9 definitions by StonerWithATinyBoner
An obviously false excuse for one's penis either with regard to (size, performance, appearance, etc.)
Jenn: "Wow, now that's a small dick!"
Eric: "No, it's just cold, haven't you heard of shrinkage?"
Jenn: "It's the middle of summer and the air conditioner is broken, so..."
Eric: "I think the lighting must be making it look smaller..."
Jenn: "All I hear is dickscuse after dickscuse, little ass babydick having motherfucker! You should just own your tiny dingaling and move on."
Eric: "OK, fine, I have a small dick. Happy?"
Eric: "No, it's just cold, haven't you heard of shrinkage?"
Jenn: "It's the middle of summer and the air conditioner is broken, so..."
Eric: "I think the lighting must be making it look smaller..."
Jenn: "All I hear is dickscuse after dickscuse, little ass babydick having motherfucker! You should just own your tiny dingaling and move on."
Eric: "OK, fine, I have a small dick. Happy?"
by StonerWithATinyBoner November 16, 2014
The type of dude who has a tiny penis but constantly insinuates and says outright that he has a huge penis, and showing people that he has Magnum condoms. Everyone instantly realizes what he's doing and how small he must be, and just feels sorry for him in silence until he becomes unbearable, at which time he is confronted about how he must have a micropenis and is compensating for this. Symptoms include wearing a backwards Monster energy drink baseball cap and sleeveless shirts, tribal tattoos which belong to no particular tribe, flashy vehicles, and the use of urban slang by a Caucasian of upper middle class suburban background. Anyone who "accidentally" drops Magnum condoms especially is clearly a MagNub.
Cindy kind of liked Jake until after work he put on that sleeveless shirt and backwards Monster energy drink baseball cap. After that he turned into another person. When he went to grab a lighter and accidentally dropped six Magnum condoms on Cindy's lap, then said "Oops!" and winked, she realized he was probably a MagNub. At first she just smiled and silently felt sorry for him, but a few big dick jokes later she knew what she must do. She had him pull over his Hummer so he could show her his supposedly huge dick, but then after a long awkward silence with a pathetic look on his face, Jake pulled down his baggy pants to reveal what looked like a button on a fur coat, and Cindy then pulled out her new iPhone and quickly snapped a pic of his micro soft dick. He got mad and protested that it was a grower, not a shower, but she told him to prove it, or else she would post the picture on various social media sites. When he finally achieved a hardon he was still only about 2 inches long and the width of a roll of pennies. To amuse herself Cindy unrolled one of Jake's Magnum condoms and took a picture of it rolled out next to Jake's inprobably small micropenis. Now Jake has to pay Cindy $100 weekly to prevent her from revealing his "little secret" online, not suspecting that everyone already realizes how small he is from his behavior.
by StonerWithATinyBoner November 16, 2014