Stoney69's definitions
This wonderful event starts out with a man sitting on a wall to show off his crotch to a woman he has a crush on. To show the woman that he is mating material, he will hump the wall in hopes of moistening her lady garden. However, he does not realize that humping the hard wall will stimulate his spinky and cause a great fall... of shit. The poopy will land below on the woman, and all hopes of mating will be crushed.
Tyrant: Yo boss, happy Friday. Any fun plans for the weekend?
The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.
Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.
The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.
Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.
The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.
Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.
The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.
Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.
by Stoney69 December 18, 2020
Get the Humpty-Dumptied mug.This occurs when your partner is snoring obnoxiously loud. You proceed to squat over your partner’s face and drop a nice steamy log(s) into his or her mouth, which will stop the snoring. Unfortunately, this may cause Sleep Crapnea as your partner may be unable to breathe because of the foul odor that now lives inside his or her mouth.
P.S. This is a bad idea to attempt if one has consumed an irritant such as Chipotle or Taco Bell within the last 48 hours. Diarrhea is a high risk within this range of time, and will definitely awake the partner into a frenzy.
P.S. This is a bad idea to attempt if one has consumed an irritant such as Chipotle or Taco Bell within the last 48 hours. Diarrhea is a high risk within this range of time, and will definitely awake the partner into a frenzy.
Tyrant: Yo bro, me and a couple dudes are gonna hit the bar after work today. You in?
Big Easy: Nah bro I can’t make it. My wife’s still pissed off about the Sleep Crapnea she had last night. Turns out I had major diarrhea from Taco Tuesday last night. When I went to drop a log in her mouth to stop her outrageous snoring, I accidentally pushed too hard and I blew shit all over her face. It was a massive shitstorm and she almost kicked me outta the house. I told her I was sleepwalking and thought her face was the toilet and she totally bought it.
Tyrant: Dude you gotta be more careful next time. Could’ve just made her sleep on the couch or the sidewalk.
Big Easy: Nah bro I can’t make it. My wife’s still pissed off about the Sleep Crapnea she had last night. Turns out I had major diarrhea from Taco Tuesday last night. When I went to drop a log in her mouth to stop her outrageous snoring, I accidentally pushed too hard and I blew shit all over her face. It was a massive shitstorm and she almost kicked me outta the house. I told her I was sleepwalking and thought her face was the toilet and she totally bought it.
Tyrant: Dude you gotta be more careful next time. Could’ve just made her sleep on the couch or the sidewalk.
by Stoney69 June 18, 2019
Get the Sleep Crapnea mug.Usually acquired at the back of a 7-Eleven store from some raunchy skank. The skank will pour a highly coveted 7-Eleven slurpee on her crotch and the man will slurp it up like a vacuum cleaner. Most likely will receive herpes after this infamous act as the skank provides genital slurpees to just about every dude in town.
Mike: Dude I could really go for a 7-Eleven hot dog and slurpee right now. Those things are legendary.
Stoney: Better yet, go behind the 7-Eleven and the token skank will supply you with some genital slurpees. Real succulent, but be careful you don’t wanna get the herps.
Mike: Dude I’ve had several of those before, I didn’t know that’s what they were called!
Stoney: Better yet, go behind the 7-Eleven and the token skank will supply you with some genital slurpees. Real succulent, but be careful you don’t wanna get the herps.
Mike: Dude I’ve had several of those before, I didn’t know that’s what they were called!
by Stoney69 January 27, 2019
Get the Genital Slurpees mug.So you’re having a bad day. What better way to improve the day than to play a joke on someone and make them miserable too? This gag starts by dropping a steamy snickers along with a cream pie in the punch bowl and then dropping an object of importance right next to the toilet. You must now come up with an excuse to make someone else retrieve the item (eg: I threw out my back last night bc Bill Cosby pounded my spinky so good. Could you please help me?). If timed correctly, when the poor lad goes to pick up the item, the toilet will auto flush and the creamy mudpie will splatter onto his face like a child trying to eat a cream filled donut.
Tyrant: Dude I took the kids swimming yesterday. It was a nice day.
Big Easy: Glad you had a nice day, my day was miserable. I went to the shitter and decided to pump and dump. Then told buhl I needed him to pick something up for me. When he went to bend over the toilet flushed at the perfect time and he got mollywhopped by my Boston cream pie. You know what they say, “misery loves cumpoony”.
Tyrant: You need to see a psychiatrist.
Big Easy: Glad you had a nice day, my day was miserable. I went to the shitter and decided to pump and dump. Then told buhl I needed him to pick something up for me. When he went to bend over the toilet flushed at the perfect time and he got mollywhopped by my Boston cream pie. You know what they say, “misery loves cumpoony”.
Tyrant: You need to see a psychiatrist.
by Stoney69 August 29, 2019
Get the Misery Loves Cumpoony mug.When you have such copious amounts of pubic hair, that you have to reach around your bush to pull your monkey, causing an inconvenient delay.
Big Easy: Yo bro, my wife won’t let me smash so I’ve had to tug on my rope lately. It’s also no shave November, so I’ve had to beat around the bush.
Tyrant: When you say beating around the bush, you mean like delaying the shaving of your man shrubs?
Big Easy: No I literally have to beat around my bush. I got more hair down there than Rapunzel.
Tyrant: Sounds like a hairy situation.
Tyrant: When you say beating around the bush, you mean like delaying the shaving of your man shrubs?
Big Easy: No I literally have to beat around my bush. I got more hair down there than Rapunzel.
Tyrant: Sounds like a hairy situation.
by Stoney69 November 30, 2019
Get the Beat around the bush mug.Here’s the situation. You have this chick over and you about to eat some flounder. As she becomes moist, you then realize she has SOS (Stanky Oozing Syndrome). You can either tell her your stomach hurts and fish will just irritate it, or you can man up and say you gotta drop a massive dookster and will be right back. You proceed to go to the bathroom and eat a dead bat that you’ve been storing for a situation like this. You will instantly contract COVID-19 and lose all smell and taste. Now get back out there and enjoy a nice filet-o-fish.
T-Bone: Yo broski, what’s on the menu tonight?
Big Queasy: Well I was gonna eat some salmon with my wife, but the fish I been having lately just don’t taste right..
T-Bone: Hmmm.. sounds like a case of SOS (Stanky Oozing Syndrome). I’ll tell you what if you need any dead bats, just go to Shitty Noodle Factory. My boy Ching Ming Wang can hook you up with some fresh COVID-19 in no time. Then that “salmon” will just taste like nothing.
Big Queasy: Thanks T-Bone. I knew there was a reason we were friends. I will hit up the SNF for dinner tonight. I hear they have great dinner specials.
Big Queasy: Well I was gonna eat some salmon with my wife, but the fish I been having lately just don’t taste right..
T-Bone: Hmmm.. sounds like a case of SOS (Stanky Oozing Syndrome). I’ll tell you what if you need any dead bats, just go to Shitty Noodle Factory. My boy Ching Ming Wang can hook you up with some fresh COVID-19 in no time. Then that “salmon” will just taste like nothing.
Big Queasy: Thanks T-Bone. I knew there was a reason we were friends. I will hit up the SNF for dinner tonight. I hear they have great dinner specials.
by Stoney69 April 23, 2021
Get the SOS (Stanky Oozing Syndrome) mug.An underground gallery full of ancient artifacts (or Jizzifacts if you will) from centuries past. May consist of jizz rags, jizz filled socks, jizz crusted tissues, etc. Access is permitted only to those who contribute their own unique Jizzifact to the Catacumb.
Mike: Yo Tone-Bone, my wife wouldn’t let me enter the Krusty Krab last night so I had to create my own jizz rag.
Tone-Bone: DAWG! You should totally add your jizz rag to the Catacumb downtown. You could becum a part of ancient Jizztory.
Mike: Bone my dawg, you are a genius. I hadn’t pulled my monkey in over a week so I splat like a fire hose.
Tone-Bone: Bro that’s vile.. I envy you.
Tone-Bone: DAWG! You should totally add your jizz rag to the Catacumb downtown. You could becum a part of ancient Jizztory.
Mike: Bone my dawg, you are a genius. I hadn’t pulled my monkey in over a week so I splat like a fire hose.
Tone-Bone: Bro that’s vile.. I envy you.
by Stoney69 February 9, 2019
Get the Catacumb mug.