Bollock Butchery

This occurs when your gonads are hung like a horse and you’re sittin’ on the shit pot. When you flush, the boys get caught in the suction and are ripped from your scrotal sack and flushed into oblivion.
Tyrant: Dude you wanna hit the strip club tonight? I heard Rosie O’ Donnell is gonna be there showing off her FUPA. You could fit a fucking Boeing 737 in that puss.

Big Easy: I’m gonna have to sit this one out my dawg. Just experienced bollock butchery last night. I was going to Dunkin, and next thing I know my cojones get sucked down the shit pipe. Hoping to get a transplant in the next week. I may take one from Phil Collins. There’s a myth going around on the internet that he’s had a third nut all these years. Must be why he’s always coming in the air.

Tyrant: Dude you got serious fucking issues.
by Stoney69 August 01, 2019
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PubeTube

Online streaming service where dudes specifically show off their big bushes of pubes. The bigger the bush, the more views there typically are. Weekly awards are also given out for things like biggest bush, curliest bush and most unusual bush.
Tyrant: Dude I was watching game of thrones the other night. All they dude is bone.

The Boss: Bro, if you’re sick of watching all the pounding, go on PubeTube. The bushes and hedges on that site are crazy and there are some interesting videos on how to even do some landscaping.

Tyrant: Dude I’ll have to check that out in my spare time!
by Stoney69 April 28, 2019
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Conorrhea

This usually occurs when a man wants revenge on his hoe. While the woman is in a deep slumber, he will inject a gooey substance such as jelly into her clapper. Then the next time she takes a piss, a gooey discharge will be expelled, and the woman will think she has gonorrhea.
Mike: Stoney my dude, I think I got the Gons. My cock feels like a serial killer came in and stabbed my cock and now I’m pissing blood.

Stoney: Bro I think you have a problem. Side note: I tricked this hoe into thinking she had gonorrhea. I call it Conorrhea. I just shot a nice gelatinous substance up into her cooch while she was sleeping and the next day she screamed when she went to tinkle. That’s what she gets for smashin’ “Hungry dog” Jason.

Mike: Stoney, you never fail to amaze me. I might try that on that skank I met behind the 7-Eleven. Gotta get revenge for the Genital Slurpees she gave me a while back (See Genital Slurpees).
by Stoney69 February 02, 2019
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Humpty-Dumptied

This wonderful event starts out with a man sitting on a wall to show off his crotch to a woman he has a crush on. To show the woman that he is mating material, he will hump the wall in hopes of moistening her lady garden. However, he does not realize that humping the hard wall will stimulate his spinky and cause a great fall... of shit. The poopy will land below on the woman, and all hopes of mating will be crushed.
Tyrant: Yo boss, happy Friday. Any fun plans for the weekend?

The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.

Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.

The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.

Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.
by Stoney69 December 18, 2020
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Allahu Cockbar

An exclamation that a man yells when he is about to go balls deep in his woman’s hoo hoo and wants her to know that his wang is the greatest. This will arouse the woman and make her moister than a 6 month old heavily used sponge.
Stoney: Yo bro, how’s it hangin?

Big Queefy: You mean like how’s it going or how my wang is hangin?

Stoney: I mean.... I guess both lol

Big Queefy: Well I’m doing well thanks for asking. My wang on the other hand is in urgent care recovery. I screamed Allahu Cockbar when I was slamming this hoe last night and she opened up like a newly born clam popping out of its shell. I smashed her way too hard and bruised my brisket. So that’s how my mangled meat is doing.

Stoney: Damn bro, lmk if you need me to tag in next time. I would’ve been ready to go.
by Stoney69 September 21, 2021
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Wizzconsin Mudpie

The delightful act of simultaneously peeing, pooping, and blowing your homemade man juice on a hoe that you slightly dislike.
Tyrant: Bro I can’t wait to go home and slap my bag. I’m so stressed out after this week.

Big Easy: Dude I’m stressed too. I might hit up one of my exes and give her a Wizzconsin Mudpie. I’m gonna make sure to eat Taco Bell and a shit ton of asparagus and garlic so my jack juice and poo poo smell like rotten slut.

Tyrant: Dude if you need assistance I can help you out. We can even go to Dunkin after to celebrate.

Big Easy: Pp
by Stoney69 October 10, 2019
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Sleep Crapnea

This occurs when your partner is snoring obnoxiously loud. You proceed to squat over your partner’s face and drop a nice steamy log(s) into his or her mouth, which will stop the snoring. Unfortunately, this may cause Sleep Crapnea as your partner may be unable to breathe because of the foul odor that now lives inside his or her mouth.

P.S. This is a bad idea to attempt if one has consumed an irritant such as Chipotle or Taco Bell within the last 48 hours. Diarrhea is a high risk within this range of time, and will definitely awake the partner into a frenzy.
Tyrant: Yo bro, me and a couple dudes are gonna hit the bar after work today. You in?

Big Easy: Nah bro I can’t make it. My wife’s still pissed off about the Sleep Crapnea she had last night. Turns out I had major diarrhea from Taco Tuesday last night. When I went to drop a log in her mouth to stop her outrageous snoring, I accidentally pushed too hard and I blew shit all over her face. It was a massive shitstorm and she almost kicked me outta the house. I told her I was sleepwalking and thought her face was the toilet and she totally bought it.

Tyrant: Dude you gotta be more careful next time. Could’ve just made her sleep on the couch or the sidewalk.
by Stoney69 June 18, 2019
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