Definitions by Stoney69
Merry Clitmas
This one can be very tricky, so fasten your sleigh belts. Step 1: Dress up like Santa clause. Step 2: Fit your way down someone’s chimney. Step 3: This involves some luck. The hope is that you landed in a house with a hot hoe hoe hoe and a sleeping husband. The hoe has had too much to drink so she wonders her way downstairs when she hears a loud bang. Thinking you are her husband, she de-clothes herself and sneaks up on you. Step 4: Proceed to pound the hoe hoe’s fruit cake until it has enough whipped topping. Step 5: Flick her bean, and yell “Merry Clitmas”. Step 6: Get the hell outta there. Her husband has probably awoken by now and is sprinting down the steps with his shotgun ready to blow your meat missile off to Jupiter... **kinky**
Tyrant: Bro how was your Christmas?
Big Easy: It was pretty eventful. I sharted multiple times and had a five dollar footlong for breakfast. Hbu?
Tyrant: Boy I’ll tell ya I had an amazing Christmas! Almost didn’t make it out alive. Long story short, I went to some hoe’s house and popped her cherry. Then I yelled Merry Clitmas and booked it outta there. I think her dad was coming to teach me a lesson. Turns out he was a cop, so good thing I high tailed it outta there.
Big Easy: Damn I wish I was as cool as you.
Big Easy: It was pretty eventful. I sharted multiple times and had a five dollar footlong for breakfast. Hbu?
Tyrant: Boy I’ll tell ya I had an amazing Christmas! Almost didn’t make it out alive. Long story short, I went to some hoe’s house and popped her cherry. Then I yelled Merry Clitmas and booked it outta there. I think her dad was coming to teach me a lesson. Turns out he was a cop, so good thing I high tailed it outta there.
Big Easy: Damn I wish I was as cool as you.
Merry Clitmas by Stoney69 December 24, 2019
Beat around the bush
When you have such copious amounts of pubic hair, that you have to reach around your bush to pull your monkey, causing an inconvenient delay.
Big Easy: Yo bro, my wife won’t let me smash so I’ve had to tug on my rope lately. It’s also no shave November, so I’ve had to beat around the bush.
Tyrant: When you say beating around the bush, you mean like delaying the shaving of your man shrubs?
Big Easy: No I literally have to beat around my bush. I got more hair down there than Rapunzel.
Tyrant: Sounds like a hairy situation.
Tyrant: When you say beating around the bush, you mean like delaying the shaving of your man shrubs?
Big Easy: No I literally have to beat around my bush. I got more hair down there than Rapunzel.
Tyrant: Sounds like a hairy situation.
Beat around the bush by Stoney69 November 30, 2019
Cornhole TP Toss
When you are done making poopoo and you are ready to wipe your butthole, you stand up to wipe. Once done, you go to toss the TP in the toilet but accidentally miss. The poopy filled TP hits the victim’s foot in the stall next to you and you must make a crunch time decision to book it out of the bathroom or wait for them to leave before you. The key is not to get caught, or you will be in for some intense embarrassment, and maybe even lifetime if it is a coworker. (**Disclaimer: Inspired by true Events**)
Grappler: Dude, some shit just happened to me.
Big Easy: Go ahead...
Grappler: I was droppin a deuce staley, and I went for a Cornhole TP toss into the shitpot. My aim was off and it hit the side of the shitpot and bounced into the stall next to me. Unfortunately it landed right on the buhl’s foot next to me and it was covered in the brown. I didn’t even finish wiping or bother to flush, I legit booked it out of there and carried on with the day.
Big Easy: Donkey Boner
Big Easy: Go ahead...
Grappler: I was droppin a deuce staley, and I went for a Cornhole TP toss into the shitpot. My aim was off and it hit the side of the shitpot and bounced into the stall next to me. Unfortunately it landed right on the buhl’s foot next to me and it was covered in the brown. I didn’t even finish wiping or bother to flush, I legit booked it out of there and carried on with the day.
Big Easy: Donkey Boner
Cornhole TP Toss by Stoney69 November 29, 2019
Booger Bush
When you are taking a shower and vigorously blow your nose between your hands, the boogers fly out of your nose at breakneck speed into your man bush. Introducing... the creation of lè booger bush.
Big Easy: Dude, do you ever have to blow your nose so bad that you shart?
Tyrantula: Even worse man. I blow my nose so hard in the shower that my boogies get caught in my Amazon forest and I can’t find them. Now I got a friggen booger bush!
Big Easy: I just bushted a nut.
Tyrantula: Even worse man. I blow my nose so hard in the shower that my boogies get caught in my Amazon forest and I can’t find them. Now I got a friggen booger bush!
Big Easy: I just bushted a nut.
Booger Bush by Stoney69 November 14, 2019
Wizzconsin Mudpie
The delightful act of simultaneously peeing, pooping, and blowing your homemade man juice on a hoe that you slightly dislike.
Tyrant: Bro I can’t wait to go home and slap my bag. I’m so stressed out after this week.
Big Easy: Dude I’m stressed too. I might hit up one of my exes and give her a Wizzconsin Mudpie. I’m gonna make sure to eat Taco Bell and a shit ton of asparagus and garlic so my jack juice and poo poo smell like rotten slut.
Tyrant: Dude if you need assistance I can help you out. We can even go to Dunkin after to celebrate.
Big Easy: Pp
Big Easy: Dude I’m stressed too. I might hit up one of my exes and give her a Wizzconsin Mudpie. I’m gonna make sure to eat Taco Bell and a shit ton of asparagus and garlic so my jack juice and poo poo smell like rotten slut.
Tyrant: Dude if you need assistance I can help you out. We can even go to Dunkin after to celebrate.
Big Easy: Pp
Wizzconsin Mudpie by Stoney69 October 10, 2019
ReQSST off
Tyrant: Hey can you do me a favor? I need to ReQSST off from work tomorrow. Can I trust you to do all my work?
Big Easy: Bro I would but.... I don’t work with you anymore.
Tyrant: Shit that’s right. Guess I’ll hit up Phil Collins.
Big Easy: Bro I would but.... I don’t work with you anymore.
Tyrant: Shit that’s right. Guess I’ll hit up Phil Collins.
ReQSST off by Stoney69 September 21, 2019
Misery Loves Cumpoony
So you’re having a bad day. What better way to improve the day than to play a joke on someone and make them miserable too? This gag starts by dropping a steamy snickers along with a cream pie in the punch bowl and then dropping an object of importance right next to the toilet. You must now come up with an excuse to make someone else retrieve the item (eg: I threw out my back last night bc Bill Cosby pounded my spinky so good. Could you please help me?). If timed correctly, when the poor lad goes to pick up the item, the toilet will auto flush and the creamy mudpie will splatter onto his face like a child trying to eat a cream filled donut.
Tyrant: Dude I took the kids swimming yesterday. It was a nice day.
Big Easy: Glad you had a nice day, my day was miserable. I went to the shitter and decided to pump and dump. Then told buhl I needed him to pick something up for me. When he went to bend over the toilet flushed at the perfect time and he got mollywhopped by my Boston cream pie. You know what they say, “misery loves cumpoony”.
Tyrant: You need to see a psychiatrist.
Big Easy: Glad you had a nice day, my day was miserable. I went to the shitter and decided to pump and dump. Then told buhl I needed him to pick something up for me. When he went to bend over the toilet flushed at the perfect time and he got mollywhopped by my Boston cream pie. You know what they say, “misery loves cumpoony”.
Tyrant: You need to see a psychiatrist.
Misery Loves Cumpoony by Stoney69 August 29, 2019