Haunted Sex

{hawnt-d sekx} noun, 1. Bizarre intercourse using the missionary position where the participant on the bottom, laying on their back with face up, is motionless - virtually catatonic - and absolutely quiet with an blank, eerie expression on their face throughout the entire sexual act 2. intercourse with a coldfish that is mentally uncomfortable and/or disturbing due to the comportment of the coldfish 3. any form of creepy, eery or weird non-fetish sexual activity 4. sex with a ghost, e.g. succubus or incubus

Note: Haunted sex is much more than motionless, lazy sex or zombie sex. There is a definite element of the profoundly disturbed present - something straight out of the Twilight Zone. Furthermore, no one suspects that they are about to experience this type of sex. There are no signs present to indicate that you are in for the truly bizarre (i.e. the potential sex mate appears to be completely normal - for all practical purposes it seems that you are going to get laid and it just might be some great sex).

Very irksome to those of us who have had the mis-fortune of experiencing it.
Last night I had the worst sexual experience of my life with a coldfish. Truly awful - she didn't move and just laid there with an empty expression on her face the whole time. It really sent a shiver up my spine. I'd have been better-off staying at home and choking the chicken.

She's really weird - all your going to get from of her is haunted sex. My advice to you is to not waste your time - unless you're into bizarre sex.

Anna Nicole Smith stated that she had haunted sex with an incubus. She reported that it went up her leg and gave her the best orgasm that she had ever experienced. Plus she wasn't afraid - she liked it. Ms. Smith had problems.
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 18, 2009
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Voconstable

{voh-kahn-stah-bull} noun, 1. A person that corrects the mis-pronounciation, mis-spelling and/or mis-application of a word in speech, print or signing
The voconstable corrected me by pointing out that it's prodigious, not prodiginous.

The voconstable quickly denounced our use of the word "Spanglish"... it's just plain wrong!
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 16, 2009
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Cum Killer

{kum keeler} noun, 1. Anything that brings intercourse to a non-climactic end and completely kills any and all sex drive/desire 2. A person that starts crying and/or becomes overly needy, emotional, contemplative and/or somber during intercourse
That shotgun blast to my ass was a real cum killer.

Her nasty fart was a real cum killer.

She's a real cum killer - all of a sudden she started to sob while we were shagging.
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 16, 2009
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Double Shelved

{dub-el shelvd} verb transitive, 1. to be rejected by someone - usually when making a romantic pass or hit on them 2. jilted
He's all depressed because he got double shelved by the woman he likes. She told him "No way, you're a loser."

Oh man, you got double shelved!
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 18, 2009
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Counter Fuck

{cown-ter fuhk} noun, 1. sexual intercourse outside of a relationship as retaliation for a partner's cheating or other infidelities 2. the person with which one has the counter fuck intercourse
I think she should counter fuck him. That'll teach him not to cheat.

He cheated on her last week so she's on a mission to find a counter fuck.

Check it out, there goes his counter fuck.
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does October 10, 2009
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Big Daddy Duke

{beeg dahddee dook} noun, 1. A very popular male - especially amongst females 2. An alpha male with lots of money 3. A very large penis
We'll get Big Daddy Duke to bring the chicks.

He ain't called Big Daddy Duke for no reason - he makes a hundred grand a year.

Wow, he's got a Big Daddy Duke - I couldn't get it all the way in. I choked, I gagged, I quiffed...Oh my!
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 16, 2009
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Seed Sharing

{ceed cher-ing} verb, 1. sexual intercourse
Wow, look at her tits...I'd like to get down to some serious seed sharing with her!
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 16, 2009
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