52 definitions by Stoney69
Usually acquired at the back of a 7-Eleven store from some raunchy skank. The skank will pour a highly coveted 7-Eleven slurpee on her crotch and the man will slurp it up like a vacuum cleaner. Most likely will receive herpes after this infamous act as the skank provides genital slurpees to just about every dude in town.
Mike: Dude I could really go for a 7-Eleven hot dog and slurpee right now. Those things are legendary.
Stoney: Better yet, go behind the 7-Eleven and the token skank will supply you with some genital slurpees. Real succulent, but be careful you don’t wanna get the herps.
Mike: Dude I’ve had several of those before, I didn’t know that’s what they were called!
Stoney: Better yet, go behind the 7-Eleven and the token skank will supply you with some genital slurpees. Real succulent, but be careful you don’t wanna get the herps.
Mike: Dude I’ve had several of those before, I didn’t know that’s what they were called!
by Stoney69 January 27, 2019
Stoney Bologna: Yo BC, wanna hit the joint tonight?
Big Cheesy: nah browski, I’m on house arrest.
SB: ……wtf you do this time
BC: Well… there’s this tradition on May 5th, called Stinkhole de Mayo. You find the closest Mexican chick, and you fill her stinkhole with Mayo, like the condiment. Then you plug her tooter with a butt plug and when she rips ass, her spinky explodes with white, slimy, goodness. It’s hilarious!
SB: Dawg… you are a badass MF!! I wanna be like you when my balls drop.
Big Cheesy: nah browski, I’m on house arrest.
SB: ……wtf you do this time
BC: Well… there’s this tradition on May 5th, called Stinkhole de Mayo. You find the closest Mexican chick, and you fill her stinkhole with Mayo, like the condiment. Then you plug her tooter with a butt plug and when she rips ass, her spinky explodes with white, slimy, goodness. It’s hilarious!
SB: Dawg… you are a badass MF!! I wanna be like you when my balls drop.
by Stoney69 July 17, 2022
This occurs when you expel your spank juice and go to empty the rain from your meat tube. Your garden hose will be weak after the storm that just took place, and the bushes (your hanging walnuts) will get a nice rain shower. Fun fact: An occasional rain shower helps the bushes grow nice and strong!
Tyraint: Yo brewski, schlong time no see. Wanna hit the club this weekend?
Big Queefy: Sup tyrantula.. I think I gotta take the weekend off. I slammed this 350-lb gorilla last weekend and there was a severe thunderstorm, so my garden hose has been super weak lately. I’ve been watering the bushes the last 5 days, so I gotta take some time to recover.
Tyraint: Damn sounds like you banged Whorambe’s sister? I would’ve loved to experience that, good for you my guy. Hope you and your bushes are doing well, take care.
Big Queefy: Sup tyrantula.. I think I gotta take the weekend off. I slammed this 350-lb gorilla last weekend and there was a severe thunderstorm, so my garden hose has been super weak lately. I’ve been watering the bushes the last 5 days, so I gotta take some time to recover.
Tyraint: Damn sounds like you banged Whorambe’s sister? I would’ve loved to experience that, good for you my guy. Hope you and your bushes are doing well, take care.
by Stoney69 June 22, 2022
A man loads his semen into the jacuzzi jets before turning on the tub. The next unassuming woman to take a relaxing bath will be bombarded with the man’s jitt (hense jittcuzzi). The sloor may later becum pregnant from the jacuzzi jets firing the jizz into her cooch, like that of a cannonball shooting out of a cannon.
Disclaimer: Not recommended in Alabama
Disclaimer: Not recommended in Alabama
Caitlin Jenner: Took a nice bubble bath in my neighbor’s hot tub last night. It was hella relaxing.
Pimp: Bitch, hope you wasn’t in a Jittcuzzi Tub of Cumception. Them shits will get you preg af. Worst thing is, if you is in Alabamer, they gon’ make you keep the baby. Unless you wanna go to jail and get pounded by Sandusky type mofos and shit like that.
Pimp: Bitch, hope you wasn’t in a Jittcuzzi Tub of Cumception. Them shits will get you preg af. Worst thing is, if you is in Alabamer, they gon’ make you keep the baby. Unless you wanna go to jail and get pounded by Sandusky type mofos and shit like that.
by Stoney69 May 17, 2019
Similar to a Fitbit around your wrist, this device goes around your waist. Every time you defecate, it will sense that you are about to excrete fecal matter and will start going to work. With its advanced detection system, this device will calculate the amount of snickers dropped in the punch bowl, total squeezes of the sphincter, and will even detect the development of hemorrhoids during the painful process of squeezing out your piping hot logs. At the end of the week, the device will send you a report of how many dumps you have taken each day. It will also recommend lifestyle changes if you are dropping the kids off at the pool too frequently throughout the week. This device is available for a price of $69.99.
Tyrant: Yo dude, my shits have been crazy lately. The tater tots I ate yesterday legit blew through me like a laxative. I bought a Shitbit to help me track how many times I shit per day and the number is astounding. On average, i shit about 4 to 5 times a day.
Big Easy: Bro you might want to see a doctor about that. It seems kinda unhealthy.
Tyrant: Nah dude, doctors are overrated. That’s why I bought a Shitbit. It recommends specific lifestyle changes and even gives you words of encouragement like Siri does sometimes.
Big Easy: Siri and I had sex once.
Big Easy: Bro you might want to see a doctor about that. It seems kinda unhealthy.
Tyrant: Nah dude, doctors are overrated. That’s why I bought a Shitbit. It recommends specific lifestyle changes and even gives you words of encouragement like Siri does sometimes.
Big Easy: Siri and I had sex once.
by Stoney69 March 6, 2019
Having two computer monitors for the purpose of watching porn. This will allow the viewer to listen to the moaning through two high definition speakers, which makes for some great fondling and erotic ejaculations.
Big Easy: Dude, I was plowing my wife last night, and she was moaning like a whale on crack.
Juicy J: Bro, me and my chick were watching some porn on some Dual Moanitors last night. The shit was electric and I swear I blew a load like a whale blows water out it’s blowhole. It really works wonders.
Big Easy: Wow... I have never been so proud of you in my life.
Juicy J: Bro, me and my chick were watching some porn on some Dual Moanitors last night. The shit was electric and I swear I blew a load like a whale blows water out it’s blowhole. It really works wonders.
Big Easy: Wow... I have never been so proud of you in my life.
by Stoney69 March 16, 2019
Tyrant: Hey can you do me a favor? I need to ReQSST off from work tomorrow. Can I trust you to do all my work?
Big Easy: Bro I would but.... I don’t work with you anymore.
Tyrant: Shit that’s right. Guess I’ll hit up Phil Collins.
Big Easy: Bro I would but.... I don’t work with you anymore.
Tyrant: Shit that’s right. Guess I’ll hit up Phil Collins.
by Stoney69 September 22, 2019