cabin, so he could get his real happy birthday present, hahaha."
Alexis: "Oh I get it, a joke gift, but definitely based on reality. A reality joke gift."
Alexis: "Oh I get it, a joke gift, but definitely based on reality. A reality joke gift."
by Ted Rimmel Jr December 04, 2024
Get the reality joke gift mug.A word or name used in place of using a person's name. The word or name can be a shortened version of a person's first name, or sometimes a shortened form of a person's last name. The word or name can also be a joke, or a description of a person's physical traits, or a description of some aspect of a person's personality. Commonly though the word or name is given to a person as a way to make fun of that person.
In my case, my nicknames were given to me as a way to make fun of me. When rumors and gossip started circulating about me dating my mother, nicknames began forming. Later, after being caught a few times, it became established truth that I, Ted Rimmel Jr, am truly in love with and dating my mother the nicknames stuck. My nicknames are based around the Oedipus Complex (when a guy is attracted to and in love with his mother)...for obvious reasons.
Ted Rimmel Jr's nicknames are: Oedipus Complextreme, Oedipus Complexquisite, Oedipus Complexample, and Oedipus Complexed.
In my case, my nicknames were given to me as a way to make fun of me. When rumors and gossip started circulating about me dating my mother, nicknames began forming. Later, after being caught a few times, it became established truth that I, Ted Rimmel Jr, am truly in love with and dating my mother the nicknames stuck. My nicknames are based around the Oedipus Complex (when a guy is attracted to and in love with his mother)...for obvious reasons.
Ted Rimmel Jr's nicknames are: Oedipus Complextreme, Oedipus Complexquisite, Oedipus Complexample, and Oedipus Complexed.
"I hear one of Ted Rimmel Jr's nicknames is Oedipus Complexample."
"Did you hear about Ted Rimmel Jr? Oh you did. I gave him the new nickname Oedipus Complexed. No surprise the nickname stuck! Hahahaha."
"Did you hear about Ted Rimmel Jr? Oh you did. I gave him the new nickname Oedipus Complexed. No surprise the nickname stuck! Hahahaha."
by Ted Rimmel Jr December 03, 2024
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