Stoney69's definitions

Humpty-Dumptied

This wonderful event starts out with a man sitting on a wall to show off his crotch to a woman he has a crush on. To show the woman that he is mating material, he will hump the wall in hopes of moistening her lady garden. However, he does not realize that humping the hard wall will stimulate his spinky and cause a great fall... of shit. The poopy will land below on the woman, and all hopes of mating will be crushed.

Tyrant: Yo boss, happy Friday. Any fun plans for the weekend?

The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.

Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.

The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.

Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.

by Stoney69 December 18, 2020

Freezing Pipe Plunge

Similar to the Polar Bear Plunge where idiots run into the ocean in below freezing weather to raise money for charity. This occurs when you run into the ocean and have to drop a massive pipe. When your bum hits the water, the freezing temperature will cause the pipe to plunge back into your a-hole, similar to a mole returning to his hole. Because of the sheer force that the pipe withdrew back into your spink, you may need emergency surgery to stop a pootential clogging. This surgery involves a surgeon, a plunger, and a gloved hand. The surgeon will have to plunge the pipe out of your b-hole in hopes of unclogging your septic system. Good luck.

Tyrant: Bro you wanna hit the club tonight?

Big Easy: Man I wish but I gotta rest my b-hole for a few days. I messed it up bad during the freezing pipe plunge

Tyrant: What is that??

Big Easy: Imagine the pipes Rappa on the Crappa drops. It’s that level of force, but the pipe sucks further into your bum instead of being expelled into the turdlet.

Tyrant: That sounds like a good time. Invite me next time.

by Stoney69 November 13, 2020

Rappa on the Crappa

Some d-bag wannabe rapper that makes shitty raps while dropping some snickers in the punch bowl. Has enough raps to drop a mix tape, but instead he just drops pipes.

Tyrant: Bro I been listening to this buhl Rappa on the Crappa. His rhymes are pretty shitty but his pipes are 🔥. Have you heard of him?

Big Easy: Yo welcome back to Rappa on the Crappa... CHECK IT. Boom chicka beem pa beem pa boom boom, splooooooosh.

Tyrant: You are my hero.

by Stoney69 November 7, 2020

Jitt-Skiing

Step 1: Get a slutty chick, 2 horny bros and a jet ski.

Step 2: Position the hoe in between the 2 dudes and start the engine.

Step 3: The gutter slut proceeds to pump both dudes off as they glide across the moist bay.

Tyrunt: Yo bro tryna go jet skiing this summer?

Big Queasy: Nah that’s for geeks. I only go jitt-skiing with my boy and his tranny girl. It’s a hell of a time and we drink Coronas after.

Tyrunt: You’re my bedtime hero.

by Stoney69 April 2, 2020

Puke-Dick & Shit

So one night you’re laying in bed and your stomach starts to hurt. So you go to the bathroom to drop a dook. You start pumpin out some snickers but then you realize you gotta puke. With your b-hole all greased up, you’re hesitant to get off the shitter. Before you can even make any decision, your throat sphincter gives in and releases your intestine goo. Reacting quickly, you aim down at the toilet you are still sitting on... and now you have a puke dick. Nice goin a-hole.

Miguel Cumbrera: Yo amigo. How you handling the quarantino?

Antonio Bonederas: Mi Hermano it’s not going so bueno. Last night I went to drop some snickers in the punch bowl, and I ended up with puke-dick & shit too. At least I can’t go anywhere, so my chicas at the club won’t know.

Miguel Cumbrera: Hombre that’s some gnarly mierda you got there. You and me should get together tomorrow for drinks. How about some Coronas?

by Stoney69 March 24, 2020

Cumplete Nightmare

This one is a nightmare bro, don’t want this to happen to you bruh. Anyway, this starts off by you choking your chicken until you excrete ur man juice onto a soft tissue. You then go to dispose of said rag, but you trip over a foreign object bc it is dark af and 2am. Your cum rag splashes everywhere, including on your face. What else could go wrong?? Well.. Your mom, startled, scurries into the room to check if you are okay and she too becums covered in goo. This is a cumplete nightmare.

Miguel: Hey guy, have any plans for the weekend?

Antoine: Nah man, last night was a cumplete nightmare. Think I better lay low for a couple nights.

Miguel: What happened?

Antoine: I’d rather not say. I’m still tryna clean up the damage...

by Stoney69 February 27, 2020

Three-Course-Dump

Step 1 (The Apootizer): This is the beginning of a shitty ride. This will be a light loosening of the spinky, and possibly even a log or two may drop. However you are simply preparing for the main course so remain pootient.

Step 2 (The main Poo-latter): Logs will be droppin’, spinkies will be poppin’. Things could get messy real quick. You might even want to invest in a deeper toilet bowl to avoid splash damage.

Step 3 (Dessert Deuces): Now that the main Poo-latter is over, its time to finish it off with a nice Crème Poolée. These logs will be nice and creamy, with a layer of crusty caramel glazed on top.

Bon appootit.

TyrantulaSaurus Rex: Yo Buhl watchu doin for the Super Bowl?

Big Cheesy: I’m taking a nice three-course-dump. In other words, I’m taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.

TyrantulaSaurus Rex: Sweet so you’re telling me the New England Pootriots aren’t in it this year?

Big Cheesy: That’s right. I’m taking them with me too. Should be very pooleasant.

by Stoney69 February 2, 2020