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Antipasti

The FSM version of the antichrist

Also known as "antipasta".
The antipasti will surely doom us all...
by Submitters of Words April 28, 2011
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fristian

Fred Phelps is probably the quintessential fristian. What a jerk!
by Submitters of Words August 2, 2011
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Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder

The tendency for conservatives to think largely in terms of black and white for every single issue on the planet. Mostly a result of an absolutist religious upbringing, I believe.

An example,

Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.

They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
Liberal: After having considered all the evidence, I don't see any point in incarcerating him. He's not a threat. I fucking hate worthless child molesters but he clearly can't be held responsible for this. Probation should do, just in case I'm wrong. (though i doubt it)

Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.

Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*

Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.

For another example, see black and white thinkers.
by Submitters of Words June 13, 2011
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Kalam Cosmological Argument

An argument for the existence of God that is ultimately self-refuting.
It states that the universe must have had a beginning because "infinity cannot exist in reality", but then how can God exist?
There are many additional reasons why the Kalam Cosmological Argument fails miserably. Just look them up on the Web if you're interested.
by Submitters of Words June 28, 2011
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Wanna have sex?

The singlemost effective pickup line in existence. Try it.
Think about it: You cut right to the chase. Ok sure, statistically, only 1 in 100 women will say yes. And you might get some people mad along the way. But it's still a time saver since you don't have to indulge in any long conversation/pointless flirting etc.
Also, you'll be surprised at how many women appreciate the frank honesty associated with it. No games!
So, whaddya say?
Wanna have sex?
by Submitters of Words June 30, 2011
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Fundamentalist atheism

While some atheists can certainly be annoying and intolerant as fuck, there is actually no such thing as "fundamentalist" atheism.

The definition of a fundamentalist is someone who won't be swayed by evidence - someone who relies on "faith". This is in contrast to the nonbeliever, who relies on hard evidence and reason.

And believe me, the second an intelligent nonbeliever finds a good enough reason to believe in any particular deity, he will do so immediately.
But what sort of evidence would convince a religious person that his faith is false?
"fundamentalist atheism"
Look up the definition of fundamentalism in dictionary, folks. "Angry" atheists are preaching for rationality and a respect for evidence, not faith.
by Submitters of Words June 15, 2011
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Celestial Dictator

Who else but a celestial dictator would set up an eternal concentration camp for nonbelievers?
by Submitters of Words May 12, 2011
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